Too Close
by The Sleepy Wolf
Summary: Bella's a semi alcoholic, emotionally awkward and probably a sex addict. She and Alice have been sex buddies for the majority of high school and afterwards. When she screws up multiple times, can she get back into Alice's good books? With a bitch of an ex, unable to keep her metaphorical dick in her pants and a thick skull... The odds don't look good. AH. Reuploaded. Slow burn.
1. Chapter 1

**Did I say a week? I meant a month. Time really flies when you're doing fuck all. If the site decides to take my story down again, I won't be posting it back up, just to give you guys a heads up. I don't like editing myself that much, especially for something as small as a fucking summary. It's okay, I'm over it.**

**Nothing's really changed except their ages. Before they were between 18 - 24, now 21 - 28. Hopefully the ages will be specific as the chapters go, can't promise it since I suck at the small details.**

**This isn't Betaed cause I wanted to get this out, sorry for any mistakes.**

**XxX**

_Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!_

Is it wrong of me for wanting to drop-kick those kids? Yes? Oh.

I had my feet up on the coffee table, re watching the last episode of Game of Thrones, with Alice's legs slung over my lap. Three years ago Alice came to New York from Mississippi and I met her on the first day back at high school. Actually, I saw her on the first day but really met her a week later in detention. I was in the mini prison for fighting – I didn't start it, honestly – and she was there for talking back to Mr. Holcomb, her English teacher. Just under a year later, we were officially sex buddies. We've been doing this for some time now I'm sure there's a law somewhere that makes her my common law wife or... mistress.

"Is Daenerys more beautiful than me?" Alice still held a tint of her Mississippian accent. She looked away from the screen and up at me from the other end of the couch. I glanced between her and the TV several times.

"Well... yea, but I'd rather shag you instead." I grinned at her. She snorted and kicked me in the shoulder.

"We both know that's a lie." I narrowed my eyes, playfully.

"So, I'm a liar now, am I?" I grabbed one of her feet and started tickling the sole of it. She began laughing hysterically, trying to jerk her foot out of my grip.

"Stop! Please stop! I swear to god Bella, if you don't stop I'll kick you in the face!" Her sentence was interrupted by her laughing. I grinned and lessened my tickling before stopping completely, dropping her foot back in my lap. Alice took several breaths. Her foot shot up and hit me in the jaw. I groaned loudly in pain, clutching my sore jaw.

"What the fuck, I stopped." I rubbed my cheek. "I tickle you and you kick me in the face?"

"I told you to stop."

"Still, isn't that abit of an overreaction?" I opened and closed my mouth a couple times, rotating my jaw. "I think you kicked a tooth out."

"Now whose overreacting?" I was going to say something incredibly witty but heard keys slide into the door's lock; Jasper was home.

"Jasper, Alice's beating me up." I whined.

"It's always the small ones." Instead of hearing the Texan drawl, I heard a deep, clear voice, chuckling. I quickly turned around and saw Peter, Jasper's brother – tall, broad chested, slightly grown out crew cut and fur growing over his jaw – standing in the threshold. I leaped up, nearly knocking Alice off the couch, and threw myself at him.

"Holy shit, you're alive!" He's been overseas in Mosul, Iraq for the past twelve months on a tour of duty. He grinned down at me and I saw he had deep circles under his eyes, his cheeks more hollow than the last time I saw him and noticed he had small, almost most healed, cuts on his arms and hands.

"Of course I'm alive. I've got to keep an eye on my little brother." Peter shifted my ass onto his other hand and ruffled Jasper's tousled hair. Jasper shoved his hand away and smoothed his hair back, like it made much of a difference.

"Hey, quit hogging the solider, I want my hug as well." Alice came up behind me and pinched my ass. I huffed and slid back down to the floor, letting her take my place. I followed Jasper into the kitchen and took two beers out of the fridge.

"Why didn't you tell us Peter was coming home?"

"He wanted it to be a surprise." He turned around with a cup of coffee in his hand. I saw him glance disapprovingly at the bottles in my hands. "You have any plans for today?"

I shook my head and used the bottle opener to pop open one of the caps. "No, not really. First thing we're gonna definitely do is take Peter to Rose's place for some food; bugger doesn't look like he's eaten for months."

"Between tryin' not to get shot or blown up, I don't think he's had time to go and eat the local food." He looked down at his coffee then looked back up at me, smiling slightly. "Apparently jokin' about a situation lightens the mood and makes it easier to deal with."

"And? Is it working?" I took a sip out of the bottle.

"No. I still worry that my big brother won't come back, and scared that he does in a wooden box." I saw his fingers tighten around the mug he was holding, his knuckles turning white. I placed both beers on the counter behind me, gently took the mug out of his hands and gave him a hug.

"He'll always come back alive, Jasper. And you're not that funny. Me on the other hand, can turn any dark situation funny." I pulled back, smiling and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Is that so?"

"Of course, I'm fucking hilarious. Example; if someone told me they had a pink rabbit that takes batteries, my first thought wouldn't be the Duracell bunny." Jasper took his coffee and walked out the room without saying anything. "See? Funny, you just don't want me to be right." I took the beers and followed him out. I threw the unopened bottle and bottle opener to Peter on the couch, who caught them agilely.

"You're never right Bella, accept that." Alice had picked up her discarded bowl of Lucky Charms and flicked a marshmallow clover at me.

"I don't like the marshmallows, you know that." I tried to catch it and flick it back but missed it by a mile.

"You drive me insane by taking them out of the box. I sometimes want to shove them up your nose." I took a seat on the armrest of Jasper's chair and leaned my forearm on his shoulder.

"I'm surprised you haven't already."

"You don't stay still long enough." Alice looked passed me and raised her eyebrows. Two hands gripped my wrists and pinned them to my thighs.

"Oh, you treacherous homo bastard! Peter, help me!" I squirmed about, kicking my feet out, trying to get away from both of them. Peter got up and instead of helping me, he grabbed my feet and pinned them to the floor. "What the fuck, guys? Alice, I swear to god if you shove that up my nose I'll never sleep with you again."

"We all know that's not going to happen." Alice gripped my chin and shoved a star up my nose. "Hold onto her," She took her Iphone out her back pocket and took half a dozen pictures. "There, pretty as a picture."

"I fucking hate you all." I wrenched my hands from Jasper's and slapped Peter on top of his head. "Let go or I'll shave your eyebrows off while you're asleep." He raised his hands in surrender and went back to sitting on the couch. I blocked off my left nostril and blew. The star shot out and skidded to a halt in front of Alice's feet. "I'll make you eat it next time."

"Bella, you never follow through your threats; you're all bark and very little bite." She leaned forward and pecked me on the lips. "You're a cuddly teddy bear."

"Please don't call me that again." I begged. "Come on," I grabbed my worn leather jacket and my keys. "We're taking our soldier to Rose's for food."

"Okay, _cuddly teddy bear_." Jasper walked passed me, pinching my cheek as he went.

"Fuck off homo." I grabbed Alice around the waist and pulled her flush against me. "You know he's going to call me that forever now, right?"

"Sorry." She didn't sound sorry one bit.

...

"Look at you; you must take better care of yourself." It surprises me everytime Rose's mother instincts come out, since one of the first things you think of with Rose is bitch or icy, sometimes icy bitch. "You need to shave and freshen up, go into the bathroom, you can use Emmett's razor." She went up the three steps to her kitchen, and started making Peter a sandwich.

"You don't need to fuss around me, I'm perfectly healthy and I'm thinking about keeping the sideburns." Peter absent-mindedly touched the hair growing down his jaw.

"A week later and you'll look like Wolverine." I was sitting on the couch with a handful of Em's stash of gummi bears and Alice on my lap, feeding her the red ones.

"You're only jealous."

"You're completely right, I long for the day of having a beard, I toss and turn at night imagining the feel of one." I chucked a yellow bear at him.

"Hey! No throwing food in this house." Rose glared at me. I raised my free hand in surrender and continued offering Alice gummi's.

"You're feedin' Ali food?" Jasper came down from the kitchen and sat in the leather chair off the side to us. "What next, peelin' her grapes while lyin' on a couch, naked and body glistenin' with olive oil...?" He trailed off.

"You put abit too much thought into that, didn't you?" He said nothing and picked up a newspaper. I swallowed the last bear and curled my arms around Alice's waist and rested my chin on her shoulder. "Bet you think about me all naked and oiled up." I nipped at her earlobe.

"It's all I dream of." She turned her head and caught my lower lip with her teeth.

"I'd say something but I'm far too turned on to do anything." Peter was sitting in the other chair next to Jasper, staring at us.

"Thank god the army didn't turn you gay... no wait, that's prison isn't it?"

"When's Emmett's shift finished today?" Alice quickly changed the subject.

"Not until 11pm." Rose handed Peter a small pile of cut up sandwiches and sat next to me. "I think he and his boss have been feuding, Emmett's been on the late shifts all week."

"Doesn't that go against union or something?" I asked. I subtly shifted my left hand so it was blocked from everyone's view, and slipped it under Alice's shirt, stopping when I hit the bottom of her bra. She shot me a dirty look and pinched my thigh. I grinned and snapped the strap.

"You two stop gropin' each other and listen to this," Jasper spread the newspaper flat on the table and pointed to a property description. "Two storey log cabin; spacious livin' room with fireplace, kitchen, bathroom on second floor, master bedroom with en suite, second bedroom, located in woodlands with river a mile away..." That sounds familiar. "Forks, Washington."

"Are you fucking with me?" I took the paper and brought it closer. There it was, my childhood home up for sale. "Shit... shit, I've got to call Charlie."

**XxX**

**Improvement from the first first chapter? Short, I know, but I guess I made it like that as a tester chapter.**

**I changed the designs of BxJ and RxE apartments. Bella and Jasper's are Rachel and Monica's from Friends except the door is now facing the living room and big window, and Rose and Em's are Will and Grace's. If you've never seen either of them, which I find hard to believe, or you can't remember what they look like, go to the links on my profile.**

**Review and alert and fav and... that's it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is completely off topic but I'm curious and a little freaked out. I've had a couple of weird dreams this week, one of them being lying in bed with my boyfriend, completely innocent, then suddenly he disappears and is replaced with a snake that wraps around my leg, thigh mostly. The other one is me alone in a desert and it's raining blood. The internet doesn't have answers for either one so I'm asking if anyone knows psychological dream interpretation or shot in the dark half guesses.**

**This was suppose to be Beted but Green's computer is throwing a bitch fit and refusing to work.**

**XxX**

_This is Charlie Swan, I'm sorry I missed your call. _Beep. The man of few words at his fullest there.

I sighed and hung up. I've been trying to get a hold of him for the last hour and have only gotten his voicemail.

"Still nothing?" Alice came out to the patio and sat next to me on the stone bench. I shook my head and slipped my phone back in my pocket.

"I can't believe he's put the house on for sale, he loves that house. Something's forced his hand, that's the only explanation I can come up with."

"Or he wants to move." She twisted her body and threw her legs over my lap.

"That's such a simple suggestion," She gave me a look. "Oh. Okay, even if that is true why didn't he offer it to me first?"

"I can't answer for him. He'll have to answer his phone sooner or later, then you can question him." She picked up my wrist and started tracing my yang tattoo, one of her favourite past times. "Why do you care so much? You've told me in the past how much you hated that town, that there was nothing to do there, no privacy or you couldn't keep a secret. Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "I'm still not crazy about the location but I loved that house, still do. It's got this fireplace, all it needs is a fur rug and it's the perfect scene in one of those movies."

"Mmm, do you have any of these movies in your possession?" She moved along until she was sitting on my lap and fingered the neckline of my shirt.

"I'm afraid I don't, but we can make one of our own." I smirked and ran my hands up her legs. I want to find the clever bugger that invented denim shorts and kiss him. On their own accord, my hands crawled up her thighs, over her hips and started unbuttoning her blouse. I don't know what this shirt is made of but I like it a lot, very silky. I moved the parting open, one of the sleeves falling off her shoulder, and saw she was wearing a red polka dot lacy number, something I'd imagine a grown up Red riding hood would wear.

"Bella, we can't do this; everyone is inside."

"If we're quiet then they won't even notice." I slipped the shoulders off and kissed my way to the rise of her breasts. I was unbuttoning Alice's shorts when the patio's door opened and a groan cut through the air.

"No! No, no, goddamn no! You two are not allowed to have sex in my garden, or anywhere in my house." Rose came storming out, looking pretty pissed. "What the hell is wrong with you? You have a house not ten minutes away, Bella."

"Why do I always get the blame for this? Why doesn't it enter your mind that Alice was the one that started it?" I still hadn't moved my hands from the inside of Alice's shorts.

"You're always the one that starts it. You jump on Alice like you're a lion and she's the sick gazelle in the herd."

"Mmm, clever analogy." I removed my hands from the shorts. "Fine, cock block us but I'm gonna cock block you and Em til his blue balls turn to black balls." I pulled Alice's shirt over her shoulders and half buttoned it back up. "There, happy? No touching." I grabbed Alice's hips and lifted her off me. "Since my fun's over, why don't we go down to Antarctica? I'm sure Em needs a drink after a shift with the dickhead boss."

"I suppose he could do with a drink." Rose turned and headed back inside. I sighed and slipped my arm around Alice's hips.

"I swear she has a radar for us."

"Don't be paranoid. I have to go to my apartment to change." She started walking ahead of me but I quickly grabbed her hand and spun her back to me.

"Hold on a minute there, tinkerbell," I trapped her against me by placing my other hand on her lower back. "You're getting changed to go to a pub? What's wrong with what you're wearing now?"

"It's not the right style for the bar."

"You're going to Antarctica, not the Sydney royal opera house. _I _go in there, I think that says enough about its standards." I turned her around and walked through the double doors into the kitchen. "Besides, I like seeing your legs in these." I slapped her ass as I walked passed her, and greeted Em by the door. "Hey big bear," I gave him a hug, having to jump abit to do it properly. "So, I heard your boss has been a prick? Don't worry, he's either got a small dick or hasn't gotten any for a long time. Let's get some whiskey down ya." I climbed down him and grabbed my jacket. "Let's go!"

We took a cab south west to the pub, which was fun with all six of us shoved into the back seat. I asked why we didn't take Rose's car but then she started saying words like 'ignition coil' and 'snapped van belt'. I stopped listening after she said something about the oil being... something.

"Why couldn't we take your car, Bella, there's nothing wrong with it." Rose adjusted herself on Em's lap, the only way for us all to fit in the back – Rose on Em, Alice on Peter and me on Jasper. I wanted Alice to be on my lap but apparently having your brother sitting on your lap is weird.

"My car has had two broken tires for over a month, I'm just leaving it parked outside my apartment. I'll get it fixed when I need my car." We piled out of the cab, walked through the door of the pub and took up our respective seats at the bar. "Hey, Lindsay." Co landlord/head barmaid, trotted up to us with a bottle of Corona, Heineken and glass of wine already in her hands. She placed the Corona in front of me, Heineken with Jasper and the wine with Rose.

"Hi guys, how are you all?" I gave my usual unladylike grunt as the others replied. "Good," Lindsay gave Alice her rum and coke and passed a bottle of... I don't know, it has a horse head on the label.

"Em, what the hell are you drinking?"

"This is Rolling Rock, its really good." He pulled Rose into his chest and whispered something into her ear. She smiled and kissed his cheek, nodding. He grinned like he snorted something. "Anyone want to challenge me to a game of pool?"

"Sure, before I'm too pissed to aim accurately." I grabbed my beer and walked over to the only spare pool table. I reached into my back pocket and found a quarter . "Heads or tails?"

"Tails, of course." I flipped it and let it fall on the table. "I'll break." Em grabbed a cue and chalk. I setted up the balls and grabbed my own cue. "Prepare to lose, Bella banana."

"Please big bear, you won once and that was only cause I was distracted."

"If you're so sure of yourself, why don't we place a wager? Twenty dollars for the winner?" He held out his hand. I smirked and squeezed his hand.

"Might as well give me the money now."

"Ooh, Bella," Jasper joined us at the table and shook his head. "Don't do the talkin', you're not good at it."

"Go before I ram this cue up your ass, though it being you, you'd enjoy it."

"Your wit at its fullest content I see." Jasper took up a seat at a table in the corner with the other two.

"Come on, play ball."

...

"Hello, Bella?" A hand waved in front of my face. I blinked a couple of times and straightened up from bending over the table.

"What? I was taking my shot."

"For five minutes? You've been staring at Alice ass since your go. I know, she has a lovely one but you're not doing well; you're three balls down."

"It's her fault," I bent over the table again, and lined up my shot. "She's wearing those goddamn fucking shorts." I hit my ball for the corner pocket but clipped with Em's last ball and missed the hole. "Ugh! Fucking cue!"

"Don't blame your tools." He bounced the white ball off a cushion to hit his only ball.

"You blame your tool when you can't preform."

"I never get stage fright, I can show you right here on this table."

"I'm pretty sure if you did, Rose would rip off your cock and beat me to death with it. I don't know about you but that's not how I want to go." I potted my ball.

"I want to die under an avalanche of naked women." He got this glazed over look and grinned. "An avalanche of naked Rosie's."

"How... sweet and fucked up, all in the same sentence." I hit the white ball as hard as I could to connect with any of my balls but it chipped one of the cushions and bounced off the table. "Son of a mother fucking bitch!"

"I love it when your competitive side comes out," Alice came up behind me and kissed the back of my neck. "You become so sophisticated."

"The fucking ball is rigged." I turned around and leaned against the table, pouting. She smiled and smoothed out my frown line then pecked my lips.

"It doesn't make sense how Em's only beaten you once."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Alley cat." I turned back to the table and saw there was my two balls and the white ball left; Em potted the black ball. "Jesus tap dancing Christ! Why do I keep losing tonight?"

"Because you suck? That's... sixty dollars." He almost skipped over to me, and held out his hand. I sighed and reached for my wallet and held three twenty bills out of his reach.

"Double or nothing?"

"Nu uh, not again. I'd like to take more money from you but I want to spend some personal time with my Rosie." He plucked the bills from my hand and skipped over to Rose. I groaned and dropped my cue on the table.

"I fucking suck!" I whined. I picked up my beer, fourth of the night, and took some.

"No, you don't." Alice picked up my discarded cue and bend over the table. "You could teach me, I'm sure it'd be fun." My eyes were glued to her ass and all I heard was the blood rushing passed my ears. "Bella... Bella? Bella, for godsake stop staring at my ass." I felt something poke me in the cheek. When I come out of lusty land, I saw Alice holding the cue like a spear. I touched my cheek and blue chalk was left on my fingers.

"Seriously? What the hell, you trying to make me Braveheart?" I pulled up the bottom of my shirt and wiped off the rest of the chalk. I looked up and Alice was shaking her head. "What?"

"Those years of finishing school really paid for themselves." She set the cue back on the table, much more gentle than I did, and then lightly jumped on the table, crossing her legs.

"I never went to finishing school." I pressed myself against her legs and toyed with the hem of her shorts.

"I was being facetious." She slapped my hand away.

"Ooh, facetious, someone's got a new thesaurus." I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. The screen flashed Charlie's name. "I'll be back in a minute." I accepted the call and walked out back. "Hey dad."

"Bella, what's wrong? You left me half a dozen messages." His side cracked and sounded statical.

"You're selling the house?" I sounded more pissed off than I wanted to be.

"I... how do you know?"

"I saw it in a paper. Why are you selling it?"

"I've been transferred t... ion in Salem, Oregon." His phone lost sound half way through. He really needs to get a new phone.

"Oh... uhh congratulations, I guess. Still, why are you selling the house? Why didn't you ask me if I wanted to have it?"

"You never liked being up here, why would you want to live here?"

"I didn't hate it that much... I don't know, it's the house I grew up in; I'd like to keep it around for a few more years." I pulled my jacket tighter around myself as a harsh wind hit me in the side. "Could... could I keep the house? It'd be easier for me to visit you in Salem, I know I haven't visited you for a few years. We can sort out all the paper work when I get down there, I can help you with the moving and everything."

"I'd be hap... he house onto you but, do you really want this ho...?"

"Yea... I want the house?" That's what he said right?

"You don't sound sure."

"No, I do want this house, reception's just bad." I ran my free hand through my hair. "So, I'll come up this week, if that's okay?"

"Yes, I'll see you this week." We hung up and I sagged against the wall, pulling out a crumpled packet of cigarettes. That's the most we've ever talked in one go, I'm sure. I stubbed out my cigarette and walked back into the pub. I'm still pissed that you can't smoke in pubs. I mean, you're already killing your liver by poisoning it why not put lung cancer on top of it?

"Who was that?" Alice asked as I sat down.

"It was Charlie. I'm going to Washington."

**XxX**

***Gasp* Noooooo way. Who didn't see that coming? So... yea... I don't think anything was suppose to happen in this chapter, just another tester I guess.**

**Jasper's line 'Your wit at its fullest content I see' is the word content? It's been driving me insane... extent? Content? One of the two brain cells I rub together has obviously died.**

**Review, fav, alert, and if you have a question then ask away.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Holy shit, what the hell happened to updating a week? I've disappeared for a few weeks but don't blame me, blame my dick of a boss. I asked three days off to go down to London to see some mates, which he said was okay and when I get back I have to work three weeks straight. I'll tell you, going up to London on train is fun as hell. One their was this guy that was so beautiful but not in a girly way if that makes sense, and he was sitting next to this girl who was talking about this bloke called Andy and how much of a dick he was for forgetting their anniversary. I quickly realized that this guy was friendzoned to the fuck. I caught his eyes and glanced at the chick, he did the same and nodded. I nodded in sympathy and then went back to my Angry Birds. The other thing, and holy shit if you're anything like me you'll find this hilarious. I think we were almost to London bridge and went past these flats that had little balconies with them, and on one them was this couple completely naked shagging like they were going for a record. I couldn't help it, I was laughing like I took a hit of something.**

**On the way back was brilliant as well. There were these two girls, 18 - 20ish, and they were talking about mindless bullshit at first then they started talking about Lucas. Lucas was the fiancée of their friend, Alexandria, but he was sleeping with her sister, Cassie who was rumoured to be pregnant with her boyfriend's, Phillip, kid. I couldn't get enough, at the next stop I got up and sat behind them so I could hear better. When they stopped I was so tempted to leaned over and ask what happened next.**

**Sorry bout the poor... writing, I'm still abit hungover, you know that hangover when even your teeth hurt? And Green's computer is still broken, I think.**

**Reposted, did a tiny tweak here and there, mostly Jasper's talking.**

**XxX**

Silent surrounded the table, only the noise from other people and a song on the jukebox stopping some of the awkwardness.

"You're going to Washington?" Alice repeated.

"Yes. Alice that's the fourth time you said that, what aren't you getting?"

"You... you can't go across the country just like that," She clicked her fingers. "You have a life here, a job, friends, and how are you even going to get there? You don't have enough money for a flight and moving your belongings over ten states."

"I'll drive, I said I'd get my car fixed when I need and it seems I now need it." I looked around the rest of the table. "So...? What do you guys think, you've been quiet- wait, where's Jasper?"

"I don't know, I saw him talking to this guy and then he disappeared." Peter was staring at me quite similar to how Alice was, only on a smaller scale. He blew out a breath and rubbed his fingers against his forehead. "Is this what you want?"

"Sure, I love that house, and I-"

"What about Jasper?" Alice interrupted. "He's going to crap out a golden brick when he finds out you're leaving him."

"Leaving him? You're making it sound like I'm dumping him and running away with a Swedish model." She frowned. "I couldn't think of another example." I took the last drops out of my beer. "Look, Jasper's going to be fine. He's got you guys and it's not like his whole life revolves around me. I'll quit my job, Jasper'll take care of the apartment, I'll get my car fixed, have the stuff I can't fit in the car delivered and that's it."

"I think it's stupid," Rose finally voiced her opinion.

"Of course you do. You think all my decisions are stupid." I bit out defensively. "God forbid someone think differently to your views."

"That's rich coming from you."

"What the hell's that meant to mean?" I slowly stood up from my chair,already feeling the muscle in the back of my neck twitching in anger. Rose copied my action, placing her hands on the table.

"You know what that means, you could give Stalin a run for his money." The muscle in my neck was pretty much having an epileptic fit at this point.

"That is fucking it, blondie." I pushed out my chair, Rose already walking towards me.

"Whoa, easy now girls." Em and Peter stood up, Em quickly restraining Rose to his side as Peter did the same to me. "Calm down, we don't want a brawl to start."

"He's right," Peter moved his chair so it was next to mine and sat us both down, still holding my forearm. "Bella, will moving to Washington make you happy?"

"I don't know." I slumped in my chair, the anger going away quickly.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Rose's fur went up again. "If you don't know then you don't want to go."

"Can't I keep one thing of my childhood? For fuck sake, I'd like to have at least one solid thing from that period. Wasn't exactly fun bouncing from Charlie's to Renee's every other year. Especially since Renee seemed to live in a different state each time I came back. I didn't even know where the fuck Indiana was til I lived there."

"Nostalgia, that's your reason?"

"Rose, why are you being such a bitch about this? I thought you'd be more than happy to see me go, help me pack to get rid of me quicker."

"I don't hate you, Bella, you annoy me more than anyone I've ever met but I don't hate you."

"Ah, glad we cleared that up," I finished the last drops of my beer and pried Peter's fingers off my arm. "Listen, I'm going to Washington and that's final. I think I can control my own life." Everyone looked at me. "Okay, half control my life. I'll be fine, don't worry."

"Hmm," Peter drummed his fingers on the table. "This has put a dampener on the night."

"Yea, I'm sorry mate," I bumped my shoulder with his. "Come on, we're here to celebrate your safe return."

"We are?" Alice asked. "I thought we were hear for Emmett."

"It's a mixture; for Em to relax after a day with a dickhead and for Peter for coming home." I stood up and collected everyone's glasses. "I'm buying this round and the rest of solider boy's drinks."

...

The sun hit my face and woke me up. I groaned and threw my arm over my eyes. My hangover made itself known and started playing a war drum as loud as it could. I turned my head into the sunlight, which hurt like a fucker, when I felt an arm fall over my stomach and saw a naked and asleep Alice on her side. I smiled slightly before rolling away from the sunlight and came face to face with a pretty pissed off homo.

"You're movin' to Washington?" He more or less shouted. I shush him and glanced at Alice. I gently removed her arm from me and moved off the bed. "Whoa," He snapped his head to the side, closing his eyes. I looked down myself and saw I was naked as well. I grabbed an old shirt that has probably been on the floor for more than a month and held it in front of me.

"Okay, you're safe."

"Ugh. Put some clothes on and meet me in the kitchen." He left my room, without closing the door behind him. I sighed and slipped the shirt over my head, and after some searching, found a threadbare boyshorts. I closed the door behind me as I joined Jasper at the kitchen table. "Bella, can you explain to me why I had a text from Rose this mornin' sayin' you were leavin' for Washington?"

"Because... its true?" I hesitatingly took the seat opposite him.

"Can you explain to me why, first, you're goin' to Washington, and second, why I had to hear it second from Rose."

"Can you stop saying explain to me why? You're sounding like this is an interview or an interrogation." I stood up and grabbed a cup of warmish coffee. "I didn't tell you cause you went off to get laid, and I'm moving cause Charlie's got transferred to a station in Oregon so I'm keeping his house."

Jasper blinked a few times and looked at the table. "I.." He looked back at me. "I don't see how him movin' makes you live in his house at the other end of the country."

"I don't want to explain it all again," I sighed. "Bottom line, nostalgia and want to keep something from my childhood. Huh, that's pretty much it. Look, I know this probably doesn't make any sen-" A door opening cut me short. This six foot something, dark skinned, long black haired, that was a little on the messy side, man that I wouldn't mind licking, blushed a few shades red as he spotted me sitting in the kitchen. I felt my eyes skid over to Jasper before going back to sexy native.

"Oh, uh... I didn't think anyone else would be awake." He kept his eyes on the floor as he shifted from foot to foot. "I... should be on my way."

"No, no," I kicked Jasper as gently as I could under the table, making him jump. "At least have some coffee before you go, it's the least Jasper can do for you." Since I know he's the catcher in the relationship.

"No, really you don't have to. I have a plane to catch anyway." He pulled on his last shoe. "Thank you for the offer and thank you Jasper for... that." He placed his hand at the edge of the table near Jasper's, glancing at me while Jasper glared. I turned around and pretended to be busy grabbing food for breakfast from the fridge. "Thank you, I had great fun last night," I heard him kiss Jasper and open the door. "Goodbye."

"Yea, you too." I pulled my head out of the fridge and gave him a nod. I couldn't keep the grin off my face when native left. "So... your hunting paid off."

"We're not talkin' bout me, we're talkin' bout this decision of yours. Will... will this make you happy?"

"Peter said the same thing last night and I said I didn't know. I'll be away from all my friends and I actually like it here but I don't want to lose that house. Its really nice and pretty much in the middle of the forest, awhile away from the town. And you know what? I love New York, I really do but I wouldn't mind getting away from everything that comes with it; noise, the fast pace, that I can't get a taxi unless I jump in front of the mother fucking thing. I would like some peace and... stillness, for at least some time."

Jasper nodded, and after that didn't do anything for awhile. He finally stood up and hugged me. Okay... what the fucks happening? "When are you leavin'?"

"Uhh... this week, maybe early next."

"Okay," He kissed my cheek and straightened up. "I should start now then." He disappeared off to his bedroom and I was left trying to connect the dots.

"What?" I stood up and followed him, finding him putting his CDs and books – mostly Civil war stuff – in a box. Get this, his great great grandfather, William Whitlock, was the youngest Major in the history of America, and said to be one of the best. He was captured by the Union and then executed by firing squad but still, youngest Major. "You're packing? Wait, you're coming with me?"

"Of course, you're not the only person that's allowed to be impulsive. Also, I have to keep you focused, knowin' yourself you'll be distracted half way there and end up in Vegas, or go the wrong way and end up in Mexico."

"Oh, come on. Like I could mix up South and West." I pointed to his window where West was.

"Actually," Jasper moved my hand so it pointed towards his door. "That's West."

"Oh for fuck sake, like it matters. Look, you don't have to come with me and keep an eye on me. You love New York, and wouldn't want to live in the middle of nowhere." I picked up

"Bella," He dropped his copy of Leaves of Grass and touched my shoulder. "I'm goin' with you, and nothin' you say will change my mind."

"Well... okay, I'm not in charge of your life." I left and sat down at the table, drinking the rest of my now cold as fuck coffee.

"Jazz's coming with you, I see." Alice came from the bathroom, fully clothed and sat down in Jasper's seat in front of me.

"You heard that?"

"You weren't bothering to be quiet and these walls are thin." She traced the grain in the table with her nails, looking thoughtful. "I can't understand why you're moving. Why didn't you tell me you were tired of New York instead of giving us that nostalgia lie last night? Or was what you told Jazz a lie?"

"Neither was a lie. I just want to live somewhere new for awhile." I got up, put my empty mug in the sink and grabbed a bowl and the nearly finished box of Reese's puffs. "And I don't want Jasper to come with me. I feel like he's only coming with me to keep an eye on me. He'll realize his mistake in two weeks, at the very most, and come back."

"No I won't." Jasper came out, a box already packed in his arms. "I'm comin' because I want to, not because I feel obligated." He setted it down next to the couch. "I'll sort out all the papers and moving vans since I know you don't handle the small but important details."

"Yea, yea, I know, I suck at documents." I ate a spoonful of Reese's. "So, I was thinking that we should have a goodbye thing for us, some booze, maybe some food but mostly booze."

"Sure," Alice answered since Jasper was walking back to his room, his phone to his ear. "I'll call Rose, Emmett and Peter, you want to call anyone else?"

"I'll see if Toby can take a day off work. Everyone else I know and like are either at university or living somewhere else." I took my empty bowl to the sink then leaned against it. "So, Jasper found a chew toy last night."

"I'm not surprised," She looked at me over the rim of her mug of tea. Apparently coffee tastes like, I quote 'dirt mixed with acid'. "I saw him talking to some tall man for most of the night before they left."

"I feel like I know him, his face seemed really familiar... I know I didn't shag him."

"Are you sure? You might've been the one who turned him."

"Please," I flicked my wrist at her. Jasper's rubbing off on me. "I only turn men straight and women to the dark side. It's not their fault; I'm pretty fucking incredible."

"And your modesty is one of the many attributes that make you incredible." Jasper wandered back out of his room, box packed and taped up. "I've called the landlord and he said that we're allowed to sublet our apartment." I shot him a confused look. "I thought it'd be nice to have an extra cash flow, I'm positive there's not a lot of job offers where we're goin'."

"Jasper, stop. I know you don't want to come with me, and the speed you're packing is freaking me out slightly; we're not going tomorrow, hell maybe not even this week."

"You know I like things ready, and stop tryin' to talk me out of it, I'm goin' because I want to and that's final."

That night, I don't fuck around when it comes to a party big or small, everyone came round our apartment since it was the one that had the most floor space. That and an almost unlimited supply of booze. Two cases of Rolling Rock and Heineken, a case of Brothers, a bottle of Wine, Tequila, Jack Daniels, Rum and a bottle of Diet Coke were laid out on the counter. To put it lightly, we were going to get fucked tonight. I was already on my second bottle of the night and it wasn't even ten yet. Toby couldn't come since when I called him he was in Utah at a tattoo expo. Peter and Em were play fighting in living, Peter obviously winning since he knows how to fight, Jasper and Alice sitting at the table talking to each other while Rose was mixing drinks, surprisingly very good at it. Me? I was sitting on the window sill, slowly drinking my body weight in liquid. It's funny how even when I'm with people, I like no less, I'm still able to detach myself from them and be on my own. It's almost impressive. I rested my forehead on the window and sighed, fogging up the glass. I wiped a small circle so I could see into another window.

"Hey, look. That naked dude is doing star jumps." It's probably unhealthy but ever since this guy's moved into the apartment across from us, it's almost like having another channel.

"Bella, you have to stop," Jasper stopped his conversation with Alice and looked through the window with me. "Peepin' is illegal after all."

"No its not. It's frowned upon, like counting cards in Vegas, or fucking your cousin in the South." Jasper narrowed his eyes. "Don't give me that look, you're not a Southerner."

"Of course I am, born and raised in Texas, the capital of the South." He defended.

"Yea, but not a true Southerner. You don't sleep with your cousins which doesn't make you a true Southerner." I reasoned. Jasper huffed and left. I smiled and turned back to the window.

"You shouldn't stereotype," Alice came over and sat down next to me. "And I believe peeping is illegal."

"The stereotypes had to have come from somewhere." I breathed on the glass and drew a smiley face. A crash followed by curses bounced off the walls. I turned and saw Em sprawled on the floor, table knocked over and lamp in pieces. I sighed. "Why the fuck does something have to break whenever you two are together?"

"It was his fault," Em got up, pointing at Peter. "He flipped me on my back."

"Really?" That was no small feat since Em was roughly 170lbs of muscle and meat. "Wow, well done Peter." He did a small bow and then started picking up the broken pieces. "You don't have to do that Peter, I'll do it tomorrow. Just put it into a pile."

"Thank god Jasper lives with you. I could only imagine the state we'd find you in." Rose said. She setted five drinks down on the table, probably filled to the brim with alcohol. "This ones called a Battering Ram, it has vodka, tequila and Red Bull but no lime juice since you don't have any. Tiger's milk; Rum, I used the last of your Brandy," We had Brandy? "Milk and two spoons of sugar. Fire on Ice, vodka and cider, and a Phillips screwdriver which has vodka and orange juice." I was in slight awe.

"You're my personal bartender now," I picked up the orangey Battering Ram and took a sip. "How did you learn all this?"

"College. Studying wasn't the only thing I did."

A few more of Rose's godlike drinks and we were all pretty pissed, and playing I Never didn't help.

"I've never... had sex in a tree." Em tripped over a couple of his words. Me and Peter took a drink. We glanced at each other then looked away. "No way! When did that happen?"

"Remember that camping trip? It just kinda happened."

"But in a tree? Not against, in, as in up."

"We may have been drunk." Peter toyed with his bottle. "Don't judge us, you and Rose have done things far worse."

"My turn," Alice looked thoughtful. "I've never been handcuffed." Me, Rose and Jasper drank.

"Please don't tell me that was with my brother as well," Jasper more or less begged, though it sounded abit weird with the drunk mixing with his usual accent. "I've never had... never been cheated on." Only I took a drink. Well, if that doesn't make me feel loved. "We've got to find somethin' you haven't done."

"I know something she's never done," Peter grinned at me. "Or I hope. I've never shaved my balls." Jasper drank.

"What counts as shaved? Plucked chicken or trimmed?" Em had his bottle halfway to his lips.

"Trimmed." Em took a big swig.

"I've never kissed in the rain, mostly because that shit only happens in The Notebook." Everyone drank. "Fucking seriously?"

"It's not our fault you're a non romantic," Alice smiled across at me. "It's very innocent of you, I would of thought you'd pick something to do with leather or whips."

"Not my thing. The rest of the world maybe turning to that S&M, fifty shades of black bullshit but I'm sticking to the occasional handcuffs."

Peter was the first to go, slumping on the table passed out after _I've never been in a threesome. _After that our endurances ran out quickly. Em and Rose somehow was able to fit on the couch together where they passed out, Jasper somehow made it to his bed and I'm sure Alice had to half drag me to bed, which I was only able to be half on before I passed out.

**XxX**

**Has anything actually happened in this chapter?**

**Before I forget, has anyone watched the X files? My mate Jason, he's like a human version of Tivo and gets me to watch all these things, said I would like it. I know what it's about but would it make me laugh? Like... effects, is it guys in rubber suits cause if so I'll laugh and won't be able to take it seriously.**

**Review!... Seriously review I need some love. Oh and thanks loads Turknac for the great answer to my dream question, and A guess... that's probably one of the best reviews I've gotten. It made me laugh for like five minutes.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm going to America! Yes, I'm going to Yankeeland probably next week and driving down route 66. Its probably unoriginal but one, I've always wanted to do this trip and two, it's practise for driving on the right side of the road for when I do the big across America trip I'm planning to do in a years time. This is one of the reasons I haven't updated for awhile, that and I got next to no reviews for my last chapter, so my motivation slipped into a coma. Oh, and I took Jason's advice and started watching the X files... Jason really is a human version of Tivo, I fucking love it. Honestly, in the span of three days I've gotten through two seasons, thank god I don't have work at the moment.**

**No beta.**

**XxX**

_8 days later._

"You've packed everythin', yes? No laptops sitting' on the kitchen counter or wallet in the bathroom?" I shot Jasper a weird look. "I'm only askin'."

"Trust me, none of my things are in weird places. Laptop in my suitcase along with my DVDs, CDs and books. Clothes in the trash bag, furniture in the moving vans and," I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket. "Got my wallet." I shut the trunk, taking some tries since it was almost to the brim with boxes. "Well... guess we're all ready." I was thrown back onto the cars trunk as Alice attached herself to me, her legs wrapped so tightly I'm sure I could feel my liver pressed against my spleen. "Didn't know I was liked that much." I cupped her ass and hitched her up further.

"Shut up, I'm still angry that you're going." I felt through my shirt her kissing my shoulder.

"Yea, I can feel the hatred rolling off you in waves." I gave her a squeeze before setting her back on the ground. "Peter," I hugged him around the neck and rested my cheek against his. "Call me the next time you go into battle so I can help Jasper pin you down and stop you going."

"I promise," He chuckled. I kissed his cheek then glanced at Em. "Bear man," I punched him in the shoulder. He grinned and ruffled my hair. I came full circle and stood in front of Rose. "We going to end things on a good note or bitch fight?" Rose looked anywhere but me before turning her eyes to me. She took a step forward and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I did the same and felt her nails lightly dig into my shoulder blade. I chuckled and returned the favour. It might seem weird but it was our sign that everything was okay between us. We loved hating each other, or hated loving each other, depends how you look at it.

"Finished the tearful goodbyes?" Jasper was leaning against the open passenger door. "Thanks everyone for helpin' us load the boxes and furniture in the trucks." I gave Alice one last kiss before joining Jasper in the car. "Okay, where the hell am I going?"

"Go to Canal Street then turn right for Holland tunnel, afterwards go onto NJ-139 W until you arrive at US.1 Truck then exit towards I-280."

"Whoa, one step at a time." I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out my cigarette packet. Jasper knocked the packet out of my hand. "That's not a fun game."

"You're not smokin' in the car."

"You expect me to spend over eight hours in a car with you and not have one smoke? Are you high?"

"You can smoke when we stop for gas," I was going to say some smart ass comment but Jasper put his hand over my mouth. "Don't even think about sayin' anythin', you know what I mean. When we stop for gas and food, you can smoke."

Eight hours later, we crossed New Jersey, Pennsylvania and stopped at Cleveland for gas, food and a bathroom break. I was leaning against the car, filling it up with gas while Jasper using the bathroom when some guy with a small Mohawk with Chinese calligraphy down his bicep, came up to me. He let out a low whistle and then started eye fucking my car.

"Nice car. What she got, a V8?"

"Yea, sure, why not?" Fucks if I know. I bought the stag from a guy that was going to have it destroyed cause the insiders were next to dead. Thank god for Rose and Mikey cause between them two it was running like new. Mohawk guy turned his eyes to me and started eye fucking _me_. What is wrong with men, do they really think that's hot?

"And what you got, baby?" He placed his hand on my car and gave me one of the most prevy grins I've come across. I put my hands behind my back and quickly slipped my thumb ring off and put it on my left ring finger. I held it up and smiled.

"A husband." Jasper was coming out and walking towards the car.

"Pity for me, but do you think he's man enough for you?"

"I think he's more than enough. Hey baby," I slipped my arms around Jasper's waist and kissed his cheek. "You ready to hit the road?" Jasper nodded, playing along, and slipped in the passenger side door. "Well, it was great talking to you, and if you ever lay a hand on my car again I'll happily run you over with it." I smiled and walked into the gas station, paid and returned to the car, Mohawk guy gone.

"That's the fourth time I've played the role of your husband, is there somethin' you've been meanin' to tell me?" Jasper teased.

"Yes," I sighed, turning to Jasper and placing my hand on his. "I've been in love with you for years, the first time we met actually. When our eyes met across that crowded room, I knew we were meant to be." I leaned towards him, perusing my lips.

"First of all, we met in first period English when you crushed my foot with yours and called me clown feet, and also, I'm gayer than a Barney's Christmas sale."

"Gay? But... how? What will we tell the children?" I clutched my hands to my chest, dramatically.

"I... what? Are you havin' your stroke in instalments?"

"I couldn't afford to have it in one go." I defended.

"Start drivin', you insane creature. You're addin' reasons to my long list of why I don't sleep with women." Jasper reached behind his seat and pulled out an old copy of Empire. "Take interstate 80 until you arrive at Chicago."

"Yea, we're all insane. That and you think women have teeth down there." I pulled out of the gas station when the car behind us blasted his horn. "What's after Chicago?"

"Nothing until tomorrow; we're stayin' for the night."

"What?" I said, incredulously.

"We're goin' through Chicago and you expect us not to stop? When will we ever get the chance again?"

I sighed and stopped at a toll booth. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you planned the route so we'd have to drive through Chicago." I gave the poor bastard in the booth my money and drove through.

"The route we're on is the shortest one I could find, drivin' into Chicago is just a happy bonus."

"Sure, why the hell not? I heard River North is one of the best places to go in Chicago for bars and clubs."

We were at another toll booth when I reached under my seat for my cigarettes Jasper knocked out of my hand. I reached into my jacket, that was in the back seat, for my lighter and ignited my cigarette.

"Hey, what did I say about smokin' in the car?" Jasper was ready to yank the cigarette out of my mouth, but I quickly removed it and held it against the window.

"You wouldn't let me smoke when we were at that gas station cause apparently it's dangerous to smoke while filling a car with gas." I rolled down the window and rested the end of the cigarette on the rim of the window. "How about this? It shouldn't effect you at all."

Jasper sighed and reread a Keira Knightly interview. "I don't know why I bother."

...

Under six hours later we arrived in Chicago and went straight to River North. We started slow with our first stop at a bar and grill, but of course it quickly accelerated. I'm sure we visited every bar we could come across and some clubs. Through some of the blur of drunkenness, we found ourselves outside the Chicago museum of Art. Apparently its closed at 12:37 at night. We shared the biggest pizza we'd ever seen, seriously it the size of our heads, and weighted half our body weights. Jasper slurred at me in front of our latest spot, saying we should go to Boystown. I joked it sounded like a gay club. I was close; it was a gay district, and probably one of the best places I've been for awhile. Again, we went to every bar, club, and anything else with alcohol in it, in the district.

I made out with at least three chicks, four guys, and I think Jasper. So, I've probably got herpes but fuck it, I've had a good night. The end of the night wasn't the best. We hit one last bar before finding a hotel to sleep in, where Jasper found a guy to destroy said room with. He must have been really drunk since he's not one for one nighters. The three of us found a hotel to check into but apparently there was only one room available and I wasn't going to share a room with them two. So I spend the night in my car, which I'm sure when I wake up will piss me off.

**XxX**

**Short I know, but my motivation is still touch and go. I might expand on it later.**

**Oh, and if I haven't updated on this for awhile check my other story cause I might have updated on that instead. Seem to be switching between those two when writer's block attacks.**

**Review, alert, suggestions.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Wow, now that was fun. Whoever said once the travel bug bites there is no known antidote, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life, was not lying. I feel so much better now. I don't want to sound like I know the world and all its secrets because I travelled 2000 miles, but I really do feel better, lighter even. I've never left England and I've always wanted to travel, so going to America was a good jumping off point. Next stop, Scandinavia.**

**Thank you everyone for reviewing, favouring, alerting and just sticking with this story. I know it's been a hell of a ordeal.**

**XxX**

I was right.

I woke up with my cheek pressed against the back seat window, my foot pressed against the other one and the other leg on the floor. I had pains in my neck, legs, back, all over pretty much, but the worst being the pounding in my head and teeth. A knock on the window vibrated through my cheek. I turned towards the window, my eyes taking a moment to adjust, and saw Jasper grinning down at me. Why the hell doesn't he look half dead? He opened the drivers' door and sat in the seat.

"This could be a stupid question but what are you doin' sleepin' in the car?"

"Uhh... I think there were no rooms left." I sat up, many joints clicking, and shield my eyes from the sun.

"Again, why did you sleep in the car? There's more than one hotel in Chicago." I groaned and covered my eyes. Why didn't I think of that? "And, even though I'm against it, you could have found someone to go home with." I groaned again. "I'm summarizin' from your reaction, you didn't think of these options."

"Of course I didn't. You know my logical thinking fucks off when I'm drunk, like I had much to start with." I rested my head against the headrest and closed my eyes. "How come you don't look like someone's hit you with a shovel and left you for dead?"

"Because I've had coffee, breakfast, and a shower," I felt him move my hair behind my ear. "And you need all three."

I smiled and cracked an eye open. "You might as well say I look and smell like I spent the night under an overpass with the rest of the hobos."

"I'm too nice to say that. Come on, I'll buy you breakfast before we start drivin' again." Jasper exited the car and pulled the chair forward. I reached under the passenger seat where I last saw my glasses. I slid them over my face and stepped out into the sunny outside. "With those glasses you look like you're goin' to take a hit on somebody."

"Don't tempt me, homo." Jasper lead me to a café, Ann Sather, and bought me a strong coffee, a Swedish pancake and a cinnamon roll.

"So..." Jasper toyed with his own coffee. "You had fun last night. I'm still surprised you didn't sleep at someone's house, you kissed enough."

I groaned and leaned back into the booth. "What the hell was that last night? What was I drinking to make me so... friendly?"

"I don't know but whatever it was, was makin' you more of a people person than you usually are." He smiled, finishing his coffee. "Are you okay to drive? I can do it for you today."

"Yea, I think that's a good idea." I reached into my pocket and slid the keys across to him. "Has anyone back home talked to you?"

"I've had a few from Pete and Rose, you?" He left a couple of ten bills on the table then lead me out of the café to the car.

"Maybe, I don't know, I turned my phone off two states back." I slid into the passenger seat, and watched as Jasper tried to wedge himself into the driver seat.

"God, your legs are short," He was able to get in enough to slide the chair back a few spaces back. "Didn't you think of chargin' it before we left?"

"Of course I did, but its an iPhone, it has the worst battery lifetime I've ever come across." I groped myself for my phone and turned it on. Two voice mails and four text messages. The first was from Charlie, him telling me he'd gotten an earlier flight and where he'd left the keys to the house. The other one was from my boss, ex really, telling me I was three days late for work and that I was fired. "Ah, shit," I cut the call off and opened my texts. "I knew I had to do something."

"Whatever you forgot is staying there. We can't exactly turn around to pick it up." Jasper stopped at a traffic light.

"Don't worry, we don't have to go back. I forgot to quit my job. I'm three days late and Martin is pretty pissed."

"You... you _forgot _to quit your job? Who forgets to quit their job? It was the only thing you really had to do."

"Yea, yea, I know." I slouched lower in my seat and rested my feet on the dashboard. "I didn't get the best night sleep last night, wake me when we rest the next big city."

"Sure. Sleep well drunky."

"Night, homo."

I woke up roughly seven hours later as Jasper was driving into Minneapolis. Jasper pulled up in a gas station and got out the car. He asked if I wanted anything and I think I grunted out an answer. He came back and wedged a bottle of Red Bull between my thighs. I muttered a thanks before going back to sleep. It was after midnight when I woke up again, now warm Red Bull still between my thighs, and Jasper looking almost asleep at the wheel.

"Jasper, pull over before you kill us." I sat up and got out the car, waiting for Jasper to adjust the seat into a makeshift bed before continuing on the road. Luckily, I found the map Jasper must have used to sort out our trip, the route we're on highlighted. I guess the gays really are organized. The sky started to lighten around five in the morning, the roads deserted and everything was peaceful. During the night, I stopped for a bathroom break and bought what I'm pretty were expired Red Vines. It was 5:25 when Jasper started to stir. He yawned and stretched, his sleepy eyes looking at me.

"You're still drivin'?" He looked at the clock in the dash. "It's five in the mornin'."

"I know. I'm fine; I more or less slept through the whole day and I've had a Red Bull, I'm fine."

"No. The next town we go through, we find a hotel." He put his seat in the upright position.

"I think I prefer you when you're asleep," I sighed. "I could smoke without you bitching." We drove into a small town called Billings, found a motel which looked like it'd seen better days and after some time fell asleep in the double bed with Jasper.

Jasper woke me up at eleven, saying we had to check out before twelve. We left to find a place to eat, finding an IHOP a couple blocks away from the motel. We slid into a booth and skimmed through the menu. "What are you getting?" Jasper asked as he looked through the menu. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh I don't know, maybe some kung pow chicken since we're in a pancake place." I heard a giggle from my right and saw a cute little brunette that didn't look more than seventeen, though I'm shit at guessing people's ages.

"You're funny. Hi, my name is Annie and I'll be your waitress this morning. What can I get you two?" She pulled out a pad and a pen from her back pocket and looked at me expectantly.

I smiled at her and saw a light pink come to her cheeks. "I'll have that Cinn a stack pancake and some coffee." She wrote down my order.

"And for you?" She glanced at Jasper before turning her eyes to the pad in front of her.

"I'll have a fruit salad and a glass of OJ, thanks." She wrote it down and said the food would be here soon before turning on her heels and walking away. Jasper let out a low whistle and grinned at me. "Well... seems to me she's taken a shine to you, Bella."

I scoffed and slapped my menu on his head. "Don't talk stupid. Just because you're always horny doesn't mean everyone else is." He cleared his throat and gestured to me. "Okay, so I'm not the best example but it's true."

"I saw the blush when you smiled at her." I made some comment that I don't think made sense and soon we were bickering. We quieted down when Annie came back with both our food and drinks on a tray.

"A Cinn a stack pancake for you and a fruit salad for you, and here are your drinks." She placed the plates and our drinks in front of us then stepped back. "Is there anything else I can get you guys?" Her eyes darted between us.

"No thanks, Annie." I smiled and cut into my pancakes. She looked down at her shoes and blushed. She muttered something before she hurried off somewhere. As soon as she was out of ear shot, Jasper chuckled.

"No thanks Annie, but I wouldn't mind having your thighs for dessert." He did a piss poor impression of me.

"Lovely Whitlock, that Southern charmer is really shining through. You say something like that again and I'll throw my coffee at you." I smiled and took a bite out of my food. Jasper was poking at his fruit thing while looking at me. "What?" He shook his head and started eating his breakfast. "I cannot believe you ordered fruit at a pancake place. That's just not right."

"Just because you go to a restaurant that has a favour of food, doesn't mean you have order it. Remember we all went to the Chinese restaurant and all you ate were pawn crackers."

"I wasn't hungry. Besides it's just wrong that you don't order even a little pancake. It's like... not bowing before the emperor of China, it's rude and it is mandatory to do so."

"Bella, we are talkin' about an IHOP in the middle of Montana not visitin' the emperor of China." He said slowly, as if talking to a five-year old.

"Still, it's the same thing," I huffed. "A fucking fruit salad." I muttered as I took another bite.

"Oh hush, you're not makin' any sense. Lets hurry up, we need to get back to the road if you want to finish this trip today."

"Yes sir, homo." I mock saluted him and hastily ate. We finished our food and Annie came round to collect the plates, leaving the check. I paid and grabbed the receipt Annie gave me and walked back to the car. We were going through a town called Bozeman when Jasper laughed suddenly.

"What?" I asked. I hadn't heard him laugh that hard since Christmas three years ago when we shaved all of Peter's body hair when he passed out.. Instead of answering he shoved the receipt from the IHOP in my face. "Again what?"

"Just look at the back." I took it from his hand, annoyed, and looked at the back of the piece of paper. What I saw surprised me. At the top written in neat, curly, writing was Annie's phone number, her name and a kiss at the end.

"Huh... well look at that," I quickly looked up at the road before we crashed into the car in front of us. "I'm sure it was for you Jasper."

"Oh no, no, she didn't want any of this magnificent southern charmer. This is yours." He tucked the paper into my bra cup and patted it. I raised my eyebrows at him. "I'm gay it means nothin'."

"Whatever you say homo."

"Oh my god, I just got to second base." Jasper gasped. I rolled my eyes. He's acting like it's the first time he's groped me.

"Maybe the mountain air will do you some good. Get you away from the exhaust fumes of New York and, you know, make you not annoying as hell."

Hours later, we were getting closer to the Washington border and my feelings were turning more and more murderous.

"Six hundred and forty-four bottles of beer on the wall, six hundred and forty-four bottles of beer." Five and a half fucking hours. I was ready to kill Jasper and leave him in a ditch somewhere. I felt my grip on the steering wheel reach almost breaking point.

"Jasper, I'm going to say this only once; if you continue with that annoying as fuck song, I'm going to beat you so badly no one will be able to identify the body."

"Ooh, that's dark, even for you." He teased. He knows I don't follow through with my threats unless I really hate the bastard, and he uses that to his full advantage.

"No, it really isn't, I could have gone much more darker." We drove further West, fighting and bickering every other forty miles until Jasper fell asleep around eleven when I pulled into a gas stop in Kennewick. I bought a pack of Red Bull and gum to keep myself entertained.

We arrived at the house in Forks at 6:39, the sun quickly making its way high up in the sky, the smell of fresh air coming from the open window mixing with that smell that comes from Red Bull. I braked a little too harshly in front of the house, causing Jasper to jerk forward, awake, and hit his head on the dash.

"Shit. Sorry homo." I took the keys out of the ignition and pulled Jasper's head up, not surprised if it knocked him out. There was no blood but I'm sure it was going to leave a hell of a bruise. "You're fine." I patted his head and got out of the car to open the trunk. "Wake up, princess. You're not going back to sleep til you've brought your crap into the house." I picked up one of the two boxes marked stuff and hauled it to the house, finding the key Charlie left under a rock on the porch. The first impression I got from the house was log cabin and the inside lived up to it.

Wood, everywhere. Wooden walls, wooden ceiling beams, wooden staircase, but stone fireplace and floors. I dropped the box in the middle of the room and walked into the kitchen. It had the same theme as the living room; wooden, or rustic as Jasper would call it.

"Have you slept in the last twenty-four hours?" Jasper stood in the middle of the living room, two of his boxes next to mine.

"No, but I'm okay." I went back to the car and grabbed my bag filled with clothes and the other filled with DVDs, CDs and my laptop. I dropped them on the floor next to the boxes, though a bit more gently, and sat on the bag filled with clothes as a makeshift chair. "So, what do you think?"

"I like it more than I thought I would." Jasper sat down on the floor next to me. His forehead sported a growing lump. "I think you should get to bed," I raised my eyebrows at him. "Forget about that. Do you know when the trucks are comin'?"

"Probably later today, maybe tomorrow." We brought in the rest of the boxes, setting up the kitchen and our rooms as best we could.

It was around seven at night when the delivery guy – Bobby – turned up with all the furniture. After the lovely New York service, which was dumping all the furniture in the living room and fucking off with my money, we heaved both the mattresses up the stairs and to each of our rooms along with everything else. You wouldn't believe how much fucking fun it is to shift a bedstead up some stairs while deprived of sleep. Note the sarcasm.

I laid on my unmade bed, resting after moving everything and finishing up my room with what little I had. Jasper came bursting in like the gay version of kool-aid and jumped on my bed.

"What's there to do in the great city of Forks?" He seemed unusually enthusiastic.

"I think city is stretching it a bit. Uhh... fishing, hunting, camping, marrying your cousin. No, wait, you have to be in the South for that." Jasper didn't seem impressed by the last comment. "Oh, I'm joking. Don't be so sensitive. But yea, this place is outdoorsy." I reached over to the bedside table and toyed with the magic eight ball I got for Christmas.

"What 'bout night life?" He stood up and took a lap of inspection of my room.

"There's a bar in La Push but other than that you'll have to go to Port Angeles. Same with shopping before you ask." He looked put out by the information. "You should of done some research before you committed to coming with me." I smirked. He picked up a book from the stack on the floor, haven't completely finished my room, and flicked through it. "There's something else you want to ask me. The real reason you came into my room."

"Since when could you read minds and interpret behaviour?"

"Since I've known the bastard for more years than I'd like to count." I moved further up the bed til I rested my back against the wall.

"Okay," He put down Animal Farm and then sat on the edge of my bed. "Are you happy with your decision?"

I groaned. Not this again. "How many times... Yes, I'm happy with my decision."

"I'm only concerned. I've been wonderin' if this sudden urge to move is rooted in your feelin's of not bein' fulfilled. That you weren't happy with your life in New York, so you thought that by movin' to another place, another state, you'd find happiness that you couldn't find in New York."

"Well, damn," I replaced the magic ball with a cigarette that I lit. "Look at Dr. Freud. I just wanted a change of scenery. Maybe you're right, maybe deep down and subconsciously I did move because I wasn't happy but mainly I moved because I wanted to."

"Okay, I believe you. I only want you to be happy." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead.

"I know." I smiled and held one of his hands. "That's one of the reasons I keep you around; you're like my caddy/adviser. You give me advice, tell me the hazards up ahead and try to keep me out of most trouble. You're the perfect best friend."

"And you... you're fun." I let go of his hand and hit him on the chest. "You haven't slept in over twenty-four hours, and I believe as your caddy/adviser you should rest."

I took Jasper's advice and slept through til the sun rose the next morning.

**XxX**

**In response to JJ, I don't update in bulks to the last chapter I was at before this was taken down because I've rewritten these chapters, sometimes taking pieces from the old chapters but mostly these are newly written.**

**Review if you want.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Tired as hell, so I'm positive there's more errors than usual. Sorry.**

**XxX**

When I came downstairs the next morning, the house looked like we'd lived here for months, maybe even a year, instead of less than a day. The one couch we had was pushed up against a wall under a window, the Chinese coffee table Jasper insisted on getting, was in front of it, the TV in front of that, and the worn out armchair placed facing the fireplace. Even my inflatable chair was blown next to the table.

"How long have I been asleep?" I walked into the kitchen, table in the middle of the room, coffee maker, kettle, toaster and microwave set up on different counters.

"Mornin'," Jasper kissed my cheek before going back to the hissing frying pan. "I'd say near twelve hours."

"And what, in the night you turned into a Martha Stewart, Wonder Woman hybrid?" I sat down at the table.

"That title will work," He turned around with a plate full of hash browns, bacon, and scrabbled eggs. He really looks out for your health.

"That furry rug at the bottom of the stairs, have we always had that?"

"Yes, the rug used to be under the coffee table. You never noticed?" He sat down with his own plate and a glass of OJ. "It's almost frightenin' what you don't noticed. Then again, it's almost frightenin' of the things you do notice."

"Yea, I pick and choose my moments." I ate half my food then left the rest.

"I think you should have a shower." Jasper picked up my plate and his and left them next to the sink. "You smell... off."

"I'm sorry your majesty, but it's been hard to come across a working shower in the motels we've stayed in, which by the way, are the places you go to either die or bring your hooker. That and I haven't really left a car in three days."

"You're not in a car anymore nor does this house have a broken shower, as far as I know, so I believe it's time for you to wash up."

"Do you have to sound smart when you prove me wrong?" I sighed, getting up.

"It's not hard to prove you wrong and I only sound smart because I paid attention in school."

"Oh, yea, take a hit on my intelligence, it's the easiest target."

"You are intelligence, Bella, the problem is you don't use it." I hummed and went upstairs to take a shower. I changed into a pair of ripped to fuck jeans and a sloppy Joe, then sat down in my inflatable chair downstairs. "We need to get you new clothes." Jasper was sitting on the couch, flipping through channels.

"I'm happy with my clothes, you snobby bastard." I grabbed my jacket that was lying over the table and found my cigarettes.

"No, not in the house, go outside. I'm not havin' our house smellin' like a brothel."

"A brothel? I would have thought a brothel smelled like cheap perfume, sex, and despair." I got up, the plastic chair squeaking, and walked out the front door. I sat down on the top step of the porch, sinking into my usual slouch, and newly lit cigarette between my lips. Jasper came out a little while later and sat down next to me. "Do you want to do anything today?"

"How bout we go to Port Angeles? I wouldn't mind getting new furniture and things for my room."

"Sure, I don't know what's wrong with your room, but sure."

A couple of hours later we decided to leave. I knew when Port Angeles was suggested it was a dangerous path but fuck, I didn't think it'd be this bad. I've assumed over the years that Jasper has a photographic memory when it comes to mapping, and today strengthens the belief. Every single shop, every street, every floor of the shopping mall, we went into every shop that interested him. Around five, I threw in the towel and told him he could find me in a bar. He found me a few hours later, half a dozen bags in each hand, and a happy smile on his face.

"What a surprise to find you here." He sat down opposite me across the table, and I heard his bags drop to the ground with a heavy thud.

"Yea, specially since I told you I'd be in a bar."

"Don't be mean to me or I'll take back the gift I bought you." He reached under the table into his many bags and pulled out a small paper bag you could get by buying something at a drug store.

"You got me a pregnancy test?" I opened and tilted the bag and a necklace fell out. It was a simple silver chain that had a small pendant attached to it. I flipped it over and saw what looked like a heart on fire.

"It's a sacred heart, its meant to bring good luck to the wearer. I found it in a shop that sold oddities and jewellery from 'round the world. I know you're not one for Christianity, or any religion for that matter, but ignore the story behind it."

"I love it," I moved my hair to one shoulder and clipped the chain together, it taking a couple goes since I have non-existence thumb nails. "Really, thanks, homo. For your generosity, I'm buying you a drink. Heineken?" I bought Jasper and myself a drink and a bag of peanuts, which I threw at him. "I was having one of my long, thoughtful thoughts I have when alone, and I wondered why you're not at college. I mean, your grades were in the top ten or something. Didn't you look into anything?"

"Yes, I did but I didn't know what I wanted my career to be, I still don't. When I find somethin' that fills me with zeal, I'll pursue it and find a school that will turn me into an expert," He opened the bag of nuts, splitting it down the seam. "I could say the same about you. Why aren't you at college this minute?"

"If you didn't notice, I wasn't exactly a straight A student. How I graduated at all is one of those mysteries of the world. And I guess that whole not finding your true calling is another reason." I stole a peanut from him, drowning it with a mouthful of cider.

"You never know what will happen in the near future. This move could be openin' doors and bringin' new opportunities to light."

"Oh yea, cause Forks is the forefront in powerful enterprises."

"You know what I mean, Seattle is close by."

"Unless I invent a new coffee, nothing big is going to happen." I finished my drink and stole another peanut. "Do you want to go anywhere else, or am I free from this place where time seems to stand still?" He didn't find that amusing. He wanted to go somewhere to get the furniture he originally came out here for, making me wonder what the hell he actually bought. I suggested Ikea since it was the only furniture store I knew of. He said he'd rather chop off his foot and shove it down his throat. We left the bar and after thirty minutes we found this giant warehouse filled with furniture. We left with a flat pack bookcase and bedside table shoved in the back of the car, thankfully able to talk Jasper out of the wardrobe for me.

Back at home, I left Jasper to play builder while I sat in my chair watching an old rerun of Fraiser. An hour later I heard a thud and then a curse. I slid myself off the chair and made my way upstairs to his room. I came up short when I stepped into his room. I couldn't actually believe this was once my room. The pale, see through curtains were taken down, and in their place were thick, dark blue curtains he must have bought today. He pushed his chest of drawers in a corner, opposite the door, his small iPod system on an end table a couple feet to the left of that, two tall CD towers stuffed full of books, DVDs and CDs on either side of the window, charcoal sketches framed and mounted on each wall, bed facing the iPod dock and his TV at the end of the bed on another one of those Chinese tables.

He was sitting on the floor by his bed, two planks of wood in his hands, more wood around him along with screws, screwdrivers and a hammer. I sat down behind him on his bed, the low bed frame placing me so low I was almost on the ground.

"How you coming along, Bob the builder?" I leaned over his shoulder and looked at the crumpled instructions he was burning holes in.

"Why didn't we buy one that was already built?"

"Don't ask me, it was your choice." I got up, walked over to the tower that had the most books and picked out the one that was most worn out; Atonement. "This is a bit heavy for you, isn't it?" I held the book high above my head.

"It makes for an interestin' read." I heard the hammer hitting wood then him groaning. "Can you help me with this?"

"Oh, no, no, no, you know I don't do building or DIY." I left the book on top of Gravity's Rainbow, and headed for the door, ruffling his hair as I went pass.

"Why must you be a woman in that one section?"

"I have to be womanlike in some sense other than physically, and I'm picking not putting up shelves." I left him to his chore and took my seat again, listening to a random thud or muffled curse here and there. A couple of hours later Jasper came downstairs, shirt changed into a tank top and his jeans turned into his gym pants.

"Well, it only took you... two hours to finish a simple bookcase and mini table. I don't think carpentry is your calling." I had a bottle of Dr Pepper and a packet of Cheetos shoved into the cup holder while having my legs thrown over the other armrest.

"I also completed my room." He dropped himself on the couch and heaved out a sigh. "It's nice to see you workin' hard as well."

"I've finished my room. I don't see how it can take you so long to set up a room; you did all this quicker than you did your room," I gestured to the living room and kitchen.

"I'm sorry I take care of my belongings." I threw a chip at him which he ate.

I sighed. "You wanna go to the bar in La Push?"

"You didn't have your fill at Port Angeles?" He teased, moving himself into a less slobbish position.

"I only had two drinks, and they were spaced out." I slipped myself off the chair and sat on his knee. "Come on, I know you'll love it. It's not like a mud hut or anything, I promise, and you deserve a drink for all the hard work you've done." I leaned forward and kissed his cheek several times.

"Okay, okay, I'll go. You don't have to torture me." He stood up, causing me to sit on the table, and walked upstairs. "I'll change and we'll go."

"Its not a mud hut but it's not high-class, you don't have to change into anything fancy. And you can't hear a word I'm saying." We left for La Push, it taking thirty minutes to drive, and another ten to find the bar since it looked just like the houses surrounding it, only bigger.

Warm air, the smell of beer, fried food, and the sound of music and loud voices greeted us when we stepped foot in the bar. It was like a sea of bronze skin and dark hair with a few specks of pale buggers from Forks. Jasper seemed in a state of quiet awe. We sat at the corner of the bar, Jasper looking everywhere and becoming more awed.

"Have I died, is this heaven? And why has this place been given to Washington, it should be in San Francisco or New York."

"I guess this is your heaven; loads of tall, muscled, soon to be drunk, natives," I gain the attention of the bartender. "You always find amazing and or beautiful sights in the most unlikely places."

"Hello, and welcome to The Den. What's your poison?" This wiry, six-foot guy with a big grin on his face leaned over, resting his forearms on the edge of the bar. "Your friend alright?" He nodded to Jasper. I glanced, seeing him still looking everywhere with no hint of subtly.

"He's fine, he's... uh, just come out of hospital, still a little bit up there.." I smiled and patted his shoulder, not that I think he noticed. "I'll have a Corona, and a Heineken for him."

"On their way," He took two steps back, bent down and pulled out the bottles from a fridge under the bar. "$4.60. How does it feel to be back in Forks, Bella?" He slid the bottles next to my hand, grinning again.

"It looks the same... Will."

"Quil."

"Quil, sorry. It's been a long time, and you look nothing like you did last time I was here." I moved the Heineken in front of Jasper then played with my bottle, tearing the label off and rolling it.

"I know. I had a small growth spurt."

"Several inches, 40 lbs of muscle, and stubble isn't a small growth spurt." Jasper seemed to have found himself and was quietly drinking. "Ah, you're back. How was Hornyland?" I teased. His only answer was glancing in my direction. "Jasper, this is Quil. Quil this is my roommate and fag to my hag, Jasper."

"Great to meet you. The whole town has gossiped about you for two weeks now. It's been a long time since the town has found something interesting to talk about."

"That's just great. So what's my back story? Prostitute, drug dealer, married two times, abortion?" I'm enjoying this more than someone should.

"There's been talk of your relationships but nothing that extreme, and nothing about prostitution."

"Hmm, I'm very disappointed in the lack of imagination " Quil excused himself to serve another customer. I turned in my chair to Jasper. "So... what do you think of this place?"

"It's one of the best places you've dragged me to. Can I ask though, how is everybody in such remarkable shape, is there a gym close by?" He looked around again, though more subtle than last time.

"I think it's just luck from the gods and genetics, or steroids are very popular in the North West Pacific." I looked around and felt a smile plant itself on my face. "I think we should introduce ourselves properly," He looked at me, saw my grin and nodded, smiling himself after a moment.

...

Three hours, seven beers, half a dozen shots, a jug of margaritas between us, and a large tab later, we'd officially introduced ourselves to everyone in the bar. I played several games of pool with people I hadn't seen in years, a few I'm sure not remembering me. Jasper did a Waldo act and disappeared in the sea of bronze, his gaydar leading him to any guy, gay, bi, or curious. I met the owner of the bar, Billy, who was an old friend of Charlie's, having a whole conversation with him that I couldn't remember what about. I remember talking to people from Forks, some I fucking hated, then found Jasper chatting up some native with long hair.

I found myself talking to some chick, beautiful in an 'I can kick your ass' kind of way. I don't remember a lot, there was laughing, touching, drinking, more laughing, more drinking... more touching. Soon I found myself outside then in a house, then a bedroom and... yea, in a bed.

I'm very good at introductions.

**XxX**

**Uhh... yea no lemons. I'm not doing lemons because I suck at them, and I don't want to piss of the FF gurus, again.**

**Please review, suggestions, and stuff.**


	7. Chapter 7

**You know what, I'm just gonna update when I update. This has been put on the back burner for a bit since I've been more occupied with a new story, had so much fun creating the characters.**

**I'm curious, what's the best I love you you'd got from a boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever. It can be funny as hell, inappropriate, sickly sweet, all are welcome.  
**

**Sorry bout the errors, got no beta and I've got to leave in... a minute.**

**XxX**

_3 months later_

"What do you want to do for your birthday?" Jasper asked, newspaper and coffee on the kitchen table in front of him.

Nothing very interesting has happened since that first visit to The Den. The next morning I woke up, quite surprised to find myself in a bed not mine, I left a note, found Jasper waiting outside, next to the car. He'd apparently spent the night with a native of his own, the very same native he slept with in New York. The whole car ride home was filled with jokes, innuendos, and comments on both sides. Later that week I got a call from Billy saying my shift starts the next day. I must have talked to Billy that night at the bar and asked for a job, how I got it I'll never know. I met Embry, Jasper's chew toy, and he was a great guy, very sweet. Leah, my chew toy, and I became... friends I guess the word is, which quickly turned into a sex buddy deal.

To say there were rumours about Jasper and I, was an understatement.

"Uh... I don't know, buy a cupcake, a case of beer and have a barbecue?"

"No, I refuse for that to be your answer. This is your twenty-first birthday, you can gamble and drink legally."

"Okay, Vegas then."

"If that's what you want, then fine. I'll book all the essentials. All you need to do is have your passport, pack a bag and have money." He closed his newspaper and left his mug in the sink.

"Excellent. We can get drunk, lose all our money and then get hitched. You know, the usual."

"If you want to do the cliché, tourist act." He grabbed his laptop, a smooth, thin, cost more than my first car, Apple MacBook, and sat on the couch.

"Its Vegas, everyone's a tourist." I followed him and sat down in my chair.

"Its more than The Strip and casinos. There are houses, people live there." Jasper moved the laptop to the table and pointed at the screen. "This is a few of the hotels; Flamingo hotel, Bellagio, Monte Carlo, Luxor, Caesars Palace, Hard Rock, Circus Circus, take your pick."

"I heard the Flamingo has let itself go, Circus Circus is too family orientated for what I want to do, Hard Rock... maybe, I heard they have suites named after bands that stayed there." I clicked on the link and scrolled down. "Sex Pistols... Rolling Stones... ah, Nirvana. We have to stay in the Nirvana suite. We can go authentic, do coke and then marry Courtney Love."

"No, I will not allow you to go down that dark path of bein' with Courtney Love. Look what happened to the last person."

"I must be rubbing off on you, that sounds like something I'd say." I searched the website, clicking on random suite links. "Holy crap, look at this. They have a bachelor pad that has a strippers' pole, full bar, two private lap dance booths, king size bed with a large mirror over it... Can we buy this place?"

"This is a room version of inside your mind. Sugar, I'm sorry but unless you have a hidden cash pile we can't afford a weekend in the band suites."

"Ah, fuck it. Book a room at the Luxor. That's the pyramid one, right?" I slid back the laptop.

"That's the one." He went for his wallet, typing in his card details and closed the laptop awhile later. "Flights and hotel are booked and sorted. Our flight is Thursday at 2:40pm, so you don't spend the majority of your birthday on a plane."

"So... I wouldn't be able to drink, gamble or do anything for twenty four hours?"

"Don't worry, it'll be late when we arrive. Dinner, maybe a show, and then it'll be a reasonable time to sleep." He stood up, looking very pleased, and checked his phone. "I need to head to work; Colin called in sick," Jasper found himself a job at the butchers' shop in La Push. "Don't worry, Bella, we can still drink in the hotel room." He kissed my cheek and left for work, leaving me watching some crap on TV. Later on when I got bored with TV, I left for Leah's.

I patted the roof of Josh's car, having to get a ride since Jasper took the car, and opened the house door like I owned the place, walking through the kitchen to get to the living where Leah was, lazily stretched out on the old couch reading a worn leather book.

"You know its considered rude walking into someone's house without an invitation." Leah said in a bored tone, not looking up.

"And you know its considered rude not greeting your guests warmly." I lifted her feet, sat down, and dropped her feet in my lap. "Quileute history and legends." I read the title. "Nothing like knowing what your ancestors were doing a thousand years ago. God only knows what mine were doing. Knowing my luck, they were the ones that kicked the natives off their own land."

"Is there something you want, or do you walk into peoples' houses and distract them as a past time?" She lowered her book, leaving it open on her chest.

"That and a touch of water coloring." My hand crept up her bare leg, going back down to her ankle when stopped by the bottom of her shorts. "So... how's Seth?"

"If you're going to keep touching me like that, you better stop talking about my brother."

"Was just trying to start a conversation. So, since you're not in the mood for small talk today, you wanna," I slipped my hand under her shorts and squeezed her upper thigh in suggestion.

"Sure, I'm not busy." Leah closed her book, putting it on the floor then straddled me. She leaned down and caught my upper lip between her teeth, occasionally running her tongue along it. I, in return, slid my hands under the back of her shirt, sliding further up, expecting to be stopped by her bra. I wasn't. I felt vibrations in my pocket, which was really helping things. I moved away and reached for my phone. "Ignore it." Leah pulled my hand away, pinning it to the couch by my head. I agreed and continued playing piano on her spine. Five minutes later we moved upstairs to Leah's room, her shirt off, shorts unbuttoned, my – Jasper's – shirt unbuttoned, and somehow one sock missing.

Thirty minutes later we were back downstairs, fully clothed and back in our original positions. I had the leather history book over Leah's shins as I flicked through it.

"I gotta say you guys have great legends." I stopped at a page about Chief Taha Aki, skimming through it absent-mindedly.

"Because my people have creative minds and simple answers to the world's questions."

"All this is easier to believe than the Jesus storyline." My phone rang in my pocket. I arched my hips and slipped my phone out my pocket. Alice flashed across the screen. "I've got to take this," I moved the book and Leah's legs off my lap and headed for the front door. "Hey, Ali cat, long time no talk."

"It's not my fault you've been too busy to text me." Her end of the line crackled.

"You've got a phone too." I sat against the bottom of the closest tree on the edge of the forest. I looked down myself and noticed I fucked up my shirt, two buttons in the wrong holes and one seemed to be ripped off. Jasper's going to kill me I wedged my phone between my ear and shoulder, and righted my shirt as much as I could. "What?"

"I said, what are your plans for your birthday this year?"

"I'm going to Vegas with Jasper."

"I should of seen that coming." She chuckled. "Don't get drugged, don't marry a stripper or a blackjack dealer, and, for the love of god, don't get arrested."

I whined. "That was all I wanted to do. How else am I gonna enjoy my visit now?"

"Lose all your money and come back home drunk like the rest."

"There's no originality in that. Are you going to be able to come? We'll spend two, maybe three days there."

"I'm sorry, Bella, but I don't think I can make it. I'll send you a present though, I promise."

"I guess I can live with that." I leaned heavily on the tree, the bark scratching my back through the thin shirt. "I might come up to New York in a week, think I've got money to spare."

"That makes one of us; I made a big purchase recently and it's burned my money badly."

"Not a car right? A car is fucking useless in New York."

"No, not a car. I've moved into a new apartment."

"...An apartment? What happened to your old apartment?"

"My landlord upped the rent, and I found this great place that's almost $200 cheaper."

"Well, that's great. How's everything over there? Rose still a bitch?"

"You two are on good terms, that only happens when the leaves change, why must push her patience?"

"I need that friction, that slight hatred, in my life, and she's the perfect woman for it." I heard her breathe out and could almost see her raising an eyebrow. "What? We love to hate each other."

"I've noticed. You remember Toby?"

"Of course, he did my tattoo, and his sister keeps me in line."

"Hmm, interesting... Do you remember calling him up and telling him you were moving to Washington?"

"Oh, shit."

"Yes, oh shit. He turned up looking for you, wanting to go for a drink. I had to tell him you moved out weeks ago. How could you forget to tell someone you were leaving? Did you forget anyone else?" I heard rustling then a thud. "Goddamn it."

"What the hell is happening there?"

"I'm still sorting everything in the apartment." I heard her grunt a few times before a sigh. "How's everything up in Washington?"

"Jasper's been a pain in my ass with his new chew toy turned soul mate." I heard a curtain thrown back then water running. "Are you getting in a shower?" Images popped in my head; wet, naked, soapy, moaning images.

"Maybe," She teased. "Don't be all moody and pessimistic with Jasper. I'm happy he's found someone, I can imagine there's slim pickings in the gay stock... Have you been able to find anyone?" There was something up with her voice, but I think it was just the phone and its crappy connection.

"Uhh..." I hesitated. I didn't want to tell Alice about Leah because I didn't want her to feel like I've replaced her. "Maybe, but I've never had the best instincts."

"You are hopeless," She agreed, giggles echoing. I heard a squirt of a bottle, shampoo I'm guessing, and moaned.

"You can't talk to me on the phone while you're in the shower; it's just cruel. Maybe you can send me a picture? It can be my birthday present."

"Then you'll be getting it on your birthday." I heard the curtain pull back again.

"Come on, you're right there."

"Don't whine, its a turn off."

"I thought begging was a turn off."

"It goes hand in hand." The echoing was gone and I again heard rustling. "With the obvious exceptions, of course."

"Of course," When the hell did the clouds get so dark? "Alice, I've got to go. Hopefully I'll see you soon."

"Hopefully. I'll make sure Jasper looks after you in Vegas."

"Yea, he'll spoil all my fun and make sure I don't marry a poker player." I hung up a few minutes later and pushed myself up. My jeans were officially soaked through from the wet grass I'd be sitting on for twenty minutes, and I'm sure my shirt had blood spots from the bark digging into my back.

I walked back into Leah's house and put on my socks and shoes. "I've got to go. Been great seeing you and your bed, really soft, but I think I should go before your family shows up." I leaned over and nipped her lip.

"Good idea," She groped my ass as I made my way out. I stopped at the butchers' to see how Jasper was and bought a chunk of beef while I was there for dinner, Jasper going to cook it obviously. I took the car home, Jasper saying he'd get a ride from Embry, and spent most of the night in front of the TV, helping Jasper with dinner when he came home and listening to him talk about work and Embry.

**XxX**

**I feel like I've called someone by the wrong name in this chapter... whatever, it'll come up at some point.**

**I know this is a short chapter with nothing going on but I wanted to have Bella and Alice talking cause one, Alice hasn't made any appearances since chapter two I think, and second, I wanted to show a bit more of their relationship with one another but I think I've failed amazingly at that.**

**Thanks for the reviews, favouring and alerting.**


	8. Chapter 8

**What, what, what, is this a chapter? My god, it is. You can hear icicles forming in hell right now. I'm picking this back up as you can see, and will be sending out a new chapter every week, give or take a day.**

**i have no Beta, I go through them like George Clooney goes through women, so if you want to proof read a chapter or two, PM me.**

**XxX**

_3 days later_

"I think I'm going to kill someone. I mean actually beat a person to death."

We left for Sea-Tac at 12:30pm, having to get there two hours early to go through those 'are you a terrorist' questions. We flew to the one stop, Phoenix, and found their plane to Vegas was delayed for _three hours_. I sat down in one of those plastic chairs next to Jasper, silently counting to hundred in an attempt to keep my shit together.

"Bella?" Oh, fucking god no. I slowly turned in my chair and came face to face with mom. Shit. "Oh it is you!" She pulled me out of my chair and cracked a rib hugging me. "How long has it been honey, three years?"

"Something like that." I pulled myself out of her grasp and shoved Jasper in my place. "You remember Jasper, right?"

"Of course. Jasper, how have you been, any new boyfriends?"

"There's one I'm particularly fond of, yes." I sent a sideways look his way. Then I noticed the skinny guy behind us, holding four bags in his hands.

"You must be the boyfriend. Joseph, right?" I stepped around my mom and my half wife, and held out my hand. He smiled, dropping two bags on the floor and squeezed my hand.

"I'm Phil, the fiancé." Huh. I felt my eyebrows leave my face with the surprise. Renée came round and hugged Phil around the shoulders, grinning.

"I haven't seen Joseph for months and months and _months_, honey. This is Phil Sawyer, he's a minor league baseball player and we're getting married next year."

"Well... fair enough." Last I heard she was with a minor league hockey player, so we're definitely moving up. "As long as he doesn't beat you I'm happy."

Renée laughed. "You've always had a dark humour." I frowned. "Stop being so serious. You were like that as a child, and stubborn." Jasper chuckled beside me, nodding in agreement. I pinched the back of his arm making him jump a foot away from me. "How have you been on the dating field?" When I told Renée I was into girls, she laughed, hugged me and said of course I was. Apparently I wasn't that subtle. She was so supportive that she tried to get me to date at least a dozen of her friend's daughters, some I'm sure were the straightest girls you could come across.

"Nothing's going on. All the lucks on Jasper's side."

"Aww, honey don't worry, you're dry spell will end soon." I held in the laugh but allowed myself to smile. I don't think it was necessary to tell her it's been mating season for me. "Where are you two flying off to?"

"Vegas, for my birthday."

"Oh yes, your birthday's tomorrow," Renée took one of the two remaining bags from Phil's hand, unzipping it and reaching to the very bottom. "I was going to send it but since you're here, what's the point?" She pulled out a large box, wrapped in glittery paper that had a pair of her panties – red and lacy – caught on one of the corners. "These are not for you, though." She plucked it between her first two fingers, dropping it back into her bag. I took the box from her hands, trying to ignore what I'd just seen.

"I don't think they'll allow me to take this on the plane. They'll probably think it's a bomb or something."

She sighed. "Okay. Jasper, my gentleman, hide it and put it in your bag. You're not seeing it until tomorrow." Jasper took my present out of my hands.

"Is that really necessary?" I watched Jasper sit back in the crappy plastic chairs where our bags were..

"Of course. It's not your birthday until tomorrow morning." Renée looked at the big board that showed all the flights, our still saying it was delayed. "Our flight is coming in." She let go of Phil and hugged me tightly. "I'll see you soon, I promise." She kissed my cheek, going to give Jasper a hug and kiss. I nodded to Phil.

"Phil."

"Bella." He gave me one back, smiling. I sat back down next to Jasper after they left. I sighed, tilting my head.

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I drink."

"Really? Because I thought you drank to escape the cripplin' emotional pain you feel on a daily bases." I blinked half a dozen times.

"Have you been eating my make up? No, sorry, I don't have make up; have you been eating your make up?"

"I've been watchin' Dr. Phil." I noticed the iPhone in his hands."Renée is great for a laugh. Gettin' married though... how do you feel bout that?"

"Put down the iPhone before you start charging me. Besides, I don't have enough crippling emotionally pain to drown in alcohol, not yet." I glanced at my watch and huffed. "I'm fine with her getting remarried, like I said, as long as he isn't hitting her, selling her for drugs, or being her manager in an underground fight club then I'm perfectly fine with it."

"Why... how does your mind lead you to that?"

"I have a dark mind set." It was a solid reason. An hour later and our flight finally came in. I drank a fair amount to pass the time since going to sleep wasn't an option. I even started a game; everytime I hear a baby cry, I drink. After seven o'clock, closer to eight, we landed at McCarren international airport, Jasper looking like a dandy daisy, and me... slightly drunk and quite giddy.

We got a taxi after finding our bags, driving down Tropicana Avenue going passed billboards advertising shows, restaurants, and I think I even saw one for Viagra, a Hooters that made me nudge Jasper, who in turn rolled his eyes, MGM Grand that had a giant poster for Cirque Du Soleil and Crazy Horse plastered next to each other on sides of the building. "We should go tonight; it'd free up some time."

"You're going to see Crazy Horse?" Our driver turned in his seat, a heavy foreign accent – Australian it sounds – drowning his words. "I took my girlfriend to that last month. It's real good, real classy."

"Really? You don't get any of those wolf whistling morons?"

"There's few there and then but you don't see them much." He glanced in the rear-view mirror and saw he had a small red stud in the side of his nose. And quite pretty eyes.

"Thanks for the heads up." Then I noticed his right arm. "Where did you get your tattoo?" Crawling up his right forearm appeared to be a sleeve of cards, dices, lucky clovers, 7's, even an eight ball.

"Great place named Pussykat. It's on South Maryland parkway, by this ace pizza joint, Metro Pizza. Perfect when you got midnight munchies."

"Thanks..." I trailed off. I couldn't really call him inkie or glitter nose, mainly cause they suck as nicknames.

"Mackenzie"

"Thanks Mackenzie, really."

"You're goin' to get drunk, get a tattoo and eat pizza, aren't you?" Jasper interjected.

"Don't be surprised."

"Yes. Anyway. Like Mackenzie said, I've heard it's amazin', but you must be sober and not dressed like you are now or they won't allow you in."

"Fine, fine, I'll drink my weight in coffee and I think I packed that jacket suit thing you made me buy. Pair that with one of your shirts and some jeans and I'm sure they won't think I'm a hobo." We stopped at an intersection before turning left onto the Strip, going pass New York casino. "Las Vegas; where you can travel the world in a day."

"And it'd cost you more." We told the taxi to stop in front of the Luxor after we saw the queue leading to the parking lot, getting our bags out and paying Mackenzie, giving him a good tip. "Wow, he's lovely," Jasper said after the car drove off. "That man should not be stuck behind a wheel."

"He's straight Whitlock, and don't you have your soul mate back home?" We stepped over the low hedges, going passed the rows of stone lions.

"He's my _boyfriend_," He emphasized. "And I can still appreciate the male form. I know Embry does as well."

"How can you appreciate the male form but I can't appreciate the female form without being a perv?" We stopped at the front desk, me leaning heavy on the side while Jasper talked to the smiling girl.

"Because you look with your hands, not your eyes." We entered the elevator and headed up to our room. Jasper slid the key card in the door and swung it open. A sitting room was ahead of us and a view of Excalibur hotel. To the right was a small round table, a wet bar and a mini fridge under it.

"Holy crap homo. How much did this set you back?" I dropped my bag and headed deeper into the room. A big king bed took up the middle of the room, I turned right and saw a small closet next to me, a double marble sink ahead, a toilet further foward, going right there was a jacuzzi bath and left to that, in its own little room, was a shower that looked like it could hold six people. "Jesus Christ Jasper, thank you." I walked back into the living room and gave him a hug.

"It was a bargain, don't worry." He picked up his bag and passed me mine. "Go shower and change, the show starts in an hour." I stripped my clothes as I walked to the shower. A large waterfall shower head pounded water above me. I haven't been in Vegas for more than ten minutes and already I was loving it. I wrapped a white towel around me and zipped open my bag on the bed. "I've made a pot of coffee," Jasper said as he walked passed me to the bathroom.

"Thanks." I dropped the towel and pulled on a pair of Jasper's blue boxers, a push up bra and black jeans and after much digging I found the jacket he bought me, and a dark blue shirt he must've bought me as well.

"You look lovely," Jasper said behind me. I turned my head and saw him coming out of the bathroom, hair still wet and buttoning up a dark green button down.

"Thanks, you look pretty sexy yourself." I tied up my back up black Converses. "I can get into this fucking thing, right? The age limit isn't twenty one?"

"The age barrier is eighteen, don't worry." Jasper picked up my used towel and ran it through his hair roughly then ran a brush through it. He offered the brush to me.

"My hair is fine," I ran my hand through it a couple times and threw most of it over my right shoulder. "Come on, homo."

We walked to the MGM Grand, paying $87 for the both of us and sat at the bar waiting for the show to start. Two hours and a bottle of champagne later, the show ended. It was... spectacular. The women, the moves, all of it was close to orgasmic.

"Did that live up to your exceptions?" Jasper asked as we walked back to the hotel.

"If it were possible, I'd have a hard on made of rock covered in steel."

Jasper sighed. "Really? That's what you say to the most successful and beautiful cabaret act in the world, one that's been livin' for over sixty years?"

"Calm down, I'm only joking, kinda. It was gorgeous, and I can see how it's stuck around for sixty years." We went back to our hotel room and ordered room service and a bottle of champagne.

"Happy almost birthday, Bella." He tapped his glass against mine. We headed to bed a short time later.

...

The mattress under me dipped and bounced.

"Jasper, whatever you want, piss off." I mumbled into the pillow and rolled over. The mattress bounced again. I sighed and rolled back over and saw a bare leg in my peripheral vision. "When did you start shaving your legs?"

"Close to six years ago." A giggly voice said above me. I frowned. I shied my eyes to the light coming through the large window and dragged my eyes up said bare leg. Denim shorts, and a tank top covered a petite body, a grinning face and tousled black hair. Alice.

"How the hell did you get here?"

Alice bounced to her knees then fell forward so her hands were on either side of my head. "That's the welcome I've been hoping for. You owe Jazz big." She kissed me softly.

"He's been wanting Zach Braff for two years now. I'll get him this Christmas, put a nice bow on him." I rolled us over and kissed her. "I've missed my little pixie."

"I've missed you too but wow, you need to sort out your breath." I used the bathroom then joined Alice and Jasper in the living room.

"Thank you so much, homo," I hugged him around his shoulders as he ate his room service. "I do get a real gift though, right?"

"I unfortunately couldn't run to it all but I went haves on Alice's present. And Renee's present is still in my bag." I went back to the bedroom and dug through Jasper's crap. I put the 700ml bottle of Jack Daniel's honey in the middle of the table. "I told you she's the reason I drink."

"Strong evidence." Alice said pulling a large wrapped box from under the table. "If you do not like these, I will injure you with them and believe me, they can cause real damage." The box was a heavy bastard. I sat down in the armchair and ripped it open down the middle. It wasn't a box. The first on top of the pile of books was in a black case with a direwolf sigil. I pulled out the hardback book from the cover and flipped through the pages. I put it back in its case and put it on the table. The next was same in design, black case with a sigil, stag this time, then a lion, a Kraken, and then a dragon. I had them spread out on the glass table.

"I've wanted these for fucking ages."

Alice nodded, "I know your love for all things sex and bloody, and please don't make an inappropriate joke."

I stood up and squeezed the crap outta her with a hug. "Thank you so fucking much," It seemed like I was trying to bite her lips off with the kiss I gave her.

"I bought one as well y'know."

"Come here then," I put Alice down and grabbed Jasper's head, giving him a kiss. Jasper froze all over. I pulled away and touched my top lip. "You need to shave."

"So do you," He pushed his plate away and stood up. "I've never known you to be so grateful." He returned to the bedroom to change.

"What the hell's that suppose to mean?" I asked no one in particular. I took up the chair again and looked at the maps in the first pages of the first book. "Thanks Alice, really."

"I'm glad you like it, especially if you'll react like that each time." Alice sat on the couch and turned around looking out the window. "Jazz really pulled out all the stops."

"I know, it makes me feel slightly guilty that I didn't go all out for his 21st."

"Only slightly?" Jasper came back into the room, changed and shaved.

"Course only slightly," I smiled and closed my book. "What'd you wanna do today?"

"We could go up to the motor Speedway and have a track day." Jasper suggested, sitting next to Alice on the couch.

I nodded and put the books in a pile. "Okay, you call them up and I'll be down in the casino. You coming?" I asked Alice as I pulled on my shoes and grabbed my wallet. We rode down in the elevator with four other people – a couple talking in German, someone wearing a plastic visor and shorts, and I think a Poker dealer. "How's everything been on the East side?"

"Excellent. Emmet's... you can't tell anyone okay?" I nodded. "Emmet's thinking about proposing."

"To who?"

"Are you kidding? Rose, of course."

"I thought they were already married, they've been together long enough."

"What did you think happened to the wedding? It happened but you weren't invited and Rose told us not to tell you?"

"It sounds like something she'd do."

"Don't." The doors opened and we walked into the casino. "You two are on good terms, don't ruin it."

"She can't hear me." I sat down at a BlackJack table with two other people and gave the dealer a fifty dollar note. The woman gave it back in chips.

"You don't know how to play BlackJack." Alice took up the seat next to me. I slid two chips forward as the bet.

"Course I do. Just cause I can't count cards doesn't mean I can't win." I was given a three and a nine. "Hit," Four. "Hit," An ace. I groaned.

"Have fun losing, I'll be at the slots." Alice left with a kiss on my cheek. I slid a 10 chip. Jasper came down moments later and joined me.

"They have a spot open at 1pm," He gave the woman a ten dollar note. "It'll cost $800 for seven laps for three of us, and we pick our own cars."

"Did you just say $800? Jesus, these cars better be fucking amazing." We both played seven more hands, Jasper winning $110 and me winning $70. "How do you win that godforsaken game?" I asked as we left the table in search of Alice.

"I play logically. If I'm dealt a seventeen I stay, a four, I hit. Over sixteens are always a stay while everythin' under an eleven is hit, especially an eleven."

"I know how to play Jasper, you don't need to explain the fundamentals to me."

"I think I need to. You won your money back and $20. I on the other hand won a profit of $100."

"Yea, yea, you're humping Lady Luck, big whoop." We found Alice at the end of a row of slot machines. "Having fun winning a pack of tampons worth of quarters?" I leaned on the back of her chair, resting my chin on her head. She pulled the leaver, seven... seven... bar.

"I won $40. How much did you lose?"

"Nothing, I got my money back and an extra twenty. The track day is set up, 1pm so we've got some time to burn."

"Poker?" Alice suggested. We found a small poker table with four available seats. Alice leaned over as the dealer gave everyone their cards. "Your tell is touching your index finger to your bottom lip. Keep your hands on the table at all times." I looked at my hands and spread them on the table. I looked at my two cards and held in a groan; two of clubs and eight of hearts. I folded like a spineless husband. End of the first hand, the pot was over $600 and Jasper won half of it with a straight. He really was humping Lady Luck, very well it seemed. Two Jacks and lost $90, an Ace and King, won pot of $286, seven of spades and four of hearts, folded, ten of clubs and nine of diamonds, folded, a skinny redhead in a tube top winning, King of diamonds and nine of spades, won $372 by the skin of my teeth, three and seven of hearts, folded, five and six of clubs, won $586 with a straight of my own, I folded an eight of clubs and four of diamonds and left the table with a nice sum of chips. And I only touched my lip twice.

Jasper and Alice left the table ten minutes later where they found me playing BlackJack again. We called a taxi to the Motor Speedway after I lost $50. Thirty minutes later and the three of us were sitting in a room with nine other people listening to the guy up front explain about safety. We picked our cars – Jasper taking a Ferrari F430, Alice a Porsche Cayman, and me an Aston Martin Vantage – and lined up on the polls with the rest. Seven laps and a near collision later, I came second after a Mclaren, Alice coming in after me and I think Jasper came in around fifth place.

"You suck," I poked Jasper's forehead. "I told you not to pick a Ferrari cause one, it's so predictable and two, they're not the best speed around corners which this track is nothing but."

"Its top speed is 198mph and what's yours, 190mph? 0-60 in under four seconds, 4.3 litre V8 engine, rear wheel drive, I should of won." He counted off his fingers as we sat in the back of a taxi. "How powerful are your engines?"

"4.7 litre, V8, top speed 190, acceleration 0-60 in about 4.7 seconds and rear wheel like yours."

"Rear wheel, 3.4 litres and a mid engine, 175mph was its top speed, 0-60 in 4.4 seconds." Jane crossed her legs and rested her arm over the back of the seat. I'm not a car junkie but damn, listening to her talk car was a bit of a turn on.

"I can't believe I was beaten by a Nissan." We ignored Jasper's complaining as we drove back to the hotel. Jasper and Alice went upstairs to our room to change for the pool while I went to sniff out a drink. I found Jasper poolside at the smaller pool that was less crowded than the big one, and Alice was swimming laps.

"What in gods name is that?" Jasper slid my aviator glasses off his face and squinted up at me. I sat down in a deckchair next to him and took a sip.

"It's called a Blood Orange Cosmo. It's got Vodka, blood orange liqueur, cranberry juice and," I pinched the edges and squeezed orange in the glass. "An orange slice."

"It's not six yet and you're already drinkin'," The glasses dropped to his nose and he rolled onto his stomach, showcasing the one long scar that lived down the length of his back.

"I'm in Vegas, people die and rack up gambling debts so big they live in boxes and halfway houses the rest of their lives. Me having a tiny drink before the sun goes down isn't the biggest crime."

"You have an answer for everything, don't you?" Alice came out of the pool, pushed my legs to either side of the chair and sat between them. She was wearing a green two piece, and it took everything in me not to pull the string staring at me. "Bella?"

"Yea, yea, anything."

"I'm goin' to have a lil' swim," Jasper stood up, giving me my glasses back and dove into the pool.

"Show off," I muttered as I rested my chin on Alice's shoulder and watched Jasper emerge five seconds later. "Would you be terribly offended if I removed your bikini?"

"In public, of course. In private, you have to be on my good side." She leaned completely back and wore my aviators.

"I'll enjoy the challenge but first, I think dinner is in order."

We left Jasper in the pool and went up to our room to change clothes, but before that we checked the bed... to see how firm it was. Jasper found us in the same place I ordered my drink, I ordered another, and we ate amazing food that cost an arm and a leg and a kidney. The rest of the night went in a usual Vegas fashion. I remember the first bar we went to, I remember the second, I remember the first club we went to, second it was slightly hazy around the edges; that was the point of no return.

After that the night was full of blurs, missing pieces, and rare moments of clarity.

I groaned and rolled over, the sun hitting me squarely in the face which made me roll over again. I cracked an eye open and looked around. I think I was in my hotel room but something looked off. I slowly pushed myself to sit on the floor, the movement making me want to vomit. I noticed my jeans were covered in dust and stains that were slightly worrying, I'm sure I wasn't wearing a Hooters shirt last night and the jacket had a torn sleeve. Then I figured out what looked different with the bedroom; it was chaos.

The large double window had paint prints all over it, one of the mirrors on either side of the bed was broken on the floor, the other having something written in lipstick, a purple boa thrown over a lamp, the table and chair was tipped over, glasses, mugs, and more than one bucket of champagne surrounded me and just noticing, there was a half naked Alice on the bed with one heel hanging off her foot that hanged off the bed, the duvet and one of the pillows not in the room. I stood up unsteadily, stumbling back into the turned over table and falling back on the ground. I groaned and held in the sick creeping up.

I stood up again, more careful, and moved into the bathroom where I heard water running. More cans, bottles and full to near empty glasses of booze were in the sinks, on the counter and around the edges of the jacuzzi and in it were two food trays. I stepped in the shower where the water was running, first time realizing I was only wearing one sock as it got soaked on the floor, with no one in it but a giant stuffed panda bear that was pretty much ruined by the downpour. I turned the shower off and made my way to the living room, shielding my eyes against the sun.

Soft snoring came to my right. Jasper was sleeping in the armchair, a sombrero on his head hiding most of his face, his right leg lying on the floor, an empty bottle of tequila loosely wrapped in his hand on his bare stomach, and Mardi Gras beads around his neck. A bottle pyramid that almost touched the ceiling was in the middle of the room, a piece of cardboard in front of it with Luxor written in pen. On the couch there was a life size cut out of Brooke Shields in a bikini with a bra and thong over the top, there was a sign named Swan Lake on the table along with a top hat, and a red and pink heart with 'Just married' in cursive writing. A chair with an inflated alligator wearing my aviators was tilted against against the round table.

I collapsed in the other chair that seemed to be intact and laid my head on the table, mindful of the puddle of custard.

"G'morning, want coffee?" I turned my head slowly and saw a back turning on the coffee machine.

"Morning, black and one sugar." Talking even hurt. I took the glasses of the gator and put them on me finding one of the lenses missing. He passed me a mug and threw the gator off and sat on the chair. I lifted my head and scolded my tongue drinking. I frowned and looked at the guy in front of me, slowly putting my mug down. He was ginger, had thick eyebrows, freckles, and had a fuzzy handcuff around the wrist holding his coffee. "Who the hell are you?" I asked, confused. He looked at me and frowned as well.

"Danny. Who the hell are you?" His voice sounded like he smokes eight packs a day, but then again my voice didn't sound any better.

"Bella. We didn't..." I glanced at the heart behind him then at my left hand; no ring. "What the hell happened last night?"

"I remember... I don't know, I don't remember. Want food?"

"I can do food." We somehow made our way downstairs without falling over, crashing into people or making complete fool out of ourselves. We ordered food and Bloody Mary's.

"I need to go home," Danny pushed himself up and shook my hand. "Meeting you's been... interesting."

"I can easily say the same." He paid his half and left and I paid mine and went up to my room. As I opened the door, Jasper dropped his bottle and it smashed on the floor, waking him up. He gurgled out a sentence then sat up. "Hi," I grunted as I sat back down at the table with my cold coffee.

"Where am I?" He stood up crunching glass under hot pink sandals and steadied himself on the other table.

"Vegas." Moments later, Alice came out wearing a red dress, one strap falling off her shoulder. She had different colour painted hand prints around her ankles and knees, her hair was leaning to one side looking quite similar to a cockatoo, she had a bad case of panda eyes which didn't hide the bloodshot in them, and she had a moustache drawn on her face. "What happened to your face?" I asked.

"What happened to _your_ face?"

"You have a devil beard." I pointed.

"You have a Hitler moustache."

"What?!" We said together. I picked up a knife to look in while Alice ran into the bathroom. Oh my fucking god, I have a Hitler moustache drawn on me. I have a Hitler moustache on me! "Oh, dear god, I'm going to be arrested... Oh, dear god, I went downstairs like this."

"Whose this?" Jasper pointed a yellow hand to the Brooke Shields' cut out while holding himself up by the table.

"Brooke Shields I believe," I rubbed my mouth and looked in the knife again. "Why isn't this coming off?"

"Oh no, this isn't coming off!" Alice shouted from the bathroom. She came running into the room, face wet with some soap still on her chin. "Why won't this come out? What happened yesterday?"

"People please stop talking, it hurts." I laid my head back on the table and closed my eyes. "I've got a Hitler moustache and my glasses don't work anymore."

"Rubbin' alcohol wares off ink, I'll call front desk." Jasper gradually got to the phone near the door and called for a first aid kit and rubbing alcohol. We got the ink off, the smell making me run to the bathroom and throw up in the sink – I couldn't make it to the toilet. The four of us ordered breakfast by the pool, none of us feeling up to changing from what we were all wearing. I downed my Bloody Mary version of second breakfast and ordered another.

"If one of us has married a stripper and kidnapped a Chinesemen, I'm blaming you," I pointed to Jasper.

"Oh sweet Jesus," Alice had a digital camera out and was covering her mouth with her other hand.

"What?" As an answer she passed the camera to Jasper who in turn passed it to me. It was a picture of me and him riding one of the stone lions outside the hotel as I held a yard glass like a sceptre. I went through all the photos, there were easily over hundred. Jasper, Alice and I at a bar with a show dancer, said dancer bent over with a hand over her mouth and her face in a mock expression of scandal as I was behind her with my hand raised near her ass, me and Alice drawing the beards on each other, me doing the Nazi salute – fucking hell – me flexing next to this huge guy that made me look tiny in comparison, Jasper with the same guy but him having both his hands around the guys bicep, the guy writing something on Jasper's stomach. Me surround by Hooters girls, two of them kissing Jasper on both cheeks, Danny putting a yard glass between his legs and laughing, me holding two yard glasses on my tits, me standing on a platform in front of a giant golden lion holding a cardboard sign with 'I killed Mufasa' written in pen, Jasper and Danny dancing, Jasper holding Alice by the ankles as she stood on her hands, me humping a cactus n the desert, Danny standing in front of someone's house as they passed him a tool box, me on his shoulders as I unscrewed a street sign. All of us were in a wedding chapel with two other people I've never seen – that'll explain the 'Just married' heart – Jasper wearing his sombrero and holding a tequila bottle in both hands with me wearing a top hat and a monocle and Alice and Danny sharing the feather boa, me with seven cigarettes in a row in my mouth, outside a tattoo parlour, me sitting in the chair as the chick held the needle gun to the back of my neck, the end result and me giving two thumbs up still wearing the top hat and monocle, me having the stuffed panda on my shoulders, the panda in a shop having the fuzzy handcuffs on it along with Jasper blindfolded and Alice wearing a gag ball as I stood behind them with a whip in my hand looking like I'm pissing myself laughing.

I touched the back of my neck and felt a bandage. "Huh," I put the camera in the middle of the table and turned in my chair. "Jasper, take off the bandage and see what's under there."

"Bandage? Are you okay?" Alice asked, coming up behind me and peeling off the bandage. "Oh, wow, it's pretty."

"That's your drunk, Vegas tattoo? I'm disappointed in you, Bella. I was expecting something moronic or sick like a teddy bear on fire," Jasper moved my hair out of the way and pushed my head forward, the abrupt motion making me queasy. "But I suppose there's something morbid in a cracked, bleeding heart."

"Jasper," I turned around and looked for the signature, finding it near his hip. "Whose... Zeb Atlas?"

"Zeb Atlas?!" He looked down himself, twisting his head left and right. "I met Zeb Atlas?"

"Who the hell is he, and whose his supplier?" I found the photo of Jasper feeling his bicep and gave it to him.

"I touched him... I touched him and I don't remember any of it!"

"Hey, hysterical girl, who the fuck is he?"

"He's a porn star," He stopped short and his eyes darted between Alice and I. I didn't bother containing my grin.

"You just gave a lot of your personal life away." I laughed. "I'm going to change my clothes, throw up what I've just eaten and maybe have a shower." I stood up and squeezed Alice's hip then left for my room. I looked around the room and covered my face. I'm gonna feel so sorry for the poor bastard having to clean all this up. The guys came up a short time later.

We all spent the last day and night in Vegas more calmly than the night prior, gambling in different casinos, no more than four drinks for Jasper and Alice and six for me, and a dinner. Oh, and one very pissed off bartender demanding his yard glasses back.

**XxX**

**I had so much fun writing this, I think I finished it in three hours which is incredible for me. I wanted to put more details in, like the inside of the hotel or Crazy Horse but I've never been in the Luxor and I haven't seen Crazy Horse.**

**Review and tell me what you think. Til next time.**


	9. Chapter 9

I sighed as I finished unpacking all my crap. I had to buy another suitcase cause of all the shit we bought in Vegas. Alice got on a plane an hour before us and went back to New York. I yawned and laid on my bed, feeling I could sleep for three days. I was still feeling the effects of the night of no memory. Someone banged on the front door and Jasper called me downstairs. I sighed and rolled off the bed. Alice stood with her suitcase next to her, looking more refreshed than I've seen her in the last 48 hours.

"Are you stalking me? I've never pegged you as a bunny boiler."

"Have I ever told you you're good at greeting people?" She came in, dropped her bag on my chair and gave me a hug. "You'll need to put a bow on another man for Jazz." Alice kissed my cheek and then Jasper's before going upstairs with her bag.

"Why are you keeping Alice around, what do you want?" I narrowed my eyes and looked Jasper over.

"You haven't seen Alice for months and when you finally do, we're all so drunk I don't think we said a sentence to one another." Jasper crossed his legs and leaned back in the couch.

"Thanks, I guess. Though I'm still suspicious as hell." I ruffled his hair as I went up to my room. "And crossing your legs like that really makes you look like a woman." Alice was sitting cross legged on my bed and reading one of my books. "You make yourself at home quickly, don't you?" I sat behind her and leaned against the headboard.

"You're really embracing the cabin in the woods look," She closed the book and looked around. "It's so dark, have you thought about putting colour in this room, a rug or curtains?"

"Jasper suggested the same thing and I said no, don't think I'm changing my answer for you."

"I can persuade you more efficiently than Jazz ever could." Alice jumped on my bed and crawled over me, trapping me against the wall and bed.

"Yea, you definitely can but I'm not gonna let you," I smiled. "How long are you staying here?"

"A week, could be two if I'm enjoying myself." She rested her forehead on top of my head and I felt her breath hit me as she laughed. "Maybe not two weeks. There's not a lot of variety in this town."

"You're saying I'm not enough reason to stay for more than a week?" I got no response. "I hate you,"

"We both know that's not true."

"How sweet, if only I had a camera." Jasper was leaning against my door. Alice released me and sat on my lap.

"Yea, yea, go play glory hole with Embry." I waved him off.

"Another excellent example of your first class wit." He handed me the house phone. "Billy wants you to work today."

"What? Jesus, I just came back." I took the phone off his hand and pressed it to my ear, more roughly than necessary. "Hello, Chief."

"I've finally reached you. I need you to cover Leah, she's visiting family in Makah until Monday." He must've been in his office since all I could hear through the phone was his breathing and the occasional creak from his chair.

"For fuck sake," I sighed. "Okay, okay, okay, I'll go. I'll see you in a minute." I hung up and dropped the phone next to me. "Looks like I'm off to work." I moved Alice off me and put my shoes back on.

"He can't do that, you've been back less than two hours." Jasper sat on the end of my bed.

"From Vegas, not hospital. It doesn't matter, it's a Sunday so it'll be slow." I picked my wallet and phone back up.

"Why don't we join you?" Alice took up my position and rested her head against the wall.

"No point. Around this time it's busy as hell with the lunch rush and I won't have any time to talk with you guys." I kissed her quickly and squeezed her hip.

...

"Jack Daniel's, Coors light and Diet Coke goes to table four, the iced tea and orange juice go to table seven while the pitcher of beer belongs to table one." Quil ordered me as soon as I was in earshot. I nodded and dove head first into work. Three hours later when a lull came, I sagged against the bar and blew out a breath.

"When you're done lazing around, take these to table two." Paul yelled through the small window in the kitchen. I glared at him as I picked up the plates of Bacon Burgers with extra fries and ribs.

"Watch it boy, or both plates will end up smashed over your fucking head." I gritted out. That little fucker has pissed me off since the day I met him and my hatred for him has only increased.

"I'd like to see you try outsider." He sneered back. My jaw was clenched beyond belief and I was surprised that my teeth didn't break.

"Don't fucking test me, dog." I turned my back on him before I did something that I would regret and get me fired. Actually I wouldn't regret it but I'd still get fired. I delivered the good to table two and put them down on the surface, albeit forcibly. "Hope you enjoy your meal." I curled my lips into a tight smile. I glanced at my watched and thanked whatever god who'd listen that I only had fifteen minutes to go til my shift was over. I sat at the end of the bar and listened to Quil and Jard's conversation.

"Bella, a little birdy told me your ex girlfriend is living with you?" Quil slid down the bar to me, holding his chin with his fist. "Is there any truth?"

"My ex girlfriend?" I had a few ex's, most of which I'd never want to see again, and one that if she knew where I lived I'd run and join the witness protection program.

"Yea, what's her name?" He snapped his fingers together as he searched for the name. "Ellie? No... Amber?"

It took a bit before the dots connected. "Do you mean Alice?"

"That's the one!" He slammed his palm on the bar. "So, is it true?"

"She's not my ex," I told him. "Wait, she's not my girlfriend to begin with. How do you even know this, are there cameras hidden in my house?"

"I don't know about cameras but Jessica saw her at the gas station and heard her asking directions to your house. Jessica told Lauren and Lauren told... everyone, so congrats, you're talk of the town again."

"Oh joy," Sighing, I slid off the stool and walked around my tables, collecting glasses and plates as I went. "You have got to get a busboy. I can't take orders, serve people _and_ clean the tables afterwards, I'm not fucking Wonder Woman."

"I'm sorry about that, I know she's hot." I raised an eyebrow at Quil. "I heard the Chief talking to Colin about working here, as a busboy I don't know." I nodded then walked to the office, passing Paul who gave me a half glare which I returned full force. I knocked once and entered when I heard him. Billy was sitting behind his desk looking over some papers, most likely something to do with the takings.

"Hey Chief, I'm finished."

"Right. Three hours..." He handed me my earnings. "And an extra $10 for coming in. You collected all your tips?"

"Yea, thanks Chief." I left the office walking passed a glaring Paul and up to the bar. "Usual, Q tip." Quil gave me my cider. "Thanks."

"You should know that glaring at Paul will not make him burst into flames, as much as you want that to happen." He informed me. I peeled the label off the bottle and folded it as many times as I could. I got to seven and beat the scientific number.

"I can always hope." I raised my bottle. "I'm gonna go. See you most likely tomorrow, Q tip." He waved at me as he pulled a pint. I made myself a sandwich and sat in my chair when I got home.

"How was work?" Alice came bouncing downstairs and sat in my lap. "You smell."

"Not surprising. It was fine, the usual." I finished my sandwich, offering a corner to her which she took. "I want to show you something," I pulled us both up and yelled upstairs to Jasper that we were going out. I lead her East where I remembered the small river that cut through the forest was. Ten minutes later, we came across the small river that connected up to the main river. You could faintly see small fish, probably flushed goldfishes, swimming between the rocks that laid on the bottom of the riverbed. I let Alice slip off my back, she jumped on my back for a piggyback ride five minutes ago, and I sat down taking off my shoes and socks, and then slipped my feet in the freezing water, making all the close by fish swim away.

"So what do you think? Not bad for somewhere in the middle of nowhere, huh?" I smiled at her and watched as she lowered herself to the ground next to me, tucking her feet under her ass. She nodded and smiled easily.

"I must say, I'm impressed." I gasped over dramatically and clutched my chest.

"The extravagant Alice enjoying something as simple and humble as a stream? If you listen closely, you can hear icicles forming in Hell." She pushed my shoulder, smiling despite. "Oh come on! You know I'm joking... kind of." Alice glared at me before, shocking me, pushing me into the water. The freezing water hit me instantly and I quickly burst through the surface, gasping and shivering. I glared at her as she laughed loudly. I pulled myself up by the bank and shook myself like a dog, hitting Alice with the water and making her squeal and rush away from me.

I grinned and took chase after her, catching up quickly and dragging her to the floor pinning her arms and legs down as I shook my wet hair in her face. She screamed and laughed at the same time trying to wiggle her way out of my grasp while I laughed before getting up off of her and watched as she wiped the drops of water from her face. She glared and wiped off the last of the drops.

"You're dead." Then she ran straight for me. I turned around and quickly ran for the river. I slowed down slightly as I came closer to the riverbank and looked behind me seeing Alice meters away from me, still going full speed. I stopped just at the edge of the bank and turned around and seconds later, Alice crashed into me pushing both of in the river. Alice was dragging herself out of the river while I stayed in the next to freezing water. "Jesus Christ, that's cold!" She was shivering fiercely. I swam up to the bank and grabbed both of her ankles.

"Oh, come on, haven't you ever thought about fucking in a lake or river?" I glided my hands up her bare legs. Why she's wearing shorts in Washington is a mystery.

"Yes, but the lake is on a tropical island and the water isn't so cold that my nipples fall off." My eyes move down to her nipples as a reflex, and saw they were pebbled under her shirt.

"They seem pretty good from here but just to make sure, let me check." I smirked, pulling her closer to me and kissed her collarbone down to the middle of her tits.

"Bella, I'm not going to have sex with you in some river in the middle nowhere." She pushed at my shoulders but quickly clutched to then when I bit her left nipple.

"How about in the woods then? Promise it'll be fun." I raised her soaking shirt over her head and again took her nipple in my mouth, making her shiver in I think both desire and the cold.

"You do know that having sex on the grass will be fun for all of four seconds?" Alice tried to keep her voice even but it hitched halfway through.

"I don't remember you complaining in Central Park. Remember that? Late at night, no one around to hear you moan and beg." I mumbled against her breast. She half-heartedly slapped my shoulder. I chuckled and removed her soaked shorts and panties. "You really must be cold, your lips are turning blue." I grinned and rubbed her inner thighs. She gasped in shock and weakly slapped me again.

"You're disgusting!" I smirked and kissed her roughly.

"You know you love it." I teased her and then warmed her up.

I pulled myself out from the river and dragged myself next to Alice's body since the frigid water made my legs go completely numb. I pressed my lips against her pulse, feeling it pump franticly under the skin. She stretched out catlike and rolled her head in my direction, giving me a lazy smile. "Now that's the welcome I've been wanting." I chuckled and pulled her on top of me, lightly kissing her neck. "I can't feel my legs." She stated as she tilted her head back, giving me more freedom to kiss her skin.

"That makes two of us." I nosed the length of her throat and collarbone making her sigh.

"I told you not to go in."

"No you didn't." I kissed her collarbone, dragging my teeth across it once or twice. She threaded her fingers in my hair and rubbed circles on the sides of my neck with her thumbs.

"I thought it." I felt a shiver run through her. "We should get going before I get frostbite in places." I laughed and patted her ass.

"I suppose I should get some circulation back in my legs. Same goes for you." I stood up taking her with me. "Let's go."

"I am not walking through the woods naked."

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close. "Aww, why not? You know I'd love the show." I bent my head and brushed my lips against the hollow of her throat. She pushed me back and gave me a stern look.

"I repeat, I am not going to run through the woods naked." I opened my mouth but she covered it with her hand. "Never."

"Fine," I pouted and picked up her clothes, throwing them at her. She rolled her eyes and quickly put on her clothes, apart from her panties which she pushed into my hand, circling my fingers around it.

"Will this be a suitable replacement?" I nodded and stuffed them in my front pocket.

"Very much so, thank you." I place my hand on her ass and pushed her forward. "Now can we go please? I still can't feel my legs at all." We walked back to the house with my hand still on her ass. Jasper took one look at the both of us and rolled his eyes, turning back to the TV.

"Don't you two every stop?" He asked curiously.

I snorted. "Every once in awhile for food and sleep." I walked up the stairs and grabbed a set of dry clothes for me and Alice, throwing hers down the stairs and quickly changed into mine and then walked back downstairs and searched for my cigarettes.

"Smoke outside, I'm not havin' this house smell like a brothel."

"Yea, yea, I know the rules." I sat on the step and opened the packet, sliding the Zippo out and lighting up.

"I thought you quit." Alice came out and leaned on the supporting post.

"I did, this is my reward." Alice never liked me smoking, didn't like smoking in general, and she's tried to stop me smoking on several different occasions... Didn't work obviously. "You wanted to go to the Den right? Why don't we go tonight; it's a Sunday night so it's not as busy as usual."

"Why not, the night-life looks sparse around these parts." She sat down next to me, pulling her knees under her chin.

"That's putting it lightly." I stubbed out the cigarette and stood up, offering my hand to Alice. "Come on, Ali cat, you're gonna spend four hours getting ready while I spend the same amount of time drinking." I squeezed her hip letting her go and went into the kitchen. "No shorts or tank tops, it's freezing as hell and gets colder as the sun goes down. Now that I think about it, dresses aren't a good idea as well."

"That leaves little choice." Alice and I stayed downstairs and watched The Middle to burn time. After eight we decided to leave. I took a shower to get rid of the smell of smoke, beer and fried food while Alice got changed and Jasper went ahead of us to see Embry, taking Alice's rental since I wouldn't let him have my car keys.

"Why don't you let other people drive your car?" Alice asked as we drove to La Push. "I expect it from Rose but she's a car fanatic."

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Maybe it's something I've picked up from Rose. Besides, I let Jasper drive it on the way up here."

"He told me about the road trip. You deprived yourself of sleep so badly you almost fell asleep at the wheel. Rose doesn't even do that." Alice poked my cheek. "Stop being stupid, or suicidal, whichever was most relevant."

"I never fell asleep or almost fell asleep at the wheel. Granted, I did stay awake for more than twenty straight hours but I was making up for time." I parked around the back and got out. "I think you'll like this place, the guys are really nice, well except this one bastard." I pushed the door open and shouldered my way to the bar, Alice trailing behind me. "Hey, Quil."

"Bella, two in one day, a personal best. And whose this little one?" Quil was still doing his shift, 12pm to 11pm.

"This is Alice, the woman that's visiting."

"Ah, the woman behind the rumours. Pleasure, my name's Quil." He smiled and gave a tilt of his head. "Usual, Bella? And what will Alice drink tonight?" He was already getting my cider and had a glass set out for Alice's drink.

"I'll have a Rum and Coke," Quil nodded and threw in ice cubes and poured a lot of Rum and some Coke over them. Alice leaned up and into my side. "What rumours?"

"I'll tell you in a minute. Q tip, do you know where Jasper is?" I gave Alice her drink and paid for both of them.

"I last saw him watching Embry play pool." We found them in the corner talking quietly.

"Homo, Embry." I took a chair from the next table and pulled Alice into my lap. "How's everything? Having fun rubbing each other under the table?"

"Just because you do that doesn't mean everyone else does also." Will poured the rest of his beer into the pint glass.

"Hey, how many of those have you had? Your eyes are looking a little glassy, and not the good kind of glassy."

"This is my first." He took a sip.

We all talked, about Vegas, about what happened while we were gone, how Embry was, and talks of a birthday bonfire or cook out for me.

"But my birthday's already gone; done, finished." I tipped back my third bottle and took a peanut from the bowl in the middle of the table.

"I know, but Quil and Seth thought of the idea and the ball couldn't stop rolling." Embry adjusted his arm around Jasper and stretched his legs out in front of him, knocking my foot.

"Fine, if people want to get drunk and sick on a spit roast and then pass out on a beach, fine. Just don't label it as a birthday party, just a random gathering of people who want to destroy their livers."

"I don't have a problem with that." We ordered some more drinks before staggering our ways back home. Jasper was a little tipsy and I was assigned his carer since apparently, according to Alice, I was too drunk to drive. Too drunk to drive... I drove after downing two bottles of Bailey's, granted it was on a highway and it was four in the morning so not a lot of cars on the road but still, pretty fucking impressive. I pulled Jasper out of the backseat, quite a struggle since there were no back doors and you had to climb over the folded front seat, and supported him to the door.

"Why did I say you look after him?" Alice unlocked the door and turned on the lights. "It's the blind leading the blind."

"I can handle my drinks." I dropped Jasper on the couch, he bounced and giggled, and followed Alice into the kitchen. "Thanks," Alice handed me a glass of water and a painkiller.

"I'm going to bed, do you need help with the giggling Texan?"

"Don't worry, I'll drag him upstairs. I'll find some rope and winch him up if I have to." I gave her a quick kiss and squeezed her hip. "Night, Ali cat."

"I'll see you in the morning," She went upstairs after patting Jasper goodnight on his leg. "I'll see you in the afternoon." Jasper only laughed.

"What's so funny, homo? Someone slip something extra in your drink?" I grabbed his hands and pulled him up.

"It's funny! You, so clueless!" He poked my cheek, laughing. I more or less pulled him upstairs and dropped him on his bed, pulling off his shoes and shirt and unzipped his pants.

"What don't I know now?" I couldn't pull the covers from under him so I put the sheepskin rug over him instead.

"Alice and you! She's crazy 'bout you." His laughing turned into girlish giggles. I frowned and sat on the edge of his bed.

"What'd you mean?" My head was a little fuzzy from drinking but I'm sure I wasn't making this conversation up.

"Alice's been in love you since high school, even though you had tiny boobs then." His giggling quietened then stopped completely and was replaced with snoring.

"Jasper?" I shook him but he didn't budge. "Jasper, what are you talking about? Whitlock!" I ran my hand through my hair and stood up. What the fuck was that? I shook my head and went to bed. I've got to ask him about that tomorrow. I untied my shoes and pulled off my jeans and shirt, replacing them with a used shirt on the floor near my bed. I was only going to sleep in it. I pulled the duvet back and slipped in, rolling over til I was looking at Alice's back.

Alice in love with me... I chuckled and shook my head. Next Jasper's going to tell me I'm in love with her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Jesus, it is half three in the morning here... I need help.**

**This is completely attention whoring of me but could you have a look at my other fic, Misery? It needs a little love and I think it is far far _far _better than this.**

**No Beta, my mistakes.**

**I just realized I haven't done one of these so; I own nothing.**

**XxX**

It was halfway through the day and in the middle of a Victoria's Secrets when I remembered Jasper's drunken ramblings. Since it was Monday, I had to wait til Jasper got off work around six to question him. Not really one of those conversations you can have in a butcher shop.

Alice was bored and somehow convinced me to go to Port Angeles with her. I didn't believe what Jasper giggled out but I couldn't stop myself from observing Alice when around me. I didn't see any evidence that she had feelings for me outside of platonic and lustful. She was touchy feely here and there but she was a touchy feely person by nature, and flirted when she was playful but with our background what the hell would you expect? I just couldn't see it.

Alice and I were back at home sitting on the couch and watching an early episode of Scrubs. Alice was leaning against my side and staring at my chest.

"Jazz chose a lovely necklace," Alice picked the pendant off my chest and ran her thumb over the engravings. "I'm surprised you'd wear it, you're not a religious person."

"I know, but I like how it looks. Do you want it?"

"What? No, I can't, Jazz bought it for you." She shook her head and laid the pendant back on my chest.

"He won't mind, and besides I only remember its there when I'm showering. You seem to have more fun with it that I do." I took the necklace off, it taking a bit cause it got trapped in my hair, and slipped it over Alice's head and hair, not messing it up one bit.

"Thank you," She kissed me on the lips then leaned back into my side. I frowned and stared blankly at the TV. I really need to talk to Jasper. I got my request an hour later when he walked through the door giving me and Alice a hello then going upstairs to shower.

"What have you two been doin' while I've slaved over a bloody piece of cow leg?" Jasper came down wearing his gym/lazy clothes and sat in my chair.

"She tortured me by dragging me around every shop in Port Angeles," I lowered the volume on the TV so we could talk.

"It was not every shop," Alice pushed my shoulder.

"It sure as hell felt like it." Before Alice could hit me again, her phone rang and she went into the kitchen to answer it. The signal around here was okay at best and it seemed the kitchen was the place to get full power. "Hey Jasper, can I talk to you?" I asked as I stood up. He nodded and followed me outside, leaving the door mostly closed.

"What's wrong?" He leaned against the post and wrapped his arms around himself. It was cold and starting to rain so maybe outside wasn't the perfect place to talk.

"You know you got a little tipsy last night? Do you remember talking to me, telling me something?" I sat on the first step of the porch, my feet and half my shins not covered by the roof so they were soaked by the rain in seconds. Jasper thought back then shook his head.

"No, I'm sorry. What did I say?" He sat next to me, bending his knees so only the tips of his feet got hit by the rain.

"You said," I chuckled. "You said Alice's in love with me and has been since high school. Oh, and that my tits were small back then." Jasper ran his hand through his hair, a habit he picked up from me, though I think he does it when he's fucked up, and looked at his feet. "Why are you looking guilty? It's funny, I mean me and her? It'd never happen, she can get someone much better than me."

"I'm sorry, Bella, I wanted you to hear it from her first."

"So... your drunken confession last night was true? Ah, shit." I ran my hand through my hair. "When, uh... w-when did she tell you?"

"She confessed senior year. I believe it was 'round the time you were datin' Kate." I shifted, uncomfortable at the mention of my train wreck ex. "I am sorry you had to hear it from me. What are you goin' to do?"

"I really don't know." I rested my chin in my palm and looked across to the forest surrounding the house. Hopefully a bear will come along and maul me so I wouldn't have to deal with this.

"If it helps, you're takin' this much better than I'd imagine." Jasper laid his hand on my back and rubbed his thumb along my spine.

I covered my face and groaned as loud as I could. "Oh, fucking Christ," I stood up and paced the porch. "This is bad, really fucking bad."

"I knew the calm wouldn't last forever," He sighed. He stood up and caught me around the shoulder. "Bella, calm down. This might not be a bad thing, this could be an opportunity for the two of you. You could get out of this immature, booty call relationship you've created; you could have a real relationship with Alice."

"Whoa there, homo." I pulled away from him then closed the front door. "Are you fucking crazy? Alice's my friend, a relationship's not suppose to come from her. I've slept with her for quite a lot of years, don't you think the thought of something more with her would've passed my mind, by my choice or not?" I was mindful of keeping my voice down even though I'm sure the closed door, the rain, and Alice talking on the phone would muffle this conversation.

"I don't think it has. And friends don't have sex with friends but we'll ignore that. Why is this such a ridiculous thought? Yes, you have your flaws but everyone does." He smiled at me.

"If you're saying this to make me feel better, try again." I sighed and pressed my palms into my eyes. "Okay... okay, I'm not taking your advice." I decided, removing my hands from my face. "As far as she knows, I don't know anything about her... feelings," The word stuck in my throat. "It's still a secret, we'll just put another one on top of that. Sounds good? Yea, I think so too." I headed for the door.

"Why? You two; you don't even see it. You're nearly a couple as it is." Jasper held my hand back from the handle. "Can I convince you to consider it?"

"Question; did you suggest this to Alice when she told you? Cause if you did, she sure as hell didn't take it. I'm gonna take a page out of her book and not follow your advice. Look, Jasper I love you but just because you're in a happy relationship doesn't make you the relationship guru."

"I know that. All I want is for my two friends to be happy, and I think they can be very happy together."

"We were happy together, Jasper. Maybe not in the way you wanted but we were, are. I'm going to push away what's been revealed today, call it denial, call it whatever you want but that's what I'm doing." I left him on the porch to do whatever and went up to my room. I jumped when arms wrapped around my waist.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Alice unwrapped her arms and sat cross legged on my bed.

"No, I just zoned out for a moment. Uhh... you okay?" Act calm, act calm, everything will be fine. I swallowed.

"I'm fine. Lola wanted to know how everything was at the end of the world. How are you, you seem... off."

"I've always been off one way or another." I sat down at my desk and tilted the chair back. "Do you think you'll still be here by the end of the week? The guys are throwing a BBQ thing at the weekend, probably."

"My plane doesn't leave until next Monday. I'll be able to make sure you don't go overboard with drinking." She teased me.

"I'll probably just bring you down with me." I smiled and glanced at my watch. "Dinner? Your turn to make it."

The rest of the week went without incident. The thing I found out was swept nicely under the rug, Jasper didn't mention anything to Alice or remind me of his thoughts, though I did flinch or jump almost every time Alice touched me but I think the zoning out excuse worked.

The BBQ started on Friday, Quil and Embry being the firsts to arrive around one, both carrying a case of beer in one hand and a bag of chips in the other, and Quil had a football under his arm.

"Kim and Claire are joining when they come back from Port Angeles, Leah is coming when her shift ends at three, and I think Sam is coming with Emily." Quil said, giving me both cases and bags of chips. Embry went out back in the direction I pointed to see Jasper.

"Whose Emily and Sam?" I asked as I took the beers out of the packages and put them into the iced filled bucket in the kitchen. We didn't have a cooler so it'd have to do.

"Sam's second favourite next to Jacob in La Push, he works in Seattle so you most likely haven't seen him about. Emily is his fiancée, she's expecting so she doesn't go into the bar a lot." He explained. "What type of barbecue have you got, charcoal or gas?"

"Charcoal. Come on, I'll show you." I led Quil to the back yard where smoke was already rising from the grill and Jasper and Embry were talking next to it. "It's not much but it works. We've got some food but not a lot."

"You shouldn't of bothered; we're all bringing something or other." I pushed the back door open and felt my eyebrows rise. The living room was filled with people from La Push and a few from Forks. "Damn, how long were we out there?" I made my way to the kitchen, having to push a couple people since they wouldn't fucking move. "How the hell are these people and how did they find out about this?"

"You'll know them by today, and news travels fast around here. Excuse me, Bella, Claire's here." He smiled at me before walking behind some girl and lifting her up by the hips, making her squeal. I reached into the now filled up bucket/cooler and grabbed a beer, not caring what brand. I had a feeling today was going to go really bad, really fast. Someone shoved me, spilling half my beer on the floor. I turned around and glared at the head of blonde but that turned into a grimace when I saw who was under it.

"Oh my gosh! I'm like so sorry, I didn't see you there." Lauren's whiny voice attacked my ears. I clenched my jaw.

"Hello Lauren, how did you find out about this?" Maybe if I slip and pretend to break my back, I can get away from her... though actually breaking it will get me out of this party as well as away from the blonde she devil.

"-So like here I am." I quickly tuned back into her unimportant bullshit.

"Great, that's great. Yea, I've got to go and say hey to everyone, so... yea." I turned on my heels and walked into the opposite direction. I threw my almost empty beer in the trash as I passed by. One point goes to wanting to be in hell rather than here. I spotted Jasper by the fireplace with Embry and walked behind him. "Jasper, why couldn't we get someone, anyone, from New York to come?" I asked. I nodded a hello to Embry, who smiled back. "I don't think I can bear all these people without at least Rose here." I took the football from Jasper's hand and turned it around in mine.

Jasper turned around. "This would be short notice for them. Don't be so pessimistic, today will be fun. Enjoy yourself, take your mind off things." I quirked an eyebrow at him. I sighed and took the red cup – frat boy style all the way – from his hand and downed it in one.

"Drink. Drink heavily and everything will turn out fine." That's been my mantra quite a lot during my life and once again it was my mantra for the day. I placed the empty cup back in Jasper's hand and walked back to the kitchen. I reached for another beer then walked out to the back yard where a small herd of guys surrounded the grill. Of course.

"Do any of you guys smoke, and if so can I borrow one?" I asked as I reached the group.

"I don't think anyone in Forks smokes." Quil smiled. I threw the football at him.

"What about La Push?" I took a swing from my new bottle.

"Definitely not in La Push either." He threw the football to Jard and then laid two rows of burgers on the grill. Holy crap, how the fuck is that even humanly possible? "Since when did you smoke, Bella?"

"Uhh," I glanced at my watch. "Since four years ago."

"That's one smart watch if it can tell you that." Quil joked. I chuckled.

"Yup, it is." I looked over Quil's shoulder and noticed a huge fuck off guy. "You must be Sam, right?" The guy moved his head in my direction and nodded. Huh, dick.

"Sam Uley. You're the newcomer." His voice held a slight gravelly tone to it making it sound like a growl.

"Over five months isn't exactly a newcomer, but whatever makes you happy."

He nodded again, barely pulling a smile. "Yes. If you'll excuse me." He turned his back and walked back to the house with the rest of the herd following him. All that needed was a bannered logo and you've got yourself a cult.

"First you said that, now him. Do I have this aura or something that makes you guys walk away from me?"

"Oh, ignore him, he's always in a mood. Him and Leah did equal each other well." Quil smiled like it was a private joke. I looked at him confused. Well more up at him, the huge fucker he is.

"What'd you mean?" He looked mildly surprised.

"You don't know? Wow, I thought someone would've told you. Do you want the long story or short story?"

"Which one will explain everything better?"

"The long one."

"Long one then."

"Okay, long one it is. The two of them started dating around three years ago, everyone expected that of them, with them two knowing each other since day one and always close. They were the picture of love, gooey eyes and all – if you ask me it was sickening," He paused and flipped the burgers and added a row of hotdogs. "Two years later Sam popped the question and they were engaged, much to everyone's delight. Billy and the council held a celebratory bonfire for the two and everyone invited everyone, and Leah invited her cousin, Emily."

"Wait, Emily? Emily he's with now?" I asked.

"Yes, now don't interrupt." He waved his spatula at me. "As the night wore on, the drinks gathered and everything was great, Leah was happy, ecstatic really, Sam was happy, the 'doting' fiancé. Later on, no one could find Sam or Emily, so Leah went out looking for them and she did, together, on their way to having sex. Apparently the two have been... together half the time of his and Leah's relationship, all the 'business trips' up to Seattle were trips down to the Makah reservation – where she lived. Leah shouted, called them both all the names under the sun and then threw the ring at him, storming off. Sam wasn't everyone's favourite person for a few weeks after that. He tried to talk to Leah, apologize, try to dig himself out of the hole he put himself in but she wouldn't allow him. Sometime after that, Emily was attacked in the woods near Shipwreck Point by a bear and Sam nursed her back to health and... the rest is history." Quil piled the cooked burgers on a plate then threw some ribs on the grill.

"Wow," I never thought shit like that happened in real life. "You know, you could turn that into a book and make millions."

"Yea, it's probably the most scandalous thing that's happened around here in a long time." He dropped the spatula next to the grill and grinned at me. "See, we're not that dreary around here."

"True. Who knew a little town like this would have all this excitement? Leah doesn't seem that torn up about it, thought she'd never want to see either of them again."

"She was like that in the beginning, didn't even want to be in the same room as him, and it annoyed her even more when everyone seemed to have forgiven him and Emily for what happened not so soon after it happened. I think the only people who hadn't forgiven them was Sue, Seth and Jacob. I'm thinking the whole thing helped her cross over to the dark side."

"Yea, men do that to us." I told him. "I'll leave you to your grilling, Q tip." I patted his shoulder and walked back into the house. I hadn't seen Alice since Quil and Embry arrived and I wondered where she was. I finished my beer and placed it on the coffee table on my way to the stairs. I stepped a foot into my room when the bathroom door behind me opened. I turned around and came face to face with Seth... well, more face to chest actually. Seriously, what the hell is it with all these guys? Was La Push built on a radioactive wasteland?

"Seth, you're here."

"I noticed. How are you doing, Bella?" His cute little face grinned down at me. He was scrawny but still tall and quite cute. It'd be illegal if I tried anything but still, the principles there.

"Fine, you? Have you seen your sister?"

"Yup, she is downstairs somewhere. Last time I saw her, she was talking to a short, petite girl." I frowned before I matched up the description to someone I know; Alice. Ooh, this could turn bad.

"Thanks," I walked back downstairs and searched for either Alice or Leah. I couldn't find them so I went to Jasper. "Hey, homo, Embry, have you seen Alice or Leah?"

"No, I haven't, but maybe it'll be nice for 'em to meet each other." Jasper hinted. I narrowed my eyes.

"You're not going to help me with this, are you?"

"You know my thoughts and opinions on the matter; I won't change them." He didn't looked at me and continued talking to Embry.

"Thanks, you're a great help as always." I turned to Embry, who'd been quiet during the whole conversation. "Have you seen them?" He shook his head. "Great." I took Jasper's cup again and went back outside. I grabbed a cooked burger and took a bite. "You're working, stop, get someone else to do this."

"Don't worry, I'm almost finished." Quil took the skewed meatballs off the grill then flipped the last rib. I looked passed his shoulder and saw Leah and Alice talking near the tree line. Leah pointed towards me and Quil. Yea, this could definitely turn bad. I gave Quil my drink and joined Alice and Leah.

"Hey, I see you've met "

"Yes, Leah has been telling me about La Push. We should go to the beach one day." Alice smiled.

"Sure, one day when it's not pissing with rain. So, uhh, Leah, how was Makah?" I shifted so I kinda shielded Alice.

"The usual, I would've had more fun staying here." Leah smirked, raising a suggestive eyebrow.

"Yea, cause here is like party HQ. Why don't we all get some more drinks?" Alice led the way and I made Leah linger back a bit. "Have you told her anything... special?" I kept my voice low.

"About us? I didn't see a reason. Why are you worried, is she your girlfriend?" Leah laughed. "She is, isn't she? Oh, now _that_ is too good."

"No, but..." I sighed and stopped her short of the back door, Alice being distracted by someone from Forks to not notice us not following her. "It's complicated, okay?"

"Then what's the problem?" Leah backed me against the wall of the house. "You're not seeing Thumbelina over there, you're free as a bird and besides, haven't you heard of the great saying, 'what she doesn't know, won't hurt her'?" And then she kissed me like a son of a bitch, teeth and all. I was pretty tense and wasn't giving my usual all in response. "Come on, paleface, I was bored up there and could use some fun." She tried again and this time I relaxed and kissed back, digging my blunt nails into her sides.

I heard a few cat calls and whistles but it was the sharp intake of breath to my left that caught my attention. I knew who it was but it still didn't stop the cringe. I moved my head away, heavily breathing, and shifted a hesitant glance over to Alice. She looked... nothing. She didn't look angry, she didn't look upset, only a muscle in her jaw was all the reaction I got. She turned around and walked back into the house.

"Shit," I pushed Leah away and quickly followed Alice into the house. I pushed people out my way and looked for messy hair or pale skin. I'll tell you something; she could be an assassin with her blending skills. I jumped on the couch in between two people for a better view point, and saw the front door opening and closing. I jumped over the back and pushed more people out my way to get to the door. "Alice, wait for a sec." I caught Alice at the bottom of the porch, and moved to the first step.

"I need to do an errand in Port Angeles." She unlocked her rental car. "It's none of my business, Bella, go back inside."

"I know about the feelings." It was the only thing I could think of to stop her. She stilled and rested her hand on the frame of the open door. She sighed through her nose and dropped her head.

"It was a good kept secret. When did Jasper tell you?" She closed the door then leaned against it, lifting her head but keeping her eyes on my shoes.

"Earlier this week."

"That's why you've been flinching every time I touch you." She chuckled and shook her head.

"Why didn't you tell me? You had more than enough chances." I crossed my arms and leaned against the post.

She snorted. "And how was I to slip that little information out? 'Hey Bella, can you pass me the salt? Oh and by the way I've been in love with you since high school.' Yea, that would've worked out fabulously." She sarcastically replied.

"It would've been better to hear it that way then having to get it second handed from Jasper, drunk no less!" I exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked again.

"It would have ruined our friendship. You don't feel the same way. When you suggested friends with benefits, it was the perfect solution at the time. Over time, it became a familiar routine." She frowned and looked at me. "You sleeping with Leah isn't what hurts me the most; it's that you didn't tell me. I asked if you met someone and you said no. You could have told me, I wouldn't' of been angry."

"What, like you are now?" I pointed out.

"I'm allowed to be angry now."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a time limit on the pissed off meter." I seethed as I walked down the rest of the steps. I never did have the best control over my anger.

"No, no, you do _not_ get to be angry, you have nothing to be angry about."

"You're getting pissed at me for sleeping with someone else. I think I'm allowed to sleep with whoever I want, Alice. We're not together, we weren't even exclusive fuck buddies, remember? We set out this deal so we could have a little fun, nothing more and nothing less."

"You started this in the very beginning." She accused, pointing at me.

"And you agreed. You knew what you were walking into so don't you fucking dare blame me for everything."

"At least I had the dignity and self control to not go looking for the next pair of legs that walked by as soon as you turned your back." She spat at me. I glared at her, clenching my jaw to stop myself from saying something I'd regret later.

"You're pissed off so I'm going to ignore that." I stated as calmly as I could.

"I can't even... Ugh." She groaned, throwing her hands in the air. "You've made me feel like the other woman and I don't even know how that's possible!"

"I didn't mean to be!" I yelled at her, finally breaking. "Stop pulling the fucking guilt trip on me, will you? I fucked Leah, yes. We did it more than once, hell yes. Do I feel guilty about it? Only slightly. Jesus fucking Christ, I am sorry you saw that but we're," I gestured us. "Not in a relationship; I'm not cheating on you!" I shouted the whole thing and was now close to five feet away from her. I don't know why I was shouting, maybe to get the tension about this whole thing and my anger at me out. Sighing, I closed my eyes and ran my hand through my hair, forcing my fleeting anger to simmer down. "You know what, I'm even sorry about this whole friends with benefits thing cause it's not that anymore, it's not even a booty call. I'm more or less using you as my personal whore."

Alice stood her ground, the muscle in her jaw twitching. She started nodding her head slowly and a mocking smile flickered across her face. "You're right, I should have more respect for myself. I call off our 'agreement'. You can go back to your new whore, Leah, and not have me in the back of your mind making you feel only _slightly_ guilty." She turned and started opening her car door again. I caught the door before it closed, very nearly getting my hand trapped in the fucking thing, and pulled it back open.

"Wait one fucking minute there, Tinkerbell. You can't just drop that sort of bomb and then fuck off. Where the hell are you going anyway?"

"I'm going to a hotel and then getting on the first plane back to New York." She tried to closed the door but I tightened my grip on it. "Let go of the door." She gritted out calmly.

"Not until you answer my questions." I pulled the door out of her hand and fully open. I saw her take a deep breath and get out of the car. I thought I convinced her but before I could react I felt a rush of air and then pain across my face. It took me a second to understand what just happened. Turns out she hit me. She fucking hit me right in the face! I let go of the door and sunk to my knees, clutching my nose which had blood pouring from it at a nice pace. "Jesus tap dancing Christ, ow!" Blood seeped between my fingers and down my arm as the pain seemed to worsen, probably cause it fucking was.

"Goodbye, Bella," I heard Alice's voice but I couldn't focus on it completely since the dizziness was on the forefront of my mind. I slumped to the ground on my side and felt dirt hit me as Alice drove down the driveway.

At least my intuition is tuned.

**XxX**

**What do you think? Prefer this or the original? ****What do you think of the pacing, good, too fast? Have I cut out any lines you liked?**

**Review please, I really need some feedback.**


	11. Chapter 11

**This will be the last update until January probably. Even though I don't have a plan for Christmas, I know I'm going to be destroyed on alcohol through it all. Merry Christmas everyone, and to the people who believe the end is nigh, happy doomsday!**

**XxX**

I heard fast footsteps approaching me and half hoped it was Alice even though I heard her rental car drive off down the driveway, or a medic would do.

"Bella, are you okay? I heard shouting. Where's Alice?" Jasper placed his hand on my shoulder and pulled me back to my knees. "What's wrong?" He's fucking kidding right? He must've known what all the shouting was about.

"I took your advice, and I told Alice everything and as you can probably guess she was pissed. Where is she now? Probably just checked into a hotel before she books an earlier flight to New York." I groaned and gently pressed the palm of my hand against the side of my nose, trying to stop the bleeding that seemed to be coming thick and fast. "Fuck, it hurts."

"That's an overreaction for you. We'll get Alice back before she gets on that plane. All she needs is a little time to gather her thoughts."

"No you homo, my nose. Alice hit me just before she left, it won't stop bleeding."

"Really? Okay let me see." He tilted my head back. "Remove your hand." My hand dropped to the ground and the blood ran more freely. I could feel it touching the top of my lip. "Oh my lord!... Did she hit you with a baseball bat?" He poked the bridge of my nose.

"Ow!" I flinched away from him and glared. "That hurts, you dick!"

"She may have broken your nose, we need you to go to the hospital."

"What are you, a doctor now?"

"Does this hurt?" _Again_ he poked my nose.

"Fucking stop! You poke my nose one more fucking time and I'm going to snap your arm." I grabbed his arm and pulled him down to face level.

"A yes or no would suffice perfectly fine." I glared at him. "Bella, I think it's broken we have to get you to A&E."

"No, no hospitals." I have a weird thing about hospitals, as he well knows. I got to my feet even though the ground seem to be shaking. Wait actually, I think that might be me. "How long have they been there?" When I turned around, everyone seemed to be at the windows of the house, obviously watching the fun. I'm surprised they didn't have their noses pressed against the glass.

"Awhile. Come on, I won't take you to the hospital but we have to at least put some ice on your nose." Jasper slid an arm under my arms and half dragged me to the house. "Shows over people." Jasper propped me up against the island and grabbed a paper towel, pressing it against my nose. "Keep the pressure, hopefully it'll stop the bleeds." He opened the fridge and grabbed the ice pack.

"Soap opera's finished, everyone get out." No one moved. "Fucking now!" I ordered loudly. Everyone started heading for the door, albeit begrudgingly. "If I find anything stolen, I'll track you down and beat the crap out of you with it." I slid down to the floor and sighed, "All I can taste is blood."

"I'm not surprised. Your eye's blackening already." He gently pressed the ice pack on the bridge of my nose. I groaned.

"Oh fuck, that feels so nice." I covered his hand and pressed the ice more on my nose. He moved my hand that was still holding the tissue away from my nose and gently poked it – yet a-fucking-gain. "Mother of fuck, can you stop poking my nose? It hurts when you do that. Do you not realize that?" I growled at him while glaring.

"It's broken, we have to take you to the hospital, now." He threw the half blood soaked ball of tissue and grabbed my hand, trying to pull me off the floor. I went limp. I learnt that trick a long time ago.

"No it's fine, just swollen." He kept tugging my hand. "What the hell are trying to do, pull my arm off and make it a matching set?"

"You're going to the hospital one way or another." He threatened.

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Fucking hell, we'll be here all night at this rate. How about this, if my nose still hurts tomorrow and or bleeding we'll go to the hospital, deal?"

"That's the best I'm going to get out of you isn't it?" I nodded. He sighed. "Stubborn woman. Fine, deal." He dropped my hand which fell limp at my side.

"Score one for me." I smiled then tilted my head back, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"What are you doing?" Jasper asked confused.

"It's like a nose bleed, just bigger. So tilt the head back and pinch the nose and hopefully, it'll stop in a couple of minutes."

"I don't think it works like that."

"Well, I'm treating it as such so... there." I said vaguely.

"She must of done some serious damage if you can't argue like... well, you."

"What's the word I'm looking for? Umm... oh yes, fuck you."

"Obviously not enough damage." He moved out of my line of sight and returned shortly after with another roll of tissue. "You're bleeding nose theory isn't working." He wiped the blood off my lips and pressed the tissue on my nostrils.

"What are you trying to do, suffocate me?" My voice came out nasally.

"It'd take more than some tissue to shut you up." I flipped him the bird. "Charming."

"That's me." He lifted me under my arms and lead me to the couch, sitting down next to me.

"So," He said after a few minutes of silence. "Are we going to talk about what you said to Alice to make her react so... strongly."

"That's a lovely way of saying she kicked my ass." I grumbled.

"Yea, it was funny." He chuckled under his breath. I glared at him. "I'm sorry but it was. Seeing this tiny 5'2 girl bring a 5'7 to her knees, literally."

"Hey, I've brought her to her knees time and time again, if you must know."

"No, I didn't need to know that. Stop avoiding the subject, what did you say to Alice?" He pressed. I sighed

"Nothing, okay? I told her about Leah, that's it." I shrugged. Jasper raised an eyebrow in scepticism.

"Really? That's all? I could understand if Alice was pissed at you but to punch you? No, I don't believe."

I groaned in frustration. "Okay, what did I say?... I told her I knew she loved me. I told her about Leah-"

"Wait one second," He interrupted me. "How did she find out in the first place? You obviously didn't come out and say it in one rush of guilt, even though you should have." He said quietly to himself.

"Will you ever let that go? She knows, its out there, shouldn't you be happy?"

"No, I'm not! You could of prevented all of this. I tried to but you were too stubborn to do anything!" He slammed his fist on the coffee table. My eyes widened. I've never seen him this angry, he was always the mellow guy that kept the peace. "You want to know what annoys me the most about this? That you don't seem to be at all bothered by this, that you're not taking' responsibility and not blaming' yourself. Forget it." Jasper turned sharply and walked up the stairs and a few seconds later I heard his bedroom door slam shut. I sighed and dropped the ice pack and tissues on the couch. That's two people I've pissed off today, I wonder if I can do a hat trick. Okay... okay responsibility, lets try that.

I stood up with intent, had to sit down again cause of head rush, and searched for my keys, which took ten minutes – bastards are always good at playing hide and seek – and drove to the closest and only hotel in Forks. I'm sure I looked pretty as a picture when I walked through the lobby; eye purplish, nose swollen, dry blood around my nose and my lip and some smears of blood on my long sleeve where I had to keep wiping away the blood that didn't seem to understand that it needed to stop.

"Hey, is Alice Brandon staying here?" I asked. Just my fucking luck, Jessica was behind the desk and looked horrified by my appearance. Didn't think I looked that bad.

"Bella, what happened to you?" I knew she wasn't asking out of concern and kindness from her heart, but to get a nice scoop she could broadcast all over town. Shame she wasn't there with a front row seat, I'm sure her mind would've exploded.

"Nothing of huge importance. Is Alice Brandon here?" I stretched out. Jessica turned to the ancient computer that looked like you had to shovel coal in for it to work and looked up the check in records.

"No, sorry she's not here. Why are you looking for her? If you don't mind answering." She played the innocent card. Once again trying to get something to gossip about.

"Just looking, thanks for the help." I turned and marched out of the 'hotel'.

Next stop, Port Angeles.

"Is a Alice Brandon staying here?" I asked shortly, using up all my politeness with Jessica and the two hotels I went to beforehand. The guy behind the counter, maybe in his forties and was slightly balding on top, gave me a once over and I saw his lips turn down in a not so covered up grimace.

"I am sorry, but I'm not allowed to give you that information." Sorry? Sorry my fucking ass. I pushed out a breath. Calm down, you can't kill him, you've got enough trouble at the moment.

"Please, it's an emergency. Our brother is in the hospital and I can't reach her on her cell. I heard she was staying here so please, tell me if she's here or not." I've got to say that was pretty fucking good for off the top of my head, especially since half my brain is on the front lawn along with my nose. Annoying bastard, as I've lovingly named him, looked doubtful but turned to his computer and searched recent check ins.

"No, I'm sorry but there is no Alice Brandon on the database." He glanced at me before turning back to his computer. I bet you he's playing solitaires. I rubbed my fingers over my forehead, trying to push away the headache.

"Okay... What about Mary Alice Brandon? She might of used her full name." I heard him sigh before clicking on keys started. A few minutes later I was ready to grab the computer and throw it at him.

"Yes, there is a woman staying here of that name. Do you want me to call her room and tell her to expect you?" He asked, still looking at the computer, going back to his game of solitaires.

"No, just give me the number of the room." I demanded as politely as I could.

"Room 183." I was up the stairs before he barely finished his sentence. I was taking two steps at a time and narrowly missing people. I had to go back a few doors since I ran passed Alice's and placed a hand on it, breathing quickly. I knocked on the door before I realized what I was doing. What the fuck was I planning to say? I'm sorry? Not the best start, shit even, and it's not going to fix everything but it's a start. The door opened slowly and revealed Alice whose face was washed of all make up and eyes where rimmed red. As soon as she realized who was standing on the other side of the door she slammed it shut.

"Oh fucking hell," I turned the door handle and when that didn't work I knocked on the door again. "Alice, please open the door." I said loudly, hoping it carried through the door. "Please. I'm sorry okay? It was a one time thing, it just happened." I noticed people staring at me as they passed through the hallway. "Can you open the door? I'm starting to feel stupid, people are staring at me." I laid my head on the door. Awhile passed, five minutes, probably more, and the door still hadn't opened. I sighed and stepped back from the door. "I give up; can't win a losing war." I dabbed my nose with the end of my sleeve when I felt a bit of blood drip. I was walking down the stairs when I heard a door open. I didn't get my hopes up, it could be any door opening in this crappy ass hallway.

"Bella?" I knew I had those stupid hoping puppy dogs eyes as soon as I turned to look at her. "Tell Jazz to bring my clothes and my phone over." With that she shut her door behind her. I scooped up my pride off the floor and shove it in my pocket before slinking off.

"Did you find your sister's room?" Annoying bald fucker asked. I nodded and walked out the double doors. I stopped at the liquor store and got a pack of Lucky strikes and some cider before going back home.

"Where did you run off to?" Jasper was making coffee in the kitchen and was the picture perfect of a housewife. I opened the pack of cigarettes and walked passed him to turned on the stove. I placed the cigarette between my lips and bent down until the end caught alight. "You're smoking _again_?"

"Yes. I think I'm allowed to with the day I'm having." I turned off the shove and blew a ring of smoke in Jasper's face. "And where I 'ran' off to? I went to see Alice at the hotel."

"You took my advice?" He sounded shocked.

"Believe it or not, I do that every once in a blue moon." I walked through to the living room and fell ungracefully on the couch. "I wouldn't call it advice... more like shouting at me." I flicked ash in one of the red cups that covered almost every inch of the coffee table. I'm grateful he didn't demand I smoke outside.

"It worked." He sat beside me. "How did the talk go?"

"I'm sitting on the couch with you, smoking, how do you think it went?" I exhaled the smoke out of my nose, which wasn't the best thing to do.

"You don't have to be a bitch because she rejected you." He commented.

"Low blow, homo." I dropped the half smoked cigarette and heard the hiss as it hit the liquid.

"I don't understand how easy it was for you to find her, wouldn't she of made sure you or I wouldn't of been able to find her?"

"There's only one hotel in this town and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be in it since it's a shit hole to put it in the lightest sense. She was in Port Angeles. She was under a different name though, so she was trying to hide." I informed him.

"Under what name?" He reached forward and grabbed a cup and took a sip from it.

"Mary Alice Brandon." He looked confused. "Mary Alice is her real name, she prefers just Alice." I elaborated.

"I never knew that." He looked around the empty, messy room and sighed. "I think we ought to not celebrate your birthday, late or on time, from now on." I chuckled and agreed.

I sighed and my head fell on his shoulder. "I'm sorry I was a bitch."

"I'm sorry I shouted at you." He wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"Sorry about fucking everything up."

"I'm sorry if it felt like I was trying to control your life."

"Yea, well I'm sorry that I don-"

"This isn't a contest Bella. Lets leave it at we're both sorry and won't take anger out on each other again." I smiled and nodded in agreement.

"Before I forget, Alice wants you to bring her clothes and everything to the hotel."

"Do you want to deliver them?" He asked. I snorted.

"Oh yea, and have the door slammed in my face again. You know I'm not good with rejection." I pointed out.

"What? You've been rejected before and I haven't seen you brake down or burst into tears."

"I haven't done either of those this time around. But it's different with Alice. She's a friend." I heard him hum. "What does that mean?" I straightened up and looked at him. He looked back innocently.

"Nothing."

"I call bullshit on that. You haven't said anything about this all week and now it seems the water gates are opening; what the hell's that about?"

"You... Alice... together...Understand where I'm coming from?" I gave him a blank stare. He sighed. "You love Alice, even though you don't realize it. Alice loves you. You two should be together in a relationship." He said in a this is Jim, watch Jim run, kind of way. I burst out laughing.

"Seriously? Me and Alice? As in happily ever after together?" I held in my laugh. "Right, why don't we walk up to Mike Tyson and say he talks funny."

"It is not stupid. You two are great together and you don't even know it."

"Oh come on Jasper!" I stood up. "It's like Chevrolet making a car where the bumper doesn't fall off after seven months; they can do it but no ones that fucking stupid."

He sighed and tiredly looked at me. "Why are you so against this, Bella?"

"Because it's fucking stupid."

"What's so stupid about it? That you'd be in a happy relationship? That you might actually end up loving her?" He counted off each thought on his fingers.

"It shouldn't happen and it won't happen." I insisted. I'll make sure it doesn't happen. I've bottled up my emotions half my life and I can do it again, one more for the team and all that.

"Why?"

"Because." I threw back.

"Because what?" He asked again. I groaned and ran my hands through my hair, roughly.

"Because I don't deserve her!" I shouted. "I don't understand why she loves me, and she shouldn't. She can get someone so much better than me, and she will, because I won't start any relationship with her. I've even stopped our 'arrangement'."

"I think the arrangement stopped itself when she caught you with Leah." He pointed out. I glared at him.

"See, you did know how she found out, I don't know why you asked me." I pulled out another cigarette. "It's not going to happen Jasper, as much as you want a happily ever after for us, it. Is. Not. Going. to. Happen." I stretched out.

"Because you won't let it happen."

"For good reason. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to smoke up in my room. Don't forget to bring Alice her shit." I heard him groaned in frustration as I walked up to my room. I grabbed my secret ashtray and lighter from the bottom draw of my bedside table and sat down in the middle of my bed. I was halfway through my cigarette when Jasper walked in my room – without knocking. "Hey, homo, what are you doing?"

"I'm getting Alice's 'shit' as you so lovingly put it." He moved to my wardrobe and started pulling out Alice's clothes.

"Knock yourself out." I inhaled and flicked some ash in the ashtray.

"My lord, it's like talking to a brick wall, though I think I might be able to get more of a response out of the wall." He bagged the rest of Alice's clothes and closed the wardrobe's door.

"Mhmm, probably." I stubbed out my cigarette.

I heard him sigh, "I don't know why I bother." He left my room afterwards.

I was sitting on the couch when Jasper returned. "Let me guess, Alice let you into her hotel room and she cried her eyes out while telling you how much of a bastard I am, correct?"

"To a degree, yes."

"Great," I dead panned. I glanced at my watch. "Since it's just passed 7:30, I'm going to Port Angeles and hitting a bar." I stood up and stretched.

"Going to pick a girl?" Obviously he didn't like the idea. I rolled my eyes.

"No, I'm not. If you must know, I want a drink but I don't want to see anyone from La Push, so The Den is out of the question." I grabbed my jacket and keys. "See ya later, Jasper." I slammed the door shut behind me. I arrived at Port Angeles in record time and walked into the first bar I saw. First word that jumped from my mind as soon as I walked in was, dive bar. I smiled and sat down at the end of the bar.

"What can I get you, good lookin'?" The bartender grinned at me. I rolled my eyes.

"A better line than that and a Corona." I smirked back. He laughed and nodded.

"For a beautiful lady like you, of course. Right after I see your I.D." I sighed and slid my drivers licence over to him. He took it, looked at the card then slid it back to me.

"You just passed. You look like you've had a rough day." I smiled nodding and pocketed my licence.

"Whatever gave you that idea?" He went to grabbed my beer and I dropped a ten dollar bill on the bar.

"So what's a girl like you doing in a place like this?" He quipped when he placed my beer in front of me, taking the money.

I snorted taking a sip from the bottle. "Need a better line." He looked thoughtful and went to change my bill.

"Okay what about this," Coming back, he poured my change in my open hand and leaned against the bar. "Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?" I groaned.

"Jesus, how old is your chat up line book?"

"I got it free with a rubix cube." I chuckled. "I'm Fred."

"Bella." I shook his hand. "So, what can I expect from this place? No roofies in my drink right?" Fred shook his head and chuckled.

"No, no absolutely not. Though I guarantee you, you'll walk out of this place with someone on your arm and..." Fred leaned over and bent his head. "You're looking at one of the possibilities." I chuckled.

"You're not really my type Freddie. Sorry."

"Aww, why not?" He faked pouted.

"You don't have the... requirements." I patted his cheek. "Sorry Chief." I grinned at him.

"Life's hardly fair, is it?"

"Nope,. but you get use to it." We talked and joked some more before he had to go back to work. The night wore on and Fred brought me drinks, coming up with a cheesier chat up line than the one before. I didn't pay attention to who sat next to me until I noticed a slim olive tone leg at the corner of my eye. I turned my head slightly and my eyes almost popped out of my head and rolled across the floor. Long slender legs that I just wanted to lick the length of, curvy body wrapped up in a skin tight dress that just ended at her knees, very nice endowed... assets. I glanced at her face and saw her staring at me, eyebrow raised. I smiled, embarrassed and looked down.

"Ciao." The voice of sex itself talked to me. I looked back up and found sexy Italian chick smiling at me.

"Hey. Sorry about that, I was... lost in thought." I cleared my throat and extended my hand. "I'm Bella."

"Heidi, nice to meet you." She said in a heavy Italian accent, squeezing my hand gently. I had to chew the inside of my cheek to stop myself from groaning. I don't know what the hell it is but accents, any accents, just... fuck, they do it for me.

"May I buy you a drink?" Ain't I a smooth fucker?

"Grazie. Whiskey on the rocks." I threw a beer coaster at Fred which hit him in the shoulder.

"A Whiskey on the rocks and I'll have the same again, thanks Freddie." He rolled his eyes and went off to make the drinks. I turned in my seat and faced Heidi.

"You seem very friendly with the barkeeper." Heidi noted.

"I've only met him tonight. How long have you been in America?"

"I am visiting relatives before I leave for Venice to start my modelling career." She took a sip from the remains of her drink.

"Ah, an aspirating model. Who would you like to model for?" I circled the lip of my bottle with the tip of my index.

"I would like to be with Gucci but I will need to climb the ladder. I'd be fond to start modelling with Victoria's Secret." Fred came back with our drinks and discreetly looked at Heidi. He then looked at me and raised his eyebrows. I nodded. 'Wow' he mouthed. I chuckled under my breath.

"Wow, big dreams." I clinked my glass against hers. "Cheers." I swallowed half my drink in one.

"Evviva." She grabbed her glass and drank. I called for Fred and told him to bring another round. The rest of the night went in the same pattern; more drinks, more drinks, Heidi trying to teach me words in Italian, which went completely wrong, more drinks... quite blurry at that portion of the night, clothes quickly being torn off and Heidi talking dirty to me in lovely, sexy, Italian.

**XxX**

**I remember someone telling me in the reviews something about the modelling thing was wrong. I can't remember what they said so it's going to have to stay wrong. Sorry bout that.**

**Give me an early Christmas present and send me a review.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I think it's fair to say that I don't remember anything from Christmas day to New years. Thank you everyone who reviewed, not just over the holidays but since chapter one and the original draft.**

**I heard the first stupidity of this year when I was in Game, we all know what Game is, right? Well, I was waiting in line, and two blokes were behind me, 17 or 18, and one said to the other 'you know the Templars in AC? I found out that they're really real' and the other moron said 'no way. Does that mean assassins and the Animus is real?' It took everything in me not to turn around and beat them to death with whatever the hell I was buying.**

**I own nothing but loads of Xbox games and a fucked controller.**

**XxX**

Heavy rain hitting a window woke me up. I rolled over and ended up hitting the floor. I groaned and rolled on my back. A ceiling fan rotated slowly above me and I frowned. I don't have a ceiling fan... I looked to the right and saw a small silver mini bar. I sat up slowly, cringing at the motion and looked around the room. White walls with one or two pictures on them, a small flat screen TV mounted on the wall, a half desk shoved in the corner of the room with... something on top of it. I stood up and walked over to the table and picked up the fold piece of paper.

_We welcome you to our hotel with this bottle of wine. We hope you enjoy your stay._

Fuck, I've slept with someone haven't I? How the fuck did I pull with this fucked up face?

"You're up." I jumped out of my skin and dropped the note. A dark haired woman was wrapped in a towel and was drying her hair with another one. Okay that answers that question.

"Hey..." What's her name? "How are you?" I crossed my arm over my chest and that's when I noticed I was naked. I grabbed the bed sheet and quickly covered myself. She smiled.

"Favoloso. Especially after last night." She walked closer to me til she was pressed against me. "You made me see heaven with your talents." Dropping her towel, she threaded her fingers through my hair and ran her nose up my throat to my temple. I swallowed heavily and pushed out an anxious laugh.

"I aim to please." My voice cracked. I felt her lips pull up into a smirk then kissed my ear.

"Do you want to join me for breakfast?" She asked, toying with my ear.

"I'd... I'd love to but," I glanced at my watch. "Holy shit, I'm going to be late for work." I searched for my clothes – finding my panties over a lamp and my bra in the bathroom; do not ask. "Look, I'd love to stay and chat but I really have to go."

"I understand." She grabbed my hand, still completely naked, and wrote her number on my palm. "Call me and we'll see if you can remember next time." I looked at my hand, trying to find a way I could hide it and spotted her name written by my thumb.

"Heidi." I sounded so relieved. "Yea, I'll call you and see if you're still here, Heidi." I kissed Heidi's cheek before bolting out the room... Straight into Alice. Sweet fucking Christ, you are not loving me today are you?

"Bella." Alice addressed me coldly. "I know that look; I know that walk. Have fun?"

"I... don't remember." No point denying it.

"You're not one for drunken one night stands. Tell me, is she still asleep? Leave a 'I'll call you' note?"

"Since when have I ever done that? Just because you're pissed off at me, doesn't mean you get to be a bitch and make up fucking fake stories about me."

"I think being a bitch to you is one of the rights I get after you cheat."

"Those terms and conditions only count when you're in a relationship." I told her. "And that never happened with us, as much as you wanted to. Poor you." Probably not the best thing to say. I barely saw her hand coming at me in time to grab her wrist. "Ah ah ah. You know how much I hate it when you're violent." She ripped her hand from my hold.

"Why are you acting like such a bastard?" She glared at me.

"You know, you said that me knowing about your feelings towards me would ruin our friendship but you're ruining it by doing this." I gestured between us.

Alice blinked. "Excuse me?" She spluttered. "It's my fault now? Oh that is so you, Bella! It's never your fault when something goes wrong, it _has _to be someone else. I didn't force your tongue down Leah's throat or between her legs!"

"I didn't mean it like that." I tried to explain myself but Alice cut me off.

"How else did you mean it? You blamed me for your weak self control." She shouted.

"Will you quiet down? People are still sleeping."

"It's 12:35. Most people are at work and have not been awake most of the night."

"Whatever, it doesn't matter. What I meant was that I know you Alice, as much as you don't want me to right now, I do, and I know what you're going to do. You're going to disappear and I won't see you for fuck knows how long and what's left of our friendship will be long dead and buried."

"And whose fault is that? Yours." She bent down and picked up a pair of bags I just noticed. "If you'll excuse me, I have a plane to board."

"Alice, wait please. Please Ali cat."

"Do not call me that." She glared at me.

"Okay. " I raised my hands in surrender. "Please though, Alice. I'm still the same person who helped you shave Jasper's eyebrows that Christmas, and gave you that sacred heart necklace. People make mistakes, and this sure as shit isn't my first fuck up." I tried to smile. "Please forgive me?" Alice stared at me for a few minutes in silence before she sighed.

"No. I can't." With those parting words, Alice walked down the hallway and out my sight. I would say... think? Which ever, out of my life but that sounds too cliché doesn't it? I sighed and leaned against the wall closest to me. I pulled out my phone and called Billy to tell him I'm not coming to work before I drove home. I crept up the steps and opened and closed the door as quietly as I possibly could.

"Good afternoon." I nearly jumped out of my skin. I turned around, my hand on my chest.

"Jesus, Jasper. You scared the shit out of me."

"I thought you weren't goin' to pick up a girl." He was tapping his foot and I pictured him wearing a pink bathrobe with curlers in his hair and wearing one of those face mask things; picture perfect of a pissed off mother...or wife.

"Don't you start, Jasper. It was bad enough that Alice shouted at me for it." I sighed and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a mug and pouring warmish coffee.

"You saw Alice? What happened? Where is she?" Jasper was right on my heels. I sat down on one of the stools.

"I went to this bar in Port Angeles, became quick friends with the bartender – you'd like him a lot, I don't think he's gay but still he's a great laugh."

"Don't try to side track me." I ran a hand through my hair.

"Fine. I had a couple of drinks," Jasper gave me a look. "Okay, a lot of drinks. I met this woman, Heidi, we talked, we drank more and I ended up at her hotel room... it's kinda fuzzy after that, and a bit before that."

"And?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.

"And what?" I drank my coffee.

"I'm assumin' you didn't walk into Alice's room and screw this Heidi in front of her."

"I woke up, said bye to Heidi," I decided to skip the whole naked thing. "And when I left the room I ran into Alice who chewed out my ass before she left to get her flight."

"Flight? She's at the airport?" I nodded. Jasper leaned over and slapped my forehead. I flinched back.

"Ow! What the fuck?" I rubbed the sting. "Can people stop hitting me?"

"You let her go? What the hell is wrong with you? Go after her." He pulled me out of my chair and pushed me towards the door. I dug my heels into the floor, pushing back.

"No! I'm not going to do that rush to the airport and make a giant scene at the gate where we both break down in tears and everything comes out, then we live happy ever after."

"My lord, you are so stubborn. Okay, okay fine, how about this; if you won't fight for the relationship that's within your reach, then fight for the friendship. She is your closest friend, more than I ever will be. You know things about her no one else knows and I'm positive visa versa."

"Jasper, you know everything there is about me."

"I don't know your darkest secrets."

"And what makes you think Alice knows?"

"I just do. Now go and stop her." He pushed me towards the door again. I sighed.

"Homo, stop. It's not going to happen, she doesn't want it to happen. She told me at the hotel." I smiled sadly. "I'm sorry Jasper, but it's never going to happen; it's wishful thinking."

Jasper told me Alice arrived back in New York safely when he received her text. I tried to call her but it was ignored, three times. I scrubbed off Heidi's number, along with a layer of skin, and went outside to smoke my lungs to a healthy pale black, the rain not bothering me. Jasper came out to reason with me one more time before giving up and going to work – I gave my keys up without much of a fight.

I went to Leah's house, getting a ride from Mike, and spent two hours distracting myself. Seth came home a minute after me and Leah came downstairs and told us the guys were having a bonfire. I joined them later at the beach that night and found Jasper already there, talking with Embry and Quil. I talked to most of the people there, none of them bringing up my bruised face or what they saw and or heard about. I drank four bottles of beer and listened to the tribe stories that came with the bonfire. Apparently it was a regular thing.

I leaned my head on the passenger window, slightly tipsy, as Jasper drove us home.

"Jasper," I heard him hum. "Have you ever done something you wish you could go back and change?"

"Somethin' I regret? Yes, of course. We all do somethin' we regret, many things we regret, but that's life." Jasper patted my knee. "We'll sort things out, no matter how long it takes, but you have to help me help you."

I stayed silent the rest of the ride and went up to bed when back home.

The next two weeks were uneventful, me and Jasper went to work, Alice was only mentioned once or twice, Leah and I went back to our usual routine, and whenever I did try to call Alice, it was ignored. Oh, and Rose called me the the day after Alice went back, thoroughly tearing me a new one and threatening if she ever saw me again, she'd gladly put me in a hospital. I think we're back on bad terms.

I was over at Leah's and stood up from the couch.

"Look," I ran my hand through my hair, pulling a knot free. "I don't think we should continue this... thing."

"Us having sex? Okay," Leah stretched out on the couch and turned over the TV channel. "So, what's the deal? Found someone else? You look like you hop from woman to woman."

"Uhh, no, no one new." I was slightly offended even though it was kinda true.

"Celibacy? I warn you, it's not as fun as it's made out to be. Come back when you're bored, I might let you in." She sent me a glance then turned her attention back to the TV. I nodded once and left the house, getting in the car and drove back home. The indifferent dismissal bruised my ego a bit and a little part of my dignity. Is this what Alice felt? Fuck, no wonder she hit me.

**XxX**

**Next up is... Bella and Jasper going to NYC.**

**I've hit a slight, but quite thick, wall in my story. I've finally got 'round to writing the scene that's been in my head since I started writing this pain in the arse thing, and now I don't know where to go. Thankfully there's a few chapters before we reach that bit so I've got some time to think something up. But just as a heads up, don't be surprised if I don't update for awhile after 9 chapters.**

**Review please, and if you're in a generous mood, kick a review over to my other story.**


	13. Chapter 13

**I've been looking at the story stats, and the Australians have overtaken the Canadians in views. Come on, Canadians, show them Ozzies how you do things in the Great White North.**

**I'm not a big fan of this chapter, but it's something right?**

**XxX**

3 months later.

_Hi, this is Alice, leave your message after the beep. Unless you're Bella and if you are, stop calling me. _Beep.

I sighed and ended the call, sliding my phone back in my pocket.

Three... four? Three long ass months of not seeing or hearing from Alice. I tried to call her thousands of times but she ignored them all. I sent her early Christmas/forgive me presents but she sent them back. I even tried to get Jasper, and the guys in NY to get her to talk to me but that didn't end well. As far as I can tell, I'm not going to see her until something close to a near death accident happens and knowing my luck, it'd be me and I'll die just as she's walking through the door. Dark thought or what?

"Hey outsider! Wanna come out of fairy land and do some fucking work?" Paul shouted through the kitchen window. I picked up the plates of food. "Still hung up on that girl who dumped your ass?" I glared at him.

"Shut the fuck up before I skin you like the dog you are." I spat.

"Aww, did I hit a nerve?" He smirked. I calmly placed the plates back on the counter then reached over and punched him in the face. He cried out and clutched the side of his face. "You fucking dyke!"

"Oh, you did not just fucking call me that." I punched him again.

"That's it." He disappeared for a moment before he reappeared and more or less charged at me. He grabbed the front of my shirt and threw me against the wall. I hit it with a thud and winced, losing a lung full of air. I threw another punch but Paul grabbed my wrist and twisted it, painfully. In an automatic reaction, I raised my knee and connected with his balls. He cursed loudly, dropping my wrist and fell to the ground. I kicked him in the stomach once for good measure.

"Hey, hey, hey! What's going on here?" Billy wheeled out and in between us.

"That bitch punched me." Paul muttered on the floor.

"That homophobic bastard started it." I defended, glaring at the fucker still on the floor.

"I don't care who started it," Billy grabbed Paul's arm and pulled him up off the floor. "Paul, go take a rest at the bar and Bella, go wait in my office." I nodded and walked to his office.

"Looks like the outsider is getting fired." I heard Paul remarked, albeit weakly, behind me.

"Least I didn't get my ass kicked by a girl half my size." I said without turning around. I walked into Billy's office and sat down in the one big ass overstuffed chair. A couple of minutes later, Billy came into the room and sat behind the untidy as hell desk.

"Bella, this is the second time this _week_ I have had to warn you; one more and I'll have to fire you, and I don't want to do that."

"He started it." I'll tell you something, he or she started it, is the most childish defence in the history of man.

"I don't care. I only have two rules in my bar: No fighting and no letting your personal life effect you work, and you've broken both of them, several times." He sighed and rested his hands on his desk. "I'm sorry but I'll have to suspend you for two weeks without pay. Hopefully by then whatever is wrong will be sorted."

"Seriously?" I stared at him, incredulously. "The dickhead calls me a dyke, I punch him and I'm the only one that gets punished?"

"I should be firing you but you do a good job and everyone seems to like you. I am sorry but it's the only loophole I can think of."

I sighed and stood up, taking out my notepad and pen from my back pocket and dropped them on the desk. "Okay, whatever you say, Chief. See you whenever." I waved at Billy and walked out the office into the bar.

"Everybody say bye bye to the outsider, she's been fired." Paul almost sang with delight. I glared at him.

"No I didn't, dickhole, but since I'm on suspension I can do this without getting fired," I stepped in front of him and punched him in the stomach making him hunch over, groaning. "See ya later, Q tip" I smiled at Quil who looked confused and a little shocked. I pulled out my Lucky Strikes from my leather jacket and sighed as I felt the fire in the back of my throat.

I slid in my car and skidded out of the dirt parking lot. I almost crashed into the side of the house as I pulled up – a squirrel tried to cut me off – then walked into the house.

"What are you doin' home so early?" Jasper jumped off the couch. I sighed and dropped my keys in the bowl and sat in the replaced inflatable chair, flicking ash in the ashtray that was wedged in the cup holder.

"I got suspended from work–."

"You got fired?!" Jasper screeched like a banshee. I stubbed out my smoke and leaned back in my chair, it squeaking underneath me.

"No, I got _suspended_ for two weeks because I fought Paul."

"What?! Are you insane? You're lucky you didn't get fired."

"That fucking bastard started it." I insisted, pulling out a cigarette and light it.

"What did he say?" He sat back down on the couch, not before pulling the cigarette from my mouth.

"He made a comment about Alice and then called me a dyke." He nodded in understanding.

"Okay that's reasonable, but you only punched him once, yes?" I looked down. "Right?"

"I... kneed him in the balls and kicked him in the stomach," I picked at my fingernails. "... And may, _may_, have punched him once more before I left."

"Oh, you're killin' me here! You're goin' to end up fired in no time if you keep actin' like th–." The house phone rang loudly, cutting Jasper off from his bitch rant. He walked to the kitchen and found the phone buried under pile of newspapers and magazines. "Hello?... Hi Rose, how are you?... I'm fine... No, she hasn't."

"Hey Rose." I shouted. I grabbed the remote and turned the channel to Wladimir Klischko fighting Mariusz Wach. Round three and Klischko was beating the crap out of the Polish.

"Bella says hi. Uhh, have you heard anythin' from... no?" I heard him sigh. "Okay. Why the call? I'm sure it's not only to talk to your favourite person in the world." Jasper gasped and started squealing. I looked at him bemused. "Oh my lord, when's the date?... I can't wait, we're comin' up this week. I'll see you soon." He put the phone on top of the pile then bounced his way over to me, squealing. Now he chooses the time to be gay?

"Was that some dolphin emergency? Did Flipper die?" I got up and went to the kitchen.

"No, stop bein' so sarcastic. Rose and Emmett are engaged!" He clapped his hands together. I raised an eyebrow.

"Want to try that again a little more manly?"

"Didn't you hear me? Rose and Emmett are gettin' married, aren't you excited?"

"I already knew." I poured a bowl of Fruitloops and turned on the coffee machine.

"What? How? When?" Jasper deflated a bit and leaned against the counter.

"Alice told me in Vegas. Em asked her for advice on how to go about it." I shrugged.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't _she_ tell me?"

"I was sworn to secrecy, and I asked if anything was happening in New York." I grabbed a mug and filled it with coffee. "So, what was that about going to New York this week? Do you have the money to fly us there on the day?"

"I'm not payin' for the both of us; I paid for Vegas. If I spend more money on that card, it'll melt." Saying it like it was the most obvious thing is the world, he reached under the pile and flipped through a Cosmo, "We'll pay for the flights out of our bank accounts, simple."

"Sure, I just won't eat for a month." I sat back in my chair and replaced the ashtray for the mug, and wedged it into the cup holder.

"How much do you think these tickets will cost?" He followed me with a mug of his own.

"Take into account that I don't eat that much, whatever the ticket costs could feed me for a month, hell probably two months." I started eating the Fruitloops.

"You need to eat more and drink less." He sighed.

"What the hell am I doing right this second?" I leaned forward and placed my bowl on the table and grabbed the laptop "Cattle class okay with you?" Jasper glared at me. I chuckled. "You're such a snob Jasper. You're a Texan, shouldn't you be fine on horseback with loads of natives on your ass, and not in the good way?"

"I grew up in New York."

"Bullshit," I told him. "You grew up in The lone star state until you were 14, that's plenty of time for you to love the simpler things in life. You should choose gravy and biscuits over lobster and some posh herb that I've never heard of, and Levis over ball busting Calvin Klein skinnys."

"I do choose Levis and I've got my cowboy boots if you can remember." He reminded me.

"When was the last time you wore them?" I clicked onto the website that showed up and typed in the information. There was silence for a few moments, making me look up from the laptop screen and saw Jasper looking down. "What?"

"I wore them last night... for Embry." He barely whispered out the last bit and I saw a light pink colour his cheeks. I laughed out loud.

"You kinky, kinky fucker! Were you the strong, silent stable boy who corrupted the Master of the houses' son?" I put on a southern accent, which I think was pretty good. Jasper kept silent. "Holy shit, am I right? Fuck Whitlock... Never knew you had it in you." I clicked confirm then turned off the laptop, getting out of my chair and patted Jasper's shoulder. "I'm proud of you. Everything's sorted: flights Sunday at seven in the morning at Sea Tac, business class for your majesty and all for $895 for the both of us. Happy?"

"Very, but did you have to get one so early in the mornin'?"

"Its cheaper." I grabbed my keys and opened the door. "I'm going to The Dive, wanna join me?"

"No," He shook his head. "Please don't get drunk or... other." I rolled my eyes.

"I know, I know. I promise not to do either. See ya." I shouted when the door slammed shut. I jogged to my car and quickly drove down the road. I drove around the back of the bar and parked up, sliding out of the car and walked through the front door.

"There's my favourite customer! How are you doing, love?" Fred's voice shouted at me from across the bar. I grinned and seated myself at the bar, my Corona already waiting for me.

"Same old, same old. A friend of mine is getting engaged though so I'll have to flight out there to congratulate them "

"That's great but whatever happened to calling them in congratulations?"

"We had this stupid agreement that whenever one of us is getting married the rest fly over or drive over or whatever and help them plan the thing."

"Were you drunk when you agreed? I've got to tell you, people don't follow through with drunken agreements. If they did, I'd be married for three years now." He chuckled.

"What?"

"My high school friend and I agreed, very drunkenly, that when we hit 25 and neither of us were in a relationship or married, we'd marry each other." He shook his head at himself. "That was a weird night."

"And when you both turned 25 what happened?" I peeled at the beer label and rolled it into a joint.

"We met up, we laughed at ourselves and then we... spent some time together."

"AKA you fucked her?" I grinned. He grinned back. "Well done." I drank half my beer.

"Glad I have your approval." He sighed. "Bloody customers. Why do they come to me?"

"Because this is your bar and you sell beer? Because you're the bartender?"

"Ugh, why do you have to be right?" He wandered to the end of the bar and paid attention to the other customers. I finished more of my beer and relaxed in my chair.

"Can you get me another one of these?" I shook my bottle. Fred nodded at me, looking worried and brought me another beer. "Thanks, Freddie." Four more beers later and I was ready to leave. "Okay, I'm going home, see you whenever, Freddie."

"Wait, wait a second Bella. Should you be driving? You've had a bit and a half." I snorted.

"I've driven home drunker than this and I'm still standing. See ya." I pushed the door opened and walked to my car. Once again I almost crashed into a tree when I parked in front of the house, I bet you it was the same squirrel, and stumbled through the door.

"Honey, I'm home." I shouted.

"My lord, how drunk are you?" Jasper jumped up off the couch.

"I'm not drunk. I drove here and didn't crash."

"You drove?! Are you insane? You could have been pulled over by cops."

"Yes I did, yes I am and nope, I didn't." I kissed his cheek. "I'm going to bed, wake me up when we have to leave for the airport." I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, taking out a bottle of Corona. "Night, homo."

At then end of the week, Jasper woke me up at four in the fucking morning because it takes three hours to get to the fucking airport then the airport telling you you should be there two hours earlier because... a stupid fucking reason. We picked up our tickets then went through those security questions before finally after way too fucking long, Jasper dragged me on the plane where I almost immediately fell back asleep when I sat in my chair. So much fun to go through all that crap with lack of sleep.

Something kept poking me in the ribs and I pushed whatever it was, only for it to start again a few seconds later. I cracked an eye open and glared at Jasper.

"What?" I growled. Jasper smiled at me, cheery as a fucking cartoon.

"We've landed, Miss happy. Want to wipe that look off your face and get off the plane?" How can he be so happy? I groaned.

"Fine." I unbuckled my belt and stood up, stretching my legs out and arched my back, hearing the crack and sighed in relief. "Come on homo, lets go see the blushing bride to be."

I've forgotten how busy New York is. Eight out of ten cars a taxi, side walks crowded as fuck with tourists, home-growns, or suits going to meetings or their mistress' houses. We took the subway to Hudson square and walked to Rose and Em's apartment, getting buzzed in and walked up the seven flights of stairs. Before I knocked on their door, I put Jasper in front of me as a shield since as soon as that door is open Rose is going to attack first in line. And also, if I'm first in line she might go through with her threat and try to kill me. She's been dreaming and planning her wedding since she was three, like every other girl, me being the obvious exception yet again.

Just as I said, when the door opened Rose jumped at Jasper and squeezed the life out of him with a hug. I patted her arm as I passed by and into the apartment. Em was sitting on the couch playing Call of duty: Black Ops. Hardcore or what?

"Hey Em, you dying?" I sat down next to him and grabbed his open beer. Not my brand but I make exceptions.

"If you must know, I'm killing them all." He sounded like a proud child. He paused his game and grinned at me.

"So... you're getting married. How long have you had to deal with that," I nodded my head in the direction where Rose and Jasper were pulled up at the dining table, wedding magazines covering half the surface.

"Since I popped the question."

"Poor bastard." I offered him his beer which he took gladly. "What's the date?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "That's all Rose's department. All I know is that I should wear my best suit and be there on time."

"That's all you need to know. If she asks for your opinion on something just say 'whatever you want, sweetheart'. That might save you a lot of trouble." I picked up his controller and resumed his game.

"I'll remember that." He watched me get killed in under thirty seconds. "Wow, you suck."

"I'm better at Grand theft auto and Prince of Persia, you know that." I restarted the game and died in two minutes. "Oh, fuck this game." I threw the controller in his lap and walked to the headquarters/dining table. "How's it going over here?"

"Bella, great you're here. What do you think, this centre piece or this one? Personally, I like the second one, it pops and goes with the wedding style, but then this one is more classical and elegant." I'm sure I looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"Uhh, well I think... you... the second..." I slowly walked backwards. I turned around and jumped over the couch. "What the fuck, it's barely been a day."

"I should've warned you. I haven't gone near that table since yesterday."

"Thanks for the heads up." I dead panned. I grabbed his beer. The front door opened and Peter sauntered into the room.

"Hello everybody, look who I found." Alice walked in with a tall, skinny strawberry blonde following. What the fuck?

"Hey, Pete." Jasper removed himself from the wedding mission and hugged Peter then Alice. "Whose this lovely lookin' lady?"

"This is Tanya, my girlfriend." Alice smiled, her eyes flickered around the room, surprise seeing me, then went back to Tanya.

Oh, for fucks sake.

**XxX**

**I think I'm gonna go out for a pint. You guys enjoy the rest of your night, or afternoon, depending where you live.**

**Review, and follow, and alert, and just send the love.**


	14. Chapter 14

**God, is it Sunday again? That pissed by, didn't it. Where are we... oh yes, Tanya's rocked up. Let the shit storm begin!**

**I thought I'd point out that I know my writing isn't the best. Grammar, punctuation and other being off, but I kinda like it like that. I mean, it's not so awful that you can't understand what the hell's going on, right? I think I like it cause the imperfections and flaws, many flaws, are like Bella's personality in writing form. Maybe I'm just making excuses.**

**Oh, and awfully self promoting of me but I've finished my other mini fic, Misery. So, if you want to read a proper, fully Betaed story that won't take all day to read, please have a look.**

**Anyway, on with the show!**

**XxX**

_What?_

"What?" Everyone looked at me. Shit, I said that out loud, didn't I? I cleared my throat and stood up, walking over to the door. "Hello, I'm Bella."

"привет, I am Tanya." Great, she's tall, she's hot and now she's Russian. Game over.

"Hey Alice, how are you?" Please talk to me.

"Hi, Rose. Ooh, is that a Vera Wang dress?" She walked to the dining table, not even glancing at me. Peter hissed.

"That's cold." I glared at him. He held his hands up. "I'm only stating a fact."

"I need a drink." I walked into their small kitchen and reach in the back of the fridge where I knew they kept a bottle of vodka, and also took out a carton of grape juice then opened a cupboard and grabbed their salt shaker. I grabbed a shot glass from the glass rack and filled half of it with the vodka and the other with the grape juice then shook some salt in the glass. I threw the shot back and hissed as I felt the burn in the back of my throat. I quickly made another one and sat down next to Em.

"Are you okay?" Em paused his game and looked at me, worried. I waved my hand dismissively and threw back my other shot.

"I'm fine. Thought I could use a drink."

"The average person lies four times a day," He said randomly. Okay... "And the most common is saying I'm fine or I'm okay."

"Em please, don't you start. I've had Jasper on my ass for three months, one more person jumps on his band wagon and I'll jump out the closest window."

"We all want you to be happy." I dropped the shot glass on the coffee table and stood up.

"That's great. I'm going out to the hallway and have a quick smoke." I grasped my pack inside my jacket's pocket and walked out the door, without looking near the dining table and shut the door closely behind me. I sat on the top step and lit up one of my last cigarettes. The apartment door opened and I expected Jasper to walk out and verbally bitch slap me. Instead _Tanya_ closed the door and smiled at me like we were best friends for years.

"May I have a cigarette?" I nodded curtly and threw her my last cigarette and my lighter.. "спасибо." She sat down next to me and handed back my lighter. "I should give up but it is hard." She smiled at me. We're obviously girlfriends now in her mind and have to share every secret and detail of our lives.

"Yea smoking, it's... it's a tough one." I inhaled as far as I could go and a quarter of my cigarette disappeared.

"How do you know Alice?" She asked innocently. I stared at her, shocked. What?

"She hasn't told you about me? Nothing?"

"No, she not mention you." Just punch me already, it'd be less fucking painful.

"Okay... Well, I've been one of her closest friends for the past five years and have helped her through most of her break ups." And gave her the best sex of her life, but then you hit the scene, I added silently.

"You very close?" I looked at her, confused. "To Alice." She added.

"I used to be, but we drifted apart lately." Because I was being the second biggest dick in the world only just being beaten by Ashton Kutcher. I stubbed out my cigarette, putting it back in the packet and stood up. "Enjoy your cigarette." I walked back into the apartment

"Where did you creep off to?" Rose asked, just looking up long enough to notice me entering before she went back to her wedding magazine.

"Outside to smoke, where I properly met Tanya. She's a barrel of fun. You picked well, Alice." I sat in between Peter and Em on the couch and grabbed his almost empty beer bottle.

"Are you okay?" Peter looked at me, sympathetic. I rolled my eyes. Yay, pity party for me!

"Can people stop asking me that? I'm fine, why wouldn't I be? I'm happy, la la la la la, see?" I drank the last of the bottle and wedged it between Em's thighs. "Anyone want anything?" They both shook their heads and turned back to their game. I opened the fridge and grabbed one of Em's Coors and twisted off the cap, immediately drinking down half of it.

"Bella are you-"

"Yes Jasper, I am fine. I'd like it if no one asked me that anymore today, okay?" I finished my beer and dropped it in the trash next to me. "I'm going for another smoke." I pulled my pack out of my pocket and saw it was empty. "Fuck." I threw it in the trash. "I'm going out to get another pack." I walked out the apartment without another word and walked through the throng of people to the closest liquor store. I paid for my cigarettes and walked back to the apartment. I sat on my now empty step and opened the pack, lighting a cigarette and sighed out a puff of smoke.

"I thought you stopped." I looked up and Alice was leaned on the door. I shrugged and looked back at the ground.

"Habits die hard." I inhaled then blew the smoke out my nose. "Do you still hate me?" I was quite afraid of the answer. It seemed like forever before she answered but when I glanced at my watch it was barely a minute.

"A part of me does, yes," I winced. "But the bigger, non bitch part, has forgiven you. You were right, we weren't together like that and I had no reason to be jealous or react like I did."

"No, no," I leapt up from the step and walked over to her. "No, you had every right to act the way you did, we had an agreement, I should've told you right off the bat." She cringed as smoke hit her face. I dropped the cigarette and crushed it under my shoe. "Sorry. I went behind your back, even if we weren't in a relationship, I should've told you. I'm sorry." I stepped back and leaned against the rail opposite her. "Tanya... she seems like a great girl." I'm pretty sure she could tell I was lying through my teeth. "How long have you been together?"

"Around two weeks, maybe three." I nodded and toed the ground.

"So, how much did you have to pay for Miss Russia?" You fucking moron! What the hell is wrong with me? I wanted to take the words back as soon as they left.

"I can't believe you, Bella! I should have known you'd make a comment but no, I had to be naïve and think you'd be mature about this and not be a dick." She threw her hands in the air in frustration.

"What do you expect? You call it a 'relationship' when all it is, is a rebound."

"No, my rebound was with Lacey two months ago!" She shouted at me. I'm sure everyone in the apartment could hear through the door.

"Lacey? Lacey Richards? You hate that bitch, you said you'd happily rip off her eyelashes if she gave you the chance." Jealously was running through my body, throwing a bitch fit like a three year old.

"We sorted out our differences."

"Obviously." I sneered.

"Don't you use that tone with me. I have every right to do the things I've done. You've done much worse." She point out. "Speaking of which, how is _Leah_? Still having fun, or have you tossed her aside?"

"We're fine, great friends." I lied. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of her being right about me.

"Hmm, great." She turned around and opened the door. "Have fun with her."

"Have fun with little Miss Russia, helping her with her green card." I smirked.

Alice glared at me. "You're such a bitch, Bella, I don't know what's happened to you." She slammed the door shut behind her. I groaned and banged my head against the wall. You just couldn't keep your mouth shut could you?

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jasper suddenly appeared next to me causing me to jump out of my skin. "We could hear you in the apartment." See, I was right.

"Is anyone else going to visit me in the hall?"

"You've spent more time out here than you have in the apartment."

"Can you blame me?" I took out another cigarette and lit it. If I smoke anymore, people will think a new pope has been elected. "With the happy fucking couple meters away from me?" My grip on my lighter increased.

"You haven't looked in their direction at all while you were in there, how could you tell what they were doin'?"

"I just... I just could, okay? It's... infuriating," I sat back down on my step. "Knowing I've most likely missed my chance, and I've been given quite a few chances with her."

"Are you acceptin' your feelin's for Alice?" Jasper sat next to me. I chuckled and blew out smoke.

"I'm not saying I've fallen ass over tit for her, but... I don't know, maybe I'm just wanting what I don't have."

"Do you think you're idealizin' her?"

"No, I see her flaws, she doesn't have a lot but she has them. I love her, not in love, but I definitely love her."

"That's some way of showin' it." He hit my shoulder.

"Ow!" I rubbed the sore spot.

"Don't ow, you deserve it. You called her girlfriend a whore."

"I did no such thing!"

"You intended it."

"Oh come on! She's not even a girlfriend, she's a green card." I said loudly.

"Keep your voice down." Jasper hissed. "Do not let your petty jealously ruin Alice's relationship."

"It is not a rela-" Jasper gave me a look. I sighed. "Whatever makes her happy."

"It's nice that you're actin' more like an adult. Hopefully you'll be partial to the truth one day."

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." I took another inhale before letting the cigarette burn itself out.

He smiled. "Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead."

"Deceiving others. That is what the world calls romance."

"Hatred is blind, as well as love."

"The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it... I can resist anything but temptation." I sighed and rolled the remaining cigarette between my thumb and index.

"Do you really think it is weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible temptations which it requires strength, strength and courage to yield to."

I snorted. "When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers." I didn't know how to respond to that and I didn't want to be the first to fuck up a quote.

"Men always want to be a woman's first love – women like to be a man's last romance."

"The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray."

"I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everythin'." Jasper told me, giving me a glance.

"Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes." I'm just listing off quotes I can remember now.

"A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies." I saw him frown. "No. Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both." He amended.

"One's past is what one is. It is the only way by which people should be judged."

"There are only two tragedies in life; one is not gettin' what one wants, and the other is gettin' it."

"The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself." I pointed out.

"Here's mine: Never play with the feelin's of others because you may win the game but the risk is that you will surely lose the person for a life time." Jasper squeezed my knee. I nodded and I stubbed my cigarette, which was pretty much the filter, on the step below me and stood up.

"Her happiness is all I care about."

He stood up and hugged me. "I'm proud of you. I never knew you knew so many Oscar Wilde quotes." I rolled my eyes. "Look at it this way; it can't get worse than it already is." I chuckled.

"If it's me, it always can. I bet you if I stepped on a leprechaun I'd break my ankle." He laughed and opened the apartment door. I proved Jasper right when I looked in the kitchen and saw Alice and Tanya making out, looking like they were about to fuck right there and then. "Told you." I sat down next to Rose and flipped through a magazine.

"How are you, Bella?" Rose stopped her intense scanning of her hundreds of magazines.

"I am fine." I stared blankly at an advert for _Lancôme's_ new perfume. "Perfectly fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yup, sure, hundred percent." I closed the magazine and leaned back in my chair. This fucking sucks, to put it lightly. I looked out the window and noticed it was getting dark. "I think I'm going to Antarctica. I've missed that place. See ya." I got up and walked out of the apartment. As I walked down to the bar I listened to the sounds of New York and I have to say I've missed it. Police sirens, car horns and someone shouting, 'Move asshole!'. Okay maybe not. I saw the black door with Antarctica mounted above it and smiled.

A Red Hot Chilli Pepper song was playing on the Juke box when I stepped through. It was pretty slow for a Friday night from what I could remember. I walked up to the bar and sat on 'my' stool and ordered a Corona.

"Bella?" I looked up when I heard my name. Charlotte, one of my oldest friends and the person who did my tattoos, was standing in front of me.

"Holy shit Char!" I grinned.

"Oh my god, it is you!" She ran around the bar and hugged me tightly. "You look... like hell, what's happened?" She took a step back and scrutinized me closely.

"Wow, thanks. I don't see you for four years and you tell me I look like shit." I faked offence.

"I didn't use the word shit, I used the word hell, there is a difference." She corrected me. I rolled my eyes.

"Forgive my carelessness over your choice of words, I promise not to be so foolish next time." She pushed me and I chuckled. "So, how was Texas?" Char got accepted into the university of Houston four years ago.

"It was amazing! At first the heat was murderous but when you grow accustom to that, it is lovely." She gushed. She continued on about the campus and the classes, all the friends she made and a few boyfriends she had.

"No one's caught the lady's eye permanently then?" I smirked.

"Not in Texas." A light pink coloured her cheeks. I raised my eyebrows, waiting for her to continue. "I met him the first day I came back here. He is so handsome in a rugged outdoors way. His name's Peter and he has the most amazing blue eyes I've ever seen." Char's face took on a dreamy look as her eyes glazed over. Peter? You can't be serious...

"Char," She wasn't paying attention to me. "Charlotte," I clapped my hands in front of her face. She blinked and glared. "Don't glare, you weren't paying attention. His name's Peter?" She nodded. "Is he 6'1 maybe 6'2, light blonde, quite bulky but not in a scary weightlifter way and got Wolverine sideburns?"

"Yes, how do you... Oh god, please don't tell me you've slept with him." She begged me. I snorted.

"God no... well sort of, a bit, I mean it was a one time thing and it didn't even last two weeks."

"Oh my god, are you kidding me? Have you slept with everyone in New York?"

"No, but it seems like I'm trying to." I sighed. It really did seem like it.

"It's nice to see even after all this time you're the same as ever." She patted my arm. "So where have you been hiding this lovely specimen of a man from me?"

"I don't know how you haven't met him before. He's Jasper's brother and has been my mate for years-"

"Wait, wait one minute," She interrupted me. "Jasper has a brother? When did this happen?"

"Sorry, have we met? Bella Swan, aged 21, 5'7, lived in New York for over six years until I moved to Washington. Best friend Jasper, who has a _brother._"

"You introduce yourself like that everytime?"

"Har har har, very witty Char." I slumped in my stool and rested my elbow on the bar. "Now that I think about it, it's not surprising that you haven't met Peter between you being in Houston and him being shipped to Afghanistan."

"He's a solider?" She sounded and looked thrilled by the idea. "That's so... so..." She trailed off, looking glazed over again.

"Tell me when you've finished fantasising." I grabbed a discarded newspaper – yes I do read them, I know shocking – and waited for Charlotte to come out of her stupor.

"Enough about my love life, how is yours?" I heaved a sigh and dropped my newspaper, slumping further in my chair. "That bad?"

"I've got a question and you have to be completely hundred percent honest with me." She nodded looking a little concerned. "Did you ever see me and Alice as more than friends? Like with the way we acted around each other?"

"I know Alice loves you." She stopped short and grimaced. "Whoops. Did I let the cat out of the bag?"

"How the fuck did you find out?"

"It was the night before I left for Huston. Remember when you couldn't stop laughing at your feet?" I shook my head. That whole night was blurry to blank. "What about when you finished all your smokes so you tore a piece of paper and used grass and made a makeshift cigarette?"

"No."

"It was between those two when Alice told me."

"What the fuck? Was I the last person to know?"

"Yes. Even Toby knew before you." She chuckled.

"Fuck. Why didn't anyone tell me? There were enough of you bastards."

"I can't speak for everyone, but I didn't tell you because Alice asked me not to."

I sighed. "Fucking brilliant."

"How did you find out?"

"It's a long story." I warned her, meaning I didn't want to tell her.

"I can wait." I sighed and told her everything from the Leah thing to the Russian whore comment. You can't keep secrets from her for long. After I finished I looked at her expectantly. She grabbed my ear and pulled me down to face level. "What is the matter with you? You have broken that poor girl's heart and have kicked it for good measure when you slept with Leah, Heidi and god knows how many others."

"Please let go of my ear please. I'll do whatever you want if you let go of my ear." I begged, trying to pull away. She twisted it tighter. "Ow! Fucking ow, I'll fix it, I'll fix it! I'll cut out my kidney and put it in a Tiffany box for her. Please let me go." She released her Hulk grip on my ear and crossed her arms over her chest.

"How are you going to fix it?"

"I don't know." I rubbed my ear. "Its too late anyway, she's got _Tanya._" Char's hand reached for my ear again. "Stay the hell away from me, she devil." I flinched back.

"If you do something utterly romantic and show her you _do_ have feelings for her, then she might possibly leave Tanya and start a relationship with you."

"I'm not romantic, you know that. What can I do? Chop off my ear?"

"No," She sighed. "No chopping of body parts. Do something that's... you." She said finally.

"That's it? That's all you're giving me, be myself? Being myself is how I got in this problem to begin with. If I follow that I'll probably end up drunk on her doorstep slurring it all out." I told the truth.

"That's not... Well, that is very you. You could tell all without the alcohol."

"But then it wouldn't be me." I smirked. She slapped my shoulder.

"Don't be a smartass. Think. Something that would mean greatly to Alice, something that would show without a doubt that you are finished screwing her about." I leaned back in my stool and stared at the ceiling. Something that would show her I'm finished screwing her around...

"Christmas is coming up... We shared an English class." I commented.

"Walk me through your line of thought," She twiddled her hands.

"We met in English and got to know each other when we were paired up for an assignment; Lolita."

"It's a nice idea but no. I'm sorry, but a book isn't going to work."

"What about a first edition kind of thing? I don't know what else to get her. I left the presents I bought her ages ago up in Washington." I ran my hand through my hair.

"Lolita... Maybe she will like it. If she remembers the first assignment you two shared maybe she'll find it sweet, even romantic." Char stopped and passed a cocktail jug to the other barmaid behind her. "Do you want me to help you search the bookstores?"

I nodded as I took a drink. "Yes, please. Are you free tomorrow?" Char nodded and went back to work.

I slowly finished my beer and when I was planning on leaving the bar was packed. "Char, I'll see you soon. Call me whenever." I kissed her cheek and left her to her busy night. I was roughly three blocks away from the apartment when I felt someone close behind me.

"Hey girlie. What ye doin' out 'ere all on yer lonesome?" The guy stepped up next to me and gripped my upper arm. I turned around, ripping my arm out of his hand and took a step back.

"I am not getting fucking murdered on my first night back." I spat him. He smiled at me and took a step forward, making me step back into an alley. Oh fuck no.

"Na, na girlie, ye got me wrong. I'm not a murderer." He stepped towards me again, making me press against one of the alley walls. No, no, fucking no, not this. "I'm goin' ta mug ye." He grinned bigger and pulled out a knife. Actually knife was too big a word for it. It was more like Action man's butter knife.

"With that?" I laughed. He was bigger than me and had a 'weapon' but I was faster and could probably out run him. "That's nothing, that's a toothpick." Now is not the time to piss off a guy with a knife, my mind's reasonable side advised me. Guy's face darkened and he charged at me slicing the blade across my cheekbone. I guess I wasn't faster than him. I cried out and cupped my bleeding cheek. "You bastard." I hissed.

"Ye ain't in any position ta call names, girlie." Without thinking my hand snapped forward and punched him in the stomach. He doubled over, dropping the knife and groaning. I made a run for it but didn't even make it to the mouth of the alley before I was grabbed by the ankle and yanked to the floor. The air rushed out of my lungs, making me unable to scream for help. He turned me over and grinned down at me. "That was a wrong move, girlie." He clasped his hands around my throat, his body weight stopping me from trying to escape. My vision started flickering as my hands scratched and dug into his hands. Close to passing out, I felt his hands leave my throat and I gulped huge mouthfuls of beautiful air. I blinked my eyes clear and saw him still grinning at me before he punched me once and heard something crack. My ears rang and my vision flickered once again before I jumped into unconscious.

Ah fuck.

**XxX**

**This might sound fucked up but I really liked how this chapter ended. Anyone gonna agree with me?**

**Kick a review over when you're finished.**


	15. Chapter 15

**I'm still staring at that brick wall of a writers' block. I think I've only written one paragraph since the last time I bitched.**

**Everyone whose read the original will know what happens next, so that 'cliffhanger' didn't work out that well.**

**Someone pointed out that Bella was called Hanna. The reason behind that is that I'm writing another thing and I mixed up the names... When I'm drunk, I don't make a single mistake but when I'm sober, I fuck up someone's name. Thanks Radcliffe for pointing it out.**

**XxX**

_Beep... Beep... Beep..._

My eyes flickered open and glanced around the room. Too white walls, fluorescent lights and a crappy plastic chair in the corner of the room. I've either got the crappiest room in heaven or I've got a standard hell room. I opened my mouth but instead of asking what the fuck was going on, I groaned loudly. Someone gasped next to me.

I turned my head, cringing at the movement and saw Alice sitting in one of those cheap plastic chairs, eyes rimmed red. "You're awake."

"What," I groaned, which hurt more, and rubbed my throat, wincing.

"Don't try to speak, your throat is still tender."

"Notepad." Understanding, Alice grabbed a notepad and pen from the bedside table and gave them to me. I quickly wrote down my question and showed it to her. "You don't remember?" I shook my head. "You were mugged. Someone found you in an alleyway, unconscious and brought you to the hospital." I pointed to my throat. "That... _bastard_ strangled you; it's badly bruised. The doctor said there was no lasting damage and should be back to normal at the earliest, two weeks " She stood up from the chair and sat down on the edge of my bed. Her hand touched my cheek and I flinched back, inhaling sharply. "I'm sorry." She quickly pulled back her hand. I shook my head and smiled reassuringly which was kind of cancelled out when I winced from the cut.

I wrote down how she found out. "Jasper got a call from the hospital saying you've been checked in; he's apparently your emergency contact." '_I wanted someone who wouldn't gain anything from my demise.'_ Alice laughed. "Those must be strong painkillers they have you on." I smiled, trying to ignore the pain in my cheek and throat.

"Jasper?" I croaked.

"He's getting food in the cafeteria." She didn't seem to notice she was tracing the lines of my tattoo.

"You should eat."

"I couldn't." Her tracing stopped then her thumb started rubbing my wrist.

"Why you here?" Her rubbing stopped.

"I hear you're in the hospital and you expect me to not come?"

"You hate me. Thought you'd be happy to see me in a hospital bed; saves you the job of doing it." I chuckled. I cringed at the pain.

"I told you not to speak. I don't want the doctor telling me off for making you talk." She ran her fingertips along my throat in the lightest of touches and I wanted to purr.

"My throat hurts, I'm not mute. I don't need the notepad." I protested weakly.

"Bella." Her stroking stopped and I almost whimpered at the loss... or maybe that's from the all over pain.

"I'll tell him I'm talking by my own will." I sighed and tilted my head back, just like a fucking cat, when she started her stroking. See what she does to me? I was starting to feel floaty and quite happy, what were they pumping me full of? Alice stopped her stroking again and leaned forward to reach the glass of water by my head. The neckline of her shirt fell open a bit and as a natural reaction, my eyes fell down. Her bra wasn't the first thing I noticed, purple, it was the missing necklace.

I sighed. "I'm sorry about what I said about your girlfriend. I shouldn't of let my petty jealousy control me." I blinked heavily, taking the glass from her hand and taking a sip.

"Jealously?" Her fingers resumed their tracing of my tattoo, then going up to the crease in my arm. Tattoo... crease... tattoo... crease.

"About you being with-" I was cut off by a nurse coming into my room. Yay, I got the black sassy nurse. Every hospital has one, I think they have to have at least one on the pay roll or they get shut down for being racist.

"How you doing suga? I'm just gonna give ya something for the pain, alright suga?" I nodded like I was already doped up and watched as she injected something into my IV. "This'll get you all nice and to sleep. I'll come see how you doing later, suga." Then sassy nurse left.

"Imma real sorry 'bout Tanya." My speak slightly slurred – wow that worked fast – I closed my eyes as the drugs reached my system. "I wanna be with you like Tanya." I barely heard her sharp inhale before the drugs pulled me to sleep.

...

_Beep... Beep... Beep..._

"Is she waking up?" I cracked an eye open and saw Em's face inches from mine. I jumped back.

"Fuck Em! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" To back up my question, the heart monitor sped up. I took a few deep breaths, as best I could, then slapped Em. "Dick."

He grinned at me. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"By scaring the fucking shit out of me?" I looked around the room and saw Em, Rose, and Jasper but didn't see Alice. "Is Alice here?"

"She's in the cafeteria, at last." Jasper sat next to me and rested his hand on my leg. "Are you okay?"

"Yea, whatever they've got me on is fucking marvellous. We should get some for home."

"I'll call Mexico today and see what I can do." The doctor came in and took my chart off the end of my bed.

"How are you feeling today?" He smiled down at me and I knew he was thinking about harvesting my organs.

"As good as I can be when I've had my throat almost popped like a balloon."

"Her humour isn't broken, that's a good sign right?" I rolled my eyes and lightly slapped Em's arm.

The doctor chuckled. "Yes, it's a good sign." He lifted a piece of paper from the chart and did that hum doctor's do when you don't know if it's good or not. "Everything seems to be working correctly, I see no reason for you to stay any longer."

"Good. Uhh... Doc, did anything... _else_, happen?" I really hoped I didn't have to elaborate.

"No, no, no!" He assured me hastily. "Fortunately, a boy found you before your attacker could do anything else, he ran. I believe the boy's name was Toby."

"Toby? Huh, well that is good. What about this?" I gestured to my cheek.

"Only three stitches, they're not very deep and should be little next to no scarring. The stitches will dissolve in around a week."

"This is turning out to be a good day." I sat up and threw off the paper thin covers. "I need to get my clothes and get this thing off me." Jasper passed me a bag with a fresh set of clothes and had to be thankful he didn't grab the very few dresses that I owned. "Thanks homo." I walked into the tiny ass bathroom adjoined to my room and quickly got dressed. "Okay, let's go."

"You need to sign a few things before you leave, and here's a prescription for ibuprofen, take one every eight hours." I raised my eyebrows in surprise. He expects someone with a fucked throat to swallow? Doc tore a piece of paper from a notepad and handed it to me. I nodded and slipped it in my pocket. We walked out the room and to the nurses' station.

"Sign here and here." The very pretty nurse slid over the forums. She kind of reminded me of the blonde doctor in Scrubs... Elliot was it? I quickly signed them and passed them back to her.

"Thanks... Karen, hope you have a nice day." I started to turn around but backtracked and leaned on the counter. "Hey, why don't we have a coffee after your-" Jasper grabbed my ear and pulled me away from the station and the pretty nurse. "Ow, ow fuck, let go of my ear." I pinched his arm and he pulled his arm away. "What the fuck, Jasper?"

"Why were you flirting with that nurse?" He demanded.

"I wasn't. I was just asking her to some coffee, or trying to at least."

"That's worst! How could you after what you said to Alice?"

"Said what to Alice?" I thought back but couldn't remember saying anything to Alice, hell I couldn't even remember if she was in my room.

"You don't remember? Oh, you've got to be kidding me." He stopped me by the doors of the cafeteria.

"What's happening? We've obviously missed a lot." Rose and Em stood next to us, joining in their favourite past time of ripping me a new one, and completely our little circle.

"You know what Bella said to Alice when she woke up?" They nodded.

"Wait, can someone tell _me_ what I said?"

"I swear you do these things to irritate me beyond possibility." Jasper sighed. "Remember when you woke up the first time here?" I shook my head. "Remember when you told Alice you wanted to be her girlfriend instead of Tanya?"

"No, no, wait one fucking second, I said what? There's not a chance in hippie hell I'd ever say that out loud."

"You did, she told me."

"Fuck, does she tell you everything?" I groaned.

"Yes."

"Great, now you know how far my dickness really goes."

"Oh sweetie," He touched my cheek. "I knew years ago."

"Marvellous," I ran my fingers through my hair. "Okay, let's get some food, I'm fucking starving." I pushed the door open and grabbed the only thing I could drink/eat; a bottle of... some fruity good for you crap. Isn't it depressing when a bottle of smoothie looks happier than you? I paid for it then sat in one of the crappy plastic chairs that seem to be sponsoring the fucking hospital.

"Oh thank god, you're up." Alice appeared out of thin air and sat opposite me. "How are you feeling?"

I shrugged. "I'm fine, the doctor gave me something for the pain. I'll be back to normal in no time." I smiled slightly, wincing when the pain in the cheek started up. Shit, guess my pills are wearing off.

"Glad to hear it." A sort of awkward silence came about. I suddenly wasn't hungry and pushed my unopened bottle away from me.

"Here, I heard you haven't eaten anything. Its got fruit in it. That classes it as a food right?." She smiled at me and twisted off the cap. Jasper, Rose and Em joined us.

"Bella, you should be eating." Jasper chastised me. I rolled my eyes and played with my thumb ring,

"I'm not hungry anymore and even if I was, I can't eat anything." I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes. "How many times have I been in a hospital?" Everyone around the table thought.

"You broke your hand when you punched a tree." Jasper started. Fun story; I was arguing with an old classmate – Lacey mother fucking Richards, actually – and went to punch her but she ducked out of the way and I ended up hitting the tree instead. "The cracked ribs you got in a fight." Jasper continued. I can't really remember how I did that but I'm sure I was drunk.

"The dislocated arm you got in another fight." Rose added. Kind of the same situation as the ribs.

"Broken nose in a fight, you were in a lot of fights around that time."

"Guess I needed to get my anger out." That and the amount of drinking and other I was doing around that time really got my anger levels going.

"That's putting it lightly. It was like you were the Hulk or Sean Penn." Em snickered through a mouth full of food.

"Honey," Rose closed Em's mouth. "Don't speak while eating." Em stuck out his tongue, food still on it. Lovely.

"Very witty, Em. Can we go now?" I sighed and slumped forward.

"Okay, let's get Miss happy her drugs." Jasper stood up. I rolled my eyes.

"Yup, Miss happy, that's me." I picked up my prescription, trying to subtly look for Karen but was pulled away by Jasper, once again, and walked – pulled – out the hospital. Charlotte was sitting on the steps of Rose and Em's apartment when we came around the corner. "Char? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Bella, oh thank god!" She jumped up from the steps and cracked a few of my ribs with her hug.

"I'm guessing you heard?" I wheezed. I felt her nod. "You going to let me go?" She shook her head. "Okay. How did you hear?"

"Toby." Toby was her half brother and the other owner to the tattoo shop. Keep it all in the family, you know?

"Oh yea, he found me." I was quickly running out of air with her crazy strong grip. Why is it that the little petite women are always freakishly strong? "Shit, can someone get her off me? I'm losing air." Em pried her off me.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up; I had to open the parlour."

"It's okay. I think that's the strongest reaction I've ever seen about me being in the hospital."

"Excuse me?" Jasper asked, offended. I rolled my eyes.

"Don't start. I don't know how you reacted in any of my 'accidents' right after you found out because I was either loopy as fuck on drugs or alcohol, or I was unconscious. Don't blame me for that." I raised my hands in surrender. "Char, can you help me Christmas shop today, if not tomorrow?" I asked.

"Of course, but is it a good idea to be walking around after all this?" She waved her hand up and down me.

"It'll be fine, it's just a sore throat."

"Okay, if you insist. I can help you but my shift at the bar starts at half seven."

"That'll be more than enough time. Why don't we do it now? You're obviously not at either work."

"Lead the way."

"Wait one second. What's this about Christmas shopping? You were attacked yesterday, you need to rest." Alice stepped in front of us.

"I'm fine, it's only a sore throat and a little light in the cash department."

"A sore throat? You have bruises on your neck, you have a cut on your cheek that could've been far worse than three stitches."

"I'm fine," I stretched out. "I'll see you guys soon." I pushed Charlotte passed me and followed her. "Can we go to the parlour and see Toby? I wanna thank him."

"Sure. It's sweet that Alice still worries about you after all the crap you've put her through." Char commented as we headed North.

"Yes, how droll."

"I would label it loyal more than droll."

"Yea, yea, yea. She's awesome and I'm a douchebag. She visits me in hospital while if it was the other way around, I'd be in a bar somewhere." We argued the whole way to a coffee shop then walked into The Shop. Good name right?

"Bella, you're okay." Toby jumped over the counter and crushed me in a hug. Fuck, I think the whole family has super strength.

"Hey Toby." How to describe Toby physically... he kinda looks like an older version of Tom Felton but taller and less pale. "Thanks to you I'm not dead in the alley."

"Don't speak like that." He kissed my forehead and leaned against the counter. "Are you okay? I'm sorry I wasn't there to see you wake up."

"It's okay. So, when you walked passed he wasn't groping me or anything?"

"Of course not. I would've killed him myself if he was. He was stealing your wallet and taking off your shoes when I chased him off."

"He took my shoes?!" I looked down at my feet and saw black shoes instead of green. "That fucking bastard, those were my favourite Converses."

"You don't react when you find yourself in a hospital, you don't react when you find out you were almost choked to death, but you react when you notice the mugger, who could have easily killed and or raped you, had taken your shoes?" Char shook her head. "You're a weird little person."

"Not little but definitely weird. I came here to say thanks and to give you this coffee to back it up." I left the Oh, and sorry I didn't tell you I was moving." I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Come on, Char, you're my bitch for the day."

"It'll be a nice change in our relationship." Char punched Toby in the shoulder as a goodbye and followed me out of the building.

"What are you talking about? I'm not your bitch." Char laughed. "Oh, screw you. You take the West side while I take the East, the cut off point will be Chelsea. I'm look for a first edition in as good a condition as you can find. When you come across one, call me, tell me where the fuck you are and I'll come, and vice versa. If we don't find anything we'll meet up in Tribeca, maybe in that tavern next to the deli."

"I've never heard you so organized. I'll look here, go to Chelsea and then search downwind."

I nodded and headed to the Flatiron district. I went to every independent, hole in the wall book store I could find and came up with nothing. I was in the East Village when I came across a shop that looked promising. Easily over 1000 books on two levels and not even a normal copy of this fucking book. I sighed and went back downstairs, finding the front desk. The grey haired guy who, I'm guessing, owned the place was leaning back in his chair and reading a J. Edgar Hoover biography.

"Hey, are you getting any Lolita's by Vladimir Nabokov in, in the next week?"

He glanced up, folded a corner of the page he was on, and sat up. "No, sorry, but I might know a shop that has it in stock." He grabbed the phone by the till and dialled. I picked up the top book from the stack that still needed to be stocked and flicked through it as I waited. "Right," He hung up and sat back down. "Go to Strand book store on Broadway, they told me they have Lolita in stock."

"I just came from there. They didn't have anything in stock." I ran my hand through my hair. "Thanks anyway." I left the book on the pile and walked out. I headed for a café down the street and ordered a coffee while calling my bank to cancel my card, the DMV to order a new drivers license, and decided to head to a police station and file a report, mostly cause if I have that form I'll get the new license free of charge instead of paying $20. I finished writing everything I had to when Char called.

"Bella, I've found one that you'll like very much."

"Thank fuck, this whole East side is fucking useless. Tell me where you are and I'll get there as soon as."

It was a hole in the wall shop, tucked in a corner of Soho. Low ceiling, bookshelf after bookshelves stuffed full of books, and a couple of frayed chairs in the back, Char sitting in one of them. "Hey," I sat in the other one and took the book she held. It was hardback, in good condition with only one corner of the spine slightly torn. The cover had Lolita's head slightly turned with her eyes just peaking over the heart shaped glasses while she sucked on a lollipop. "Nice."

"That's not the best part. It's signed by the man himself."

"We have a winner. Look, I've got to go to the DMV and get a new license. Still want to go to that tavern?"

"I'd love to, but I should help Toby at the parlour." She uncrossed her legs, gave me a kiss and left me alone with my thoughts. Never a good thing. I spent the next ten minutes sitting in the back thinking before realizing I've been sitting on my own for ten minutes. I shook my head and stood to pay.

"And the total is $1000." I'm pretty sure my heart just stopped.

"Okay... Excuse me," I pulled out my phone and called Char. "Char, how far away are you from the book shop?"

"I'm on Grand. What's wrong?"

"Can you come back? I'm a bit short on cash to pay."

"I saw you take out of the ATM over $100, how much could that book cost?"

"$1000."

"Holy hell. You must really love Alice. I'll be back " She hung up before I could reply. Char came back looking slightly winded. "I had to run from a dog for three blocks." She leaned against the counter and blew out a breath. "Right. How much do I chip in?"

"$700?" I smiled uneasily. "I promise I'll pay you back."

"I expect it, or I'll bring the boys around." She gave her credit card to the guy behind the counter. I thought about getting a credit card but then I thought otherwise. I'm pretty sure I'd buy loads of shit in months, become in debt and have people on my doorstep ready to break my thumbs.

"Who? Toby? I'm sorry but not very threatening." I took out all my money, $300, from my back pocket and put it on the counter.

"You carry $300 in your wallet?"

"Back pocket, and only this once. I thought three hundred would be plenty to buy a fucking book." We left the shop and went our separate ways, Char taking the subway to her parlour in Greenwich while I went to the DMV in the financial district. I lost half my life waiting in lines before getting my new license.

I took the subway back to Rose's apartment and knocked on the door. Rose let me in, even though I'm sure she wanted me out, and eyed the brown paper bag in my hand.

"You said you were Christmas shopping with Charlotte but you've bought one thing?"

"Hey, this cost a fucking fortune. I actually won't be able to buy anyone else presents for a couple weeks." I sat on the couch, zipped open my suitcase and put the book at the very bottom. "Anyone go through this and I'll beat you to unconsciousness with the thing." I zipped back up and went into the kitchen to take my pills.

Alice and Tanya came in through the double doors, talking quietly to one another. "Aww, look how cosy." I couldn't completely hold the bitter edge in my voice. Alice noticed – of course she did, she notices everything about me – and glared at me.

"We're going, bye guys." Alice said loudly, grabbing Tanya's hand and pulling her to the door.

"Wait, wait, wait. Can I talk to you for a quick second, Alice? In private." I added when I glanced at Tanya. She opened her mouth, to tell me to go fuck myself I'm guessing, but quickly closed her mouth. She nodded jerkily and went into Rose and Em's bedroom, me following behind her.

**XxX**

**60 reviews down, 100 to go. Keep it up people!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Wow, early update. Don't ask me why but I like to update the first of the month.**

**This chapter is thin, very thin cause I had to take a chunk out of it to make sense of the previous chapters, taking out the tattoo references mostly. I actually forgot about this chapter and what happened in it, so when I read through it I was like 'holy shit, I did that?' It's gonna get worse before it gets better, but I promise all my lovely readers this will have a happy ending... I'll try and give this a happy ending.**

**Hopefully I haven't fucked up anyone's name but knowing me, I have.**

**I just suddenly remembered an old review. Who was the brilliant little bugger that reviewed the chapter where Bella got the shit beaten outta her by the mugger, and said something along the lines of 'she must've curb stomped that leprechaun' Who are you? I can't remember your name but I do remember laughing for at least 5 minutes.**

**XxX**

"What do you want, Bella? You've got a minute." Alice stood in front of the bed, her back straight and her arms folded over her chest.

"I want to talk to you, about us." I leaned against the door.

"What us? There is no _us_." She spat out harshly.

"But... that's what you wanted, right? An us? I thought you'd be happy that I'm finally having this conversation with you, which I'm pretty sure has been waiting for awhile now. Can't we have a... I don't know, a relationship trial thing? If it doesn't work out, we'll forget about it." Last part was a lie but she doesn't need to know that.

"If it doesn't work, we'll forget about it?" She said slowly, incredulously. "Bella, this is a relationship, not a subscription to Vanity Fair."

"Okay, those weren't the best words. Just... ugh!" I moved and sat down heavily on their bed, silently hoping they've washed the sheets recently. "I'm not good at this talking bullshit. Why can't we have a go? I thought this would, I don't know, prove myself." I waved my hands around the room, not really sure what I'm using as the example.

"What has proven yourself? That you haven't slept with anyone in three weeks? And the reason we can't get together is because I have a _girlfriend_, and said girlfriend is in the next room." She made a move to the door but I jumped up and stood in front of it, blocking her.

"No, not yet. Neither of us is leaving this room til we've finished talking."

"No!" She shouted. Shit, I think I might of pushed her passed her limit. "We are not having this conversation when _you_ are ready. This is the one thing you will not have control over. You have had years to start this conversation, you are not starting it now. We will talk when I'm ready, when _I've_ decided." She pushed me away from the door and stormed out.

I stayed where I was until I heard the apartment door slam shut. I sighed and walked back into the living room, ignoring Rose's glares. I sat next to Em and hoped to become invisible. That hope was shot to shit quickly. Jasper marched down from the kitchen and stood in front of me, blocking the TV.

"What did you say to her?" He demanded. I shrugged. "Tell me."

"Why do you ask me? You're just going to ask Alice later." I leaned around Jasper and grabbed the remote.

"I'd like to hear it from you first." He knocked the remote out of my hand. I glared at him.

"What the fuck is your problem? All I said was they looked cosy together and they left, nothing to do with what I said." I picked the remote up off the floor.

"Did you say you look cosy together or, _you look cosy together_?" He very closely copied my sarcastic voice. My eyes darted away. "The latter then. Does your filter work at all? You know the filter, the barrier that blocks thoughts from escapin' your mouth?"

"I can't help it. _She _brings my anger out quicker." I gripped the controller tighter.

"Don't blame Tanya for your jealously."

"She's the cause of it."

"Maybe so, but if you weren't such a fool with your emotions and how to deal with them, you might have been in her apartment with Alice this very second." He grabbed the controller again and held it behind him. I sighed and leaned back in the couch.

"Why do I get this feeling that we keep having the same conversation over and over again but on a different day?"

"Because you're bein' awkward! You do somethin' that enforces your feelin's then say somethin' that pushes you three steps back. It's infuriatin'."

"That's apart of the repeated conversation as well." I noted.

"Please have an adult conversation with Alice for once. You know adult? The thing you're not."

I inhaled slowly. "Ooh, I don't know if I can do that just yet." Jasper slapped the back of my head. "Okay, ow. I just came out of hospital, you don't hit people who've come out of hospital." I rubbed the sore spot.

"You do if they're actin' like morons." He pulled me up by my arm. "Go to Alice and talk, and don't come back until you do." He pushed me towards the door. I rolled my eyes.

"Jasper, I already had an adult conversation with her, or tried to. She doesn't want to touch me or the situation with a... cattle prod. Though, on second thought she'd probably love to jab me repetitively with a cattle prod." I leaned heavily on the door, the doorknob happily digging into my side.

"You... really?" He sounded really surprised, not that I could blame him. "When, what did you say?"

"Just now. We did it in the bedroom. What did I say... I said I wanted to talk about us, she said there was no us," Jasper let out a low groan. "I suggested a relationship trial thing, not using the best words, she disagreed, obviously, uhh... she tried to leave, I blocked the door, she shouted at me, saying when we talk about us is when she decides, that I'm not calling the shots on this one. She left and here we are." I stared at him expectantly.

"Wow... that's not good." I blinked at him. "Sorry, that's not the right thing to say. I don't know what to advice. Try again and again and again."

"Isn't that a bit... desperate?"

"Okay, try a different angle. She's not going to leave Tanya because you are ready for her, she's not like that. She might not leave Tanya for a long time," I opened my mouth to object. "Don't. I know you don't like the idea but it is a possibility. Try gettin' into her good graces first, then be her friend. I know it's not what you want but it's a start. Perhaps what happened in high school might happen again."

Fuck, why does he have to be right about everything? I heaved a sigh and sagged against the door, the doorknob cutting into another inch of my skin. "What do I do now?"

"Talk to her again but be more calmer, not as full on, apologize and say the ball's in her court."

"Fine, you know it all homo." I grabbed my jacket and walked out the apartment, sitting on my smoking step and pulled out my packet.

"For god sake Bella! Go talk to her." Jasper pulled opened the door and was pointing down the stairs. I sighed and stubbed out my just lit cigarette.

"I'm going, I'm going." I slipped the packet back into my jacket pocket. "Jesus, I just wanted to have my last smoke before I walk into the firing squad again." Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Don't be over dramatic. Go, now."

"I'm going. See," I jumped down the rest of the first flight of stairs. "Happy?"

"Yes, now keep goin'." He stood at the top of the stairs, watching me. I rolled my eyes then walked down the rest of the stairs. When I reached the fourth flight I heard the door slam shut. I sighed and sat on a step, relighting my cigarette. Okay, adult conversation... guess I should get rid of my quick release suspenders and polka dot boxers then. Jesus, my humour is shit today, even to me. My phone screeched at me, telling me someone's calling me.

I pulled it out. "What?"

"Don't stop half way down." Jasper's voice came through.

"How the fuck? Can you see me?" I looked around me, trying to find a camera or a hole in the wall.

"I know you, especially when you're at your most annoyin' and awkwardness. Go and talk to Alice this very second before I come down there and drag you to her."

"Jesus, you nag worse than a wife, I feel so sorry for Embry." I snapped my phone shut before he could throw a bitch fit. I'm gonna pay for that later on. I stubbed out my cigarette and walked the rest of the stairs. It was starting to get dark and was cold as fuck when I opened the door. I pulled my jacket tighter around me and walked north east to Alice's apartment. I probably spent at least ten minutes outside the building, fighting with myself to press the buzzer. I sighed and walked down the steps and headed to the bar.

"Bella!" Charlotte shouted over the music, running around the bar and bear hugged me.

"Hey," I squeezed her back.

"How are you?" She pulled back and ducked under the bar.

I sighed. "Not the best but not the worst." I sat on one of the stools. "Can I get the usual?"

"Of course, my lovely." She walked off to get my beer while I played with one of the beer coaters. "Tell me all about your problems and woes."

"I talked to Alice about us, didn't use the right words, she shouted and left, and _I_ am pushing her away each and everyday." I took the bottle from her hand.

"Aw, want me to join the pity party? I'll make that a free drink." Her sympathy would piss me off if it was someone else. I nodded.

"Join in the fun, sugar." I sighed and threw back my drink.

"Want to talk about it? After all the bartender is the poor man's therapist." She leaned forward on the counter. I shook my head.

"Na, I keep my emotions bottled up, it's easier."

"Then one day it'll all burst out in a big ball of murderous rage." She told me.

"Exactly. Hasn't happened yet but I'm sure it will one day." I chuckled.

"Do you want me to put a sad song on the jukebox?" She reached into her back pocket and put her wallet on the surface.

"I'm not that fucking depressed. I'll just drown my sorrows and self pity." I smiled lazily.

"You would think after someone was mugged coming back from drinking, they wouldn't return twenty four hours later."

"I don't learn my lessons." I slid the empty bottle towards Charlotte. "Same again, Charlatan."

"I've learned not to question your nicknames for people." She replaced my bottle with a full one.

"Well done." I rested on my forearms on the bar. "Go and tend to the rest of the drunks, I'll be fine." I waved her off. She placed another beer bottle in front of me before she walked off to tend to the others. Twenty minutes later, I was half way through my third bottle and had a small pile of torn beer coasters next to the empty bottles. "Bella, привет." Oh fuck no. That Russian accent told me who was behind me. I sighed and glance over my shoulder.

"Hello Tanya." She took that as permission to sit next to me. Great. "How are you?"

"Good, you okay?" She took one of the many pieces of shredded coaster and played with it.

"Just fine." I called over Charlotte and ordered another drink. "Do you want anything?" I asked out of politeness, fuck knows why.

"I'll have a dirty Martini, спасибо." She turned in her seat and crossed her legs. "Why do you stay in New York?"

"My friend Rose is getting married and I'm helping her plan the wedding." I thanked Char and gave her the empty bottle. I bet by the end of the night, I'd drunk so many bottles I could save the entire planet from endangerment.

"You are very sweet" She smiled at me and placed her hand on my arm. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Uh, yea I guess." I drank some out of the bottle. "Will you excuse me?" I got up and walked to the rest room. I washed my hands afterwards and walked back to the bar. Tanya smiled at me and ran her hand through her hair slowly. What the fuck is with her?

"I order you another drink." She pushed the bottle in front of me. I smiled slightly and nodded in thanks. Half an hour later I was feeling pretty fucking fuzzy. I'm pretty sure time was skipping on me. One minute I was sitting next to Tanya in the bar and the next we were outside in the alley next to it, making out. The next minute we were in an apartment – Tanya's I'm guessing – on the couch, pulling each others clothes off. We ended up on a bed, naked and... well you can guess.

I'm sure I was half passed out already since I didn't have a real idea what the crap was happening. Long legs were wrapped around my waist, my face in a neck then sharp pain through my head, moans, someone speaking another language, then... more stuff happened before I properly passed out.

...

I yawned and lifted a hand to rub the sleep out of my eyes. I looked down and saw I had an extra hand on my stomach... I glanced to the left of me and saw a nude painting mounted on the wall, then quickly glanced to the right and saw Tanya sleeping on her side_. Oh shit!_

**XxX**

**Yea... Ooh, this is going to be a rough ride. I almost regret writing this.**

**I can't remember if it's the next chapter or the chapter after, but one of them is going to be a new, never before seen chappie! Finally moving along with the fucking plot.**

**Can someone give me a name of a drug, sort of like Roofies but not quite. Doesn't E make time skip on you?**

**Review my lovely, beautiful, funny as fuck readers. Is the flattery helping?**


	17. Chapter 17

**Anyone played Red Dead Redemption? Now that is a fun fucking game. I just started and at the end of the gaming session, I was suffering from a bad case of the claws. The graphics and the environments are just astounding, I spent at least 20 minutes just riding around the North on that amazing, fast as fuck horse.**

**Right, where are we in the story... Oh yea, Bella fucked up, royally.**

**I suddenly wonder, does anyone read these bits or just block it out and go straight to the beginning of the chappie?**

**XxX**

"Fuck fuck fuckity fuck, oh shit." I jumped out of bed like it was on fire and ran to the bathroom, throwing up everything I'd eaten and drank in the last 24 hours. I can't tell you if that was because of the booze last night or what I'm 100% sure happened in that bed. I'm gonna say 70/30 with the booze losing. I wiped my mouth and pulled on my clothes as quickly as I could, putting my jeans on backwards first time 'round. I'm pretty sure I was having a panic attack. Of all the women in New York I had to fuck her? Why would I? I don't like her, fucking hate her actually, and don't even find her attractive. I ran out of the apartment, slamming the door behind me, and got out of there faster than Speedy Gonzales on fucking speed. I leaned against the apartment buildings wall and exhaled harshly, reaching into my jacket pocket and pulled out my last few cigarettes. Okay okay, calm down and think logically about this. I tried to remember what the fuck happened last night, but I came up blank. I know I didn't drink that much.

I inhaled as far as I could and then threw the stubby cigarette away, turning around to go back to the apartment. Only one person knew what happened and I needed to find out. I pounded on the door, probably waking up most of the people on the floor, and waited. Five minutes later and the door still wasn't open. I rolled my eyes in frustration and knocked again. Fucking finally the door opened and Russian stood.

"Bella, did you forget something?" She was smiling like everything was normal and perfectly fine.

"You're going to tell me what happened last night and you're going to do it now." I pushed my way through and stood in the middle of the living room... /kitchen/bedroom.

"Oh nothing. We have fun and got to know the other very well. The couch, the bed, the kitchen..." She trailed off.

"You dirty son of a bitch," I snapped, glaring and walked closer to her. "What the hell did you do? I could be as drunk as Charlie Sheen on a Friday night and I still wouldn't touch you. What. Did. You. Do. To. Me?" I gritted.

"You seemed tense, I give you something to relax you." She smirked, waving me off like it was no big deal. My eyes widened.

"You drugged me? You fucking drugged me?!" Nothing shocks you faster than that. Actually I think finding out you're pregnant tops, just.

"You did not seem to mind." She walked into her small kitchen.

"How could you?" I was so fucking pissed off, in the animation world steam would be coming out of my ears. "How could you cheat on Alice? She doesn't deserve that. She gave you her trust and you fucking betrayed her." I don't know if I was talking to her or me at this point. "You know, I first thought you were just a Russian whore but you're actually a manipulative, deceiving, bitch of a Russian whore. I'm telling her." I turned around and headed for the door.

"She will not believe you. You are a girl she doesn't want to remember, you must hurt her before and I'm the loving girlfriend. Who will she believe between us?" She was right. Fuck it all, she was right. I swallowed.

"She'll believe me, she has to." I slammed the door shut and went to Alice's apartment. I pressed the buzzer two dozen times in the span of three seconds. "Alice open up, it's me." A couple of minutes later the buzzer went off. I went up on the elevator since I wasn't going to drag my ass up ten flights of stairs. _Ding. _I stepped out of the elevator and walked to my- her door.

"What do you want, Bella?" Alice had the door open enough for her to stand in the threshold.

"I need to talk to you." She frowned and looked like she was debating whether or not to let me in before she stepped away from the door. I nodded in thanks and walked into the familiar apartment, sitting down on the familiar couch.

"What do you want to talk to me about, and this early?" She pulled her robe tighter around herself. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"I did something I regret deeply and I am so sorry."

"What happened?" I stood up and took a step forward.

"Please believe me when I explain. Please." I begged.

"Bella, what happened? You're starting to freak me out."

"Tanya and I had sex." I said bluntly. Her face seem to have frozen.

"You slept with Tanya?" Oh god, the emotionless voice told me this wasn't going to end well. No shit Sherlock, you slept with her girlfriend!

"I didn't start it, I promise you." I saw her take a deep breath, closing her eyes. Her eyes flashed open and anger was in them as clear as the sky. She picked up a glass and threw it at me. I felt the wind rush passed me when I ducked out of the way. Just.

"You bitch!" Alice was on me so quickly, taking us both to the ground and started to hit me, splitting my lip and popping my cheek stitches. I grabbed her wrists and pushed her off me, which was surprisingly difficult. I shuffled as far away as I could from her and touched my bleeding cheek, hissing.

"I can't believe you Bella. Why Tanya?" Her voice cracked slightly.

"Please Alice, you have to believe me when I say I didn't encourage it. Tanya drugged my drink last night."

I heard her laugh. "She drugged you? I've heard excuses but that one takes the crown."

I stood up and walked closer to her, albeit cautiously. If I'm within jumping distance, I'm sure she'll rip out my eyes. "It's true, she told me so herself. I was at the bar on my own and she walked in all friendly and hey how are you, and the next thing I know I wake up in her bed with no memory of what happened. All I drank was four beers and you know that isn't enough for me to forget an entire night. I could be as drunk as hell and still wouldn't sleep with her, and the reason for that is because she's your girlfriend. Yes, I can't keep my metaphorical dick in my pants but I would never sleep with someone who was in a relationship, and you know that. If I did, we would've fucked all through high school and not just when we were available for each other. I am so sorry and regret what happened but it isn't my fault." I took a step closer. "I'll make it up to you, whatever you want and I'll do it."

"You're saying Tanya drugged you?" I nodded, silently hoping she would believe me. "I want you to go. I can't talk to you right now, I need to think." She stood up and walked into the bedroom. "Shut the door behind you when you leave." I nodded and waited until she shut the door before I searched for the key to her apartment and left to go to Starbucks. I bought her favourite – a Caffé mocha and a blueberry muffin – as a peace offering then walked back to her apartment, quietly opening the door, walking on the balls of my feet since I remembered some floorboards squeaked and put the small bag and coffee cup on the counter and tore off a piece of paper, quickly writing a note in my messy scrawl.

_I know this won't make up for everything but hopefully it's a small start._

I put a kiss on the end before I second thought it and crossed it out. I left the key where I found it and slowly crept out the room. It was kinda like a really crappy version of Mission Impossible. Or maybe not, I never watched that film. I went back to Starbucks to get another coffee for Jasper, another peace offering, and headed to wedding planner headquarters. I used their spare key to get in and dropped on the couch, seemingly unnoticed. I saw Rose's back and a hint of bare legs walking around in the kitchen, probably making breakfast for the sleeping bear man. I sighed and dropped Jasper's coffee on the table and picked up one of the wedding magazines. They all looked the same except some had shoulder straps and some didn't.

"Bella there you are, how long have you been back?" Rose came down the steps, spatula in hand.

"I don't know, five minutes?" I shrugged. "So, what you making, Martha Stewart?" I dropped the mag next to me and sunk deeper into the couch.

"Bacon and cheese omelet, do you want me to- what happened to your cheek?" She disappeared in the kitchen but quickly came back out with a roll of paper towel. She gently pressed it against my bleeding cheek. "What happened?"

"Nothing, nothing. It probably just split in the middle of the night." I took the paper off her hands.

"Okay, if you say so. Do you want an omelet?" She walked back into the kitchen.

"No, I'm not hungry. Is Jasper up yet?"

"I just finished my shower. Lovely for you to make an appearance." Jasper came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. "What happened to your cheek and lip?" I touched the split with my tongue and wiped the blood off. People say you can taste the iron or copper but I don't know what the hell they're talking about.

"Nothing of great importance. I brought you a coffee," I slid the cup across the table and leaned back.

"Ooh, my favourite- what did you do?" He eyed the cup like I poisoned it.

"Nothing. Why do you think I did something wrong instead of doing it out of the kindness of my heart?" I asked, innocently.

"Caramel macchiato with whip cream and chocolate shavin's; the forgive me drink." He sniffed it and then took a sip.

"I slept with Tanya." I blurted out. Jasper choked slightly and I heard Rose drop her spatula.

"No, no Bella, please no. Please tell me this is one of your sick jokes no one gets."

"I'm sorry to say it but it's true. You have to believe me, I did not start it, I did not encourage it, why would I want to sleep with her? I hate that bitch."

"Bella this is bad, this is really bad. This is worst than the time you hit Lucy with your car."

"That was an accident. It was my first time behind the wheel."

"You almost killed her."

"I was barely going 10mph." I defended.

"Don't change the subject."

"You started it."

"Stop!" Jasper glared. "I can't believe you slept with Tanya, how could you do that to Alice? You need to tell Alice this, if you try and hide this and she finds out from someone else she'll be destroyed, even more so."

"I told her."

"Oh," He exclaimed. "That explains the lip. How you are still breathin' I will never know. She obviously has more self control than she's credited for." Rose joined the room and was glaring at me. Momma bear's coming out to play.

Like a striking snake, she slapped me on my bleeding cheek and forced me to support myself on the table to stop from falling onto it. "Bella, you have done some despicable things in your lifetime but cheating? You told us more than once that cheating was below you."

"Easy, Rosalie," Jasper straightened me up and supported me til I got my footing.

I blinked a couple times. "It wasn't my fault. I am telling or at least trying, that it isn't my fault. I was at the bar having a drink-"

"You went to a bar instead of talkin' to Alice?" Jasper sounded disappointed.

"It's not like I went straight to it. I stood outside of that fucking building for at least ten minutes. I was scared, not of her reaction to what I'd say," I touched my attacked cheek, and wiped some of the smeared blood around the cut. "But to how she'll react emotionally. If I lost her, it wouldn't be losing just a possible girlfriend and someone I'd happily spend the rest of my life with, as fucked as that sounds coming from me, but also a friend. Next to you Jasper, she's my closest friend."

"Did any of that cross your mind when you were in bed with her girlfriend?" Rose sneered. I took a step back further into Jasper.

"It was not my fault, for fuck sake. The Russian bitch drugged my drink. I know it sounds like a crappy storyline to some crappy soap opera, but it's true. Why would I sleep with her? I hate her, I'd very happily deport her and dance when the ships leaves."

"You're telling us you got roofied, are you kidding me?"

"I don't know if it was roofies but I woke up today with absolutely no memory, and before you say anything," I cut Jasper off before he could argue. "All I drank was three, maybe four beers and you know that's not enough for my memory to be wiped clean."

"You do hold a strong argument, and I can't see why you'd lie about this-"

"I know why she would," Rose stepped in. "She's lied about things very similar to this, why would she change now?"

"Because it's Alice." I took a step forward and glared at her. "You think I wanted to cheat on Alice? I don't cheat, and Jasper can back me up on this, ever since those crappy first relationships I've sworn off cheating, right Jasper?"

"She's tellin' the true, Rose." He shrugged.

"She's obviously broken that oath."

"I was barely conscious-"

"Excuses." She cut me off.

"What do you want me to say? I can't do anything to prove I'm in the wrong. You know what's pissing me off? That you're taking some Russian you haven't talked to more than twice and known for less than a month over me, someone you've known since high school and has been friends for most of that time. I'm going to take a shower." I pushed Jasper out the way.

"You stop right there, Bella." Rose walked around the couch and stood in front of me. "This is not about choosing sides, this is about morals. Tanya is most in the wrong because she's Alice's girlfriend but that doesn't mean you're entirely faultless. Alice is seeing Tanya but Alice's in love with you so it's still your fault."

"How... how does that logic work?"

"She expects more from you and expects you not to sleep with her girlfriend!" She stressed, looking like she was going to hit me again. I sighed and walked around her. "This will not disappear under the rug just because you ignore it, Bella."

"I know that, Rose, but I'm going to make amends. Somehow." I shut the bathroom door behind me.

...

My confession seemed to have hung over all our heads throughout the morning and half of the afternoon. I quickly went to A&E to get new stitches put in, mumbling an excuse to the doc of how they split open. Alice dropped by around four for wedding planning, Tanya in tow and I burned holes in the side of her head as soon as she stepped in the room. She turned her head in my direction and winked at me, smirking. I clenched my hands in anger and stood up abruptly.

"I'm going out for some air, before I kill that bitch." I said the end to myself and stormed out the room, grabbing a bottle of Corona as I passed. I sat on my smoking step, drinking my way through the bottle fairly quick before I jumped up and paced the hallway, trying to get my anger out, clenching my hands repetitively.

"What's wrong, sweet? No one believe you?" Tanya pouted mockingly. I glared at her and took a step towards her.

"Leave me and Alice alone." I growled.

"Why would I do that? She ask me if I drug your drink and she believes me when I say no. You can't win." She grinned at me. She turned around. "Kate is right, you're very persuadable." That made me freeze. Kate?...

"What did you just say?"

"Nothing to worry about." She waved her fingers and closed the door behind her. I clenched my jaw and took a deep breath. Calm down, it's not the same Kate, it can't be. I dropped down on my smoking step and rested my forehead on my palms.

"Bella, are you-"

"Jasper," I held up my hand. "I might of just lost the one person I could truly completely hundred percent love. Please don't start." I pulled out my packet then dropped it on the ground when I found it was empty.

"As a matter of fact, I was comin' to see if you were okay." He sat down next to me on the step. I sighed and pushed my palms against my eyes.

"I'm jumping the moon with joy, can't you tell?" I went to grab my drink that I left on the step but Jasper beat me to it, and held it out of my reach. "Give me my drink, homo."

"No. Alcohol isn't the answer to everythin'."

"It's better than what I used to do." I muttered under my breath.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing," I sighed. "I think I'm gonna give up on the whole love bullshit. I tried a few times, and you know this, each time it fucked up. Riley, he cheated on me. Edward was a manipulative dick. My first girlfriend Kate," I hesitated slightly. "Uhh, she cheated on me," Among other things, I added in my head. "And then there was Alice."

"Bella, don't give up on love, it's not all bad." He set my bottle back on the step on his side.

"Love makes people do terrible things. It's full of doubt, hurt feelings and at the end of it all, only thirty? Percent of the time are the feelings returned. You're one of the lucky fuckers that are in the thirty group." I reached over and grabbed my beer and drank the rest of it.

"Firstly, that's depressin'. Second, fix everythin' with Alice, tell her everythin'; your dreams, your wishes, your deepest darkest secrets. Everythin'."

"If you send her out, I'll talk to her."

"Send her out," He snorted. "As if you're the Sultan of Brunei. I'll take that," He plucked the bottle from my hands. "We'll have to talk about this one day," He waved the empty bottle for emphasize.

"I know and we will... one day."

I waited and five minutes later I was still out here alone. Jasper obviously had to convince Alice to come out here. Another couple of minutes later the door open and Alice appeared.

"Jasper said the Sultan of Brunei wanted to speak with me. I didn't know you moved up in the world so quickly." Alice kept her distance. I chuckled.

"Neither did I." I ran a hand through my hand. "Is it true that you believe what Tanya said earlier?"

"How do you know about that?"

"She came out here when I tried to get away from her, taunting that she won, that everyone believes what she says over me... Is it true?" I stared at my shoes, noticing a spiral patten drawn on the tip of the left shoe.

"Who am I suppose to believe?"

"Me. We've known each other since high school, how long have you known Russian? Two weeks, three? What makes you think she isn't a two timing lying, manipulative, bitch?" Which she fucking is.

"I might've known you the longest but I think you've lied to me enough in these past months to fill up the entire time we've known each other."

"I'm sorry. I could live to be hundred and that's a big if, cause I can't see myself going passed seventy, and never be able to express how sorry I am for everything I've done to you."

"Thank you for the coffee and muffin. It's doesn't even begin to make amends but thanks."

"You have to hit rock bottom before you can crawl back to the top and I must be at least seven layers below it." I smiled lightly. "Remember the time you used a permanent pen to draw a smiley face on my toe?"

"Yea," She chuckled and sat down next to me. "I did it on your fifteenth birthday while you were asleep. I gave it a top hat didn't I? How is it still there?"

"The clue is in the name permanent ink. It's faded slightly but you can see it clearly."

"I thought after a dozen baths it'd disappear." She clasped her fingers together and put them on her knees. "When did you draw that?" She nodded towards the spiral. I shrugged.

"I can't remember... I probably thought it was a good idea at the time. Want to doodle something on the other one?" I turned to face her, folding my left leg under me and stretched out my right one.

"I don't have a pen."

I searched my pockets and found a Home Depot pen. I rolled it across the floor to her. "You'd be amazed at what you can find in my pockets."

"You're telling me. I found a ticket to a 2009 Muse concert in one of them. Give me your foot." She grabbed my ankle and pulled my foot on her lap. "Don't move your foot." I nodded, leaning my back against the wall.

"What's your favourite flower?" I asked. Alice stopped her doodling and looked at me.

"You know that already."

"I know, but humour me." I fluttered my eyelashes. She rolled her eyes and went back to drawing.

"Lily, as you well know. Yours?"

"Mmm... Wolf's bane."

"You don't know what it looks like, you only like it because of the name."

"True." I smiled. "Favourite colour?"

"What's the point of this?" She sighed.

"Humour me." I reminded her. "Favourite colour."

"Red. Yours?"

"Green. If you could be any animal, which one would it be?"

"A... grizzly bear."

"Why a grizzly? I thought you'd pick something like a deer or... a golden eagle."

"The bear is strong and beautiful to look at and known for its caring nature but if you come between the female and her cubs, she'll claw you in half." I chuckled.

"If you're following that logic, you're a bear wearing a human costume. You're strong, both mentally and in freakishly upper body, so beautiful... extremely caring to the people you love and would defend them against anyone whose attacking. As far as I can tell, you're one big ass protective grizzly." I smiled at her.

"If we're following your way of thinking, you must be a giant jackass." She smiled sweetly at me. I laughed.

"How true. Next question... If I had never slept with Leah would we be together now?" I swallowed and waited for her reaction. She stopped her drawing and removed my foot from her lap, putting the pen on the floor next to me.

"I'm finished and that we don't have anything else to talk about, I'm going back inside." She stood up, dusting herself off.

"Alice," I begged. "Please, can't we talk about this, finally?"

"It doesn't matter. What ifs, could've, would've, there's no point in thinking about it because it hasn't happened, and obviously for a reason."

"Fate? You're believing in _fate_? If fate is real and our paths are already set out in front of us before we even make the decision, then why do we decide things that obviously endanger us or others around us, hurt people, cause worldwide tragedy?"

"You completely missed the point, Bella. We didn't happen because you chose not to. We've finished talking." She shut the door behind her. I sighed and dropped my head on the wall. I think that was a step in the right direction for us... right?

**XxX**

***shrug* I lull in this part of the story but hopefully the next chapter picks up and you guys'll think it's good. Next chapter is the lead up to the wedding, and the stag do.**

**Review and suggest some games I might like.**


	18. Chapter 18

**I think it's fair to say I fucking suck at RDR. I've played it only three times, each session roughly an hour long, and done four missions, but in those times my horse has died twice, Marston has died once and I had found Twin Peaks, knew nothing of Dead eye, so the woman died. If anyone has found that hideout, you know what I'm talking bout. But I did save two whores in Armadillo so I'm beginning to consider titling Marston, John Marston; Whore saver.**

**Right, this is a brand new chapter I think. This or the next one, it's been so long I can't remember. Just in case anyone points out, I know weddings can take anything from 6 months to even 3 years to plan but I'm not doing that. One, because it'd slow down this story even more if I wrote the months of planning but if I did a bigger time skip it'd take such a chunk out of the story, I mean a lot can happen in 6 months. So, imagine Rose is very organized and knows what she wants and gets it done.**

**XxX**

_3 weeks later._

Ugh, three weeks worth of wedding planning. It's like Satan had taken a hold of Rose's body and turned her into pure evil. Trying on dresses after dresses, I don't think I've ever loved Em more than when he asked me to be best man... or best woman in my case. The asking of best man and maid of honour – Alice – went a little different. Mine: 'Bella banana, you want to be best man?' 'Sure, why not?'

Rose: 'Alice, do you want to be my maid of honour?' Then there was just so much squealing that it sounded like two dolphins fucking.

I tried to get Rose to agree to let me wear jeans and a band shirt cause I'm not wearing a full blown tux, but the look she gave me... wow. In two days the wedding starts and instead of calming as I thought would happen, the hysterics seem to go up ten fold. Things between me and Alice are... not shit but not great, in the middle. We acknowledge each other and ask how we are but don't really talk beyond that. It's quite fun if you're into that masochistic bullshit, which I apparently seem to be.

"Bella, for the last time, can you please try on your suit?" Rose asked, rollers in her hair and a face pack thing. I think she was doing the make up test run.

"And for the last time, I'm not wearing a suit. I know I'm butch but Jesus, I'm not that butch."

"Then you'll have to wear a dress, one or the other." She wasn't budging on this.

"I'm not wearing a dress. Why can't I wear some black jeans and a shirt?"

"Why are you being so difficult? All I'm asking of you is to put on a dress which you don't even have to wear the whole day, you can take it off at the reception."

"I just don't feel comfortable in a dress." I shrugged.

"Then wear a suit. Please Bella, I'm only asking you to do this one thing."

"One thing? I have to get that huge fucker out of bed and to the wedding, that's like climbing mount Everest, keep the rings safe, make a speech which I haven't even started on and plan the fucking bachelor party."

"Plan a bachelor party," She snorted. "You'll drag him to a strip club then to a dozen bars, that's an average Tuesday to you."

"Hey," I started offended. "I've never been in a strip club in all my life."

"I'm not judging-"

"I haven't been in a strip club!" I insisted.

"It doesn't matter. Please can you wear a suit for only one day, not even a full day." She begged. I sighed.

"Fine, for you and this fucking wedding." I slipped down from the counter and grabbed my jacket and keys. "Okay, where can I look at it and go ooh and aah?"

"I have it reserved, go to Greenwich street, it's next to Tiffany's."

"You had it reserved? You knew I was going to fold." I picked up my wallet and headed for the door. "Uhh, where is Tiffany's?"

"It's next to the tailors."

"I don't know where the hell that is."

"It's seven or eight shops away from Victoria Secrets." I shook my head. She sighed. "You've been here for more than three weeks, five years on top of that, and you still don't know where anything is. The tailors are across from Vibrations." She gave me a pointed look.

"You should've started with that one first, I know where that is." Rose raised an eyebrow. "Roughly." I added.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Right, see you later." I quickly shut the door behind me. Whenever a large crowd crosses the street I always think of sheep being led to the slaughter, don't know why but I do. I went to Greenwich street, passed Vibrations – after taking a little glance at the window – and crossed the street to the tailors.

"Hey, is there a suit reserved under Rosalie Hale?" I asked the girl behind the desk, who looked me up and down. I barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes at her.

"Yes, and you are?"

"The person whose going to try it on." I said simply.

"You?" She quirked an eyebrow and looked me up and down again. "It is a suit you know."

"Yea," I stretched out like I was talking to a three year old, which I might as well have. They're much more fun to be around instead of snobby bitches like this one... Well for an hour or so, then they get annoying. "That's why I asked if there was a suit here for me, funny how that makes sense huh?"

"Excuse me Miss, I don't deserve to be talk to like this."

"Yea but I don't deserve to be treated like this. So _you _can stop with the fucking attitude cause you're just a girl in a shop and I'll go take my business elsewhere." I left the shop and walked back to the apartment.

"What are you doing back without the suit?" Rose confronted me as soon as I stepped through the door.

"I didn't see it; the snobby bitch behind the desk wouldn't let me." Okay that's kinda bending the truth a little.

"She didn't let you see it?" She sounded doubtful.

"Okay, she was being a snobby bitch and I wasn't taking her shit laying down, so I left. Know any other suit places?" I tried to get further into the room but Rose blocked my path. I sighed. "What?"

"You're not coming back inside this house until you have a suit."

"It's an apartment, not a house." I pointed out, quite smugly. She pointed over my shoulder.

"Go now. Try the shop down on Prince street. And I swear to god if you piss them off, I'm going to kill you." She pushed me out of the door and closed it in my face. I nodded slowly at the closed door and turned around, heading to 6th Avenue. I walked up and down that fucking street at least three times, trying to find this store. My phone beeped in my pocket. I pulled it out and read Rose's text.

_It's not on P street take sub to 69 street_

I rolled my eyes and followed her directions. Dolce & Gabbana? I frowned and checked my messages again to make sure I got the right place. I shrugged and walked into the store.

"Hey," I nodded to the guy standing in the middle of the floor. "I know this'll sound weird but do you have a suit that'll fit me, I'm going to a wedding and I'm the 'best man'."

"I'll look in the back and see if I can find something for you." He smiled at me and opened a door then disappeared. I walked around and looked at all the pretty dresses and suits on display. They all looked quite formal and... not me.

Guy came back out with a couple of jackets. "These should fit but if not we can always make alterations. What are you looking for? What style do you prefer?"

"I'm not big on formal, more casual but the soon to be wife wants me to clean up a bit. I don't want to look like the valet or a waiter. Something along the lines of smart casual." He nodded and lead me to the dressing rooms. He looked thoughtful when he put the jackets on the chair.

"I think a blazer is what you're looking for. Wait one minute please." He disappeared again and I looked through the small pile. Formal... formal... formal... waistcoat... something that looked like it belonged in a boarding school.

"Here are several blazers, anything there that interests you?"

"No, sorry. I'm not a formal chick." I gave him the suits and took the blazers off him. I quickly looked through them and found a few that seemed good.

"If you find anything you like, there is a spare dressing room through there," I nodded in thanks and took the three I liked. The first was a light grey colour, the lapels black. The next was a plain black one, not made from the best material – look at me being a snob – and last was another black one, quite casual on the suit scale, short in the sleeves and overall my favourite. I shrugged it off, folding it over my arm and grabbed the others then gave them to Guy. Seriously that's his name, I checked his tag.

"Thanks, I think I'll take this one." I handed the rejected ones to him.

"Good choice. Any problems?" He left them on the chair and walked to the cash machine.

"Nope, fits like a glove."

"Excellent. This costs $550, will you be paying in cash or credit?"

"_Right..._ guess I won't be eating for the next months." I pulled out my wallet and out my card.

"Would you like to buy a shirt, it's only $200." He's fucking kidding right?

"I'm guessing you work on commission?" I raised an eyebrow. "I'm fine, I've got one at home," Bullshit but I am not spending $200 on a white shirt that I'll only wear once... it's my same line of thinking with a wedding dress now that I think about it. I gave him my card, paid – mentally complaining – and left.

"Thanks god, you finally got one. Let me see." She grabbed the bag without me saying anything and looked inside. "This... where's the rest? This is only the jacket."

"That's all I got. You really thought I was getting the whole set?" I laughed.

"Bella, I asked for you to get a suit and you said you would, this is not a suit." She waved my jacket in my face. I rolled my eyes and took it out of her hand.

"Trust me, Rose, I'll have it all finished and ready in time for the wedding." I patted her cheek which was now clean of the mask and went into the bathroom to change, nodding at Jasper as I passed.

"So, what do you think?" I pulled the collar tighter and did a ta da sort of movement.

"It'd be very nice without the Nirvana shirt under it and ripped jeans." I rolled my eyes.

"Well obviously, forget about the rest, just the jacket."

"It suits you very well but don't you think it's a tad casual for a weddin'?" Jasper circled me like a lion, scrutinizing me at all angles.

"I'm only the best man."

"Exactly. The best man, not someone whose sittin' at the very back."

"No one will be looking at me." I pointed out.

"Except all your lady friends." I snorted and sat on the couch, feet on the coffee table.

"I have no lady friends."

"No, you don't. I always thought since you're 70% man in personality you'd make women friend easily, unlike women who bitch 'bout other women." Jasper sat down next to me and moved my feet off the table.

"Whitlock," I scolded playfully. "That is a typical stereotype and like most stereotypes, it's true." I tilted my head on the back of the couch and looked at an upside down Rose. "So what's the plan for the rest of the day, Big bird?"

"Everyone is doing final fittings, you your only fitting. Alice is coming over in..." She looked at the clock on the wall. "Ten minutes to help me with my dress and so forth."

"Fun. Then we can do each others nails and bitch about our boyfriends." I deadpanned. "Jasper, can I burrow your shirt?"

"Why?" He frowned.

"So I can see what this looks like with a shirt." I stated obviously.

"The jacket sleeves are too short, you'll see all of the shirt."

"It'll be fine, you'll see. Give me the shirt off your back." Jasper sighed and unbuttoned his shirt, revealing quite a lovely chest I hummed. "If only you weren't gay."

"Yea, I'm a perfect slice of heaven." He handed his shirt to me and sat back down.

"So modest. One of the things I love about you." I slipped my jacket off, throwing it at Jasper and then began to take my shirt off.

"Whoa whoa stop. I do not want to see your... you. Are you at least wearin' a bra?" I shook my head. "Really? Well look at you, still perky." He sounded impressed. I rolled my eyes.

"Why are you surprised? It's not like my tits fall into my shoes whenever I take a bra off."

"Lovely imagin'. Is it so difficult to go into the bathroom to change?" I heaved a sigh and stomped off to the bathroom. "Stop actin' like a child." I huffed and took my shirt off. "Close the door." I rolled my eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me."

"How the hell could you tell?" I turned around making him look the other way. "Oh grow up, you've seen them more than a gay guy should see a pair."

"Bella put a shirt on, this isn't the Playboy mansion and it's making Jasper embarrassed." Rose sighed from the kitchen.

"You could've fooled me with the mansion." I pulled on the shirt, buttoning it up halfway and folding the sleeves a couple of times. "What you think?"

"I'll have a Chicken salad with island dressin'."

"I haven't put the jacket on yet you little fuck," I narrowed my eyes at him. I picked up the jacket, pulling it around me and did the one button for good measure. "What about now? And if you say a waiter again I will throw you through the window." Jasper and Rose ran a critical eye up and down me.

"You look like a best man." Jasper said.

"That's it?" I asked confused. "No remarks, no giveth and taketh away comments?"

"Nope, I'll leave that area in Rose's expertise."

"Thank you." I ruffed his hair as I passed on my way to the kitchen. "What do you think, Big bird?" I did a little twirl – first time I assure you.

"When will you stop calling me by that god forsaken name?" Rose looked my way and examined me again that made me feel a little naked. "You look the part. I must admit in the beginning I was concerned about you being the best man but I believe you'll do a great job." I smiled and hugged her.

"Thank you, Big bird." She glared at me. "If you didn't experiment with your hair I never would have started the name." Senior year, her senior year, one day she came into school with hair that looked exactly like Big bird from Sesame street, ever since then her alias has been Big bird to me.

"I will never forgive you for that."

"Oh, I never told anyone else about the name, calm down." A half a dozen knocks hit the front door. "Bella can you get that, it's probably Alice." I nodded and headed for the door, pressing down on Jasper's shoulder when he started to get up. I opened the door and Alice stood there – no Tanya, thank fucking god - with two long bags that kinda looked like a body bag to me over her arm and Jasper's suit over her other.

"Wow," Alice looked quite shock as she looked me over. What the hell is so surprising about me looking half decent? "I think this is the first time I've seen you in a suit. I didn't know you could clean up so well."

I smiled and shrugged, running a hand through my hair. "It's not complete yet," I stepped out of the way and tilted my head. "Come in." Alice slid passed me and draped the clothes over the back of the couch next to Jasper. I closed the door. "How come I had to pick up my suit myself while everyone else got theirs pixie delivered?"

"Because she was going to pick up the original but you pissed off the girl in the shop, and as you said it's not a suit." Rose materialized next to the dress and picked it up gingerly, like it was going to burst into flames if you touched it wrong.

"She started it." I muttered. "Ugh, and you bitch at me for not wearing a shirt." I threw Jasper, who was still shirtless, his suit.

"I'm not wavin' my breasts around."

"And neither was I."

"What happens here when I'm not about?" Alice frowned. Rose shook her head and took her dress into her bedroom.

"You don't want to know. Alice come in here to help me get in this." Alice nodded and followed suit. I sighed and climbed over the back of the couch and slid down next to Jasper.

"Was there a reason for that?"

"Wanted to do something different." I shrugged.

"Oh Bella," He sighed. "You're different through and through."

"I know, I'm pretty fantastic,"

"Hmm... So Bella," Jasper began.

"Oh god, what?" Here it comes, I've done something unforgivable that I didn't realize I've done.

"Nothing bad. It seems to me that it's been three weeks since you've been with a woman."

"What the hell, are you keeping tabs on me? But yea, I haven't been in another bed, and I'm pretty sure any day now it'll close up."

Jasper looked at me for a long time. "It'll _close _up?"

"Yea, like an ear pierce."

"Like an ear pierce?" I nodded. "It's been three weeks, not three decades, stop bein' hysterical."

"I'm not being hysterical. On the internet I read that some woman in Montanna hadn't had sex in so long that her pussy closed back together."

"How do you come across these websites? You know what, I don't want to know." He grimaced. "Since you've seemed to take up a vow of chastity, how are you doing with celibacy? Don't lie." He gave me a stern look.

"I'm doing okay, haven't reached the stage of seeing naked women everywhere but I'm sure it'll come one day."

"Stop being pessimistic, take it one day at a time... like the drunks." He said it like it was a good thing.

"Yea, I'm the whole package; an alcoholic, pretty sure a part time sex addict, emotionally unstable and oh yea, I'm a dick." I counted off on my fingers.

"You're not all those... it's not like... you're tryin' to change yourself and that's all that matters. Since we're on the subject," He hesitated. "Do you think now is a good time to talk about your drinkin'?"

"Nope," I said simply.

"You can't be in denial all your life, you did that for half of your life already."

"I know that and I'd like for you to not bring _that_ up again. I'm not in denial, I know I have a problem, I'm just not ready to deal with it yet. Don't want to stir the demon, he and I are on good terms at the moment." I stood up, stretching my sore muscles, how they're sore I'll never know, and walking into the kitchen. "Want a drink, homo?" I turned on the coffee machine and waited.

"No, it's too early to be drinkin' for me."

"I actually meant coffee."

"Oh," I heard the surprise in his tone. "Uhh sure." I pulled out two mugs, putting one sugar and cream in Jasper's and made mine as black as possible. I need something to pick me up. I brought them into the living room, passed Jasper his and sat on one of the arm rests. "So... how are you and Embry?"

"We're doin' great, I'm meetin' his parents after they get back from Oregon." And there's that love sick puppy dog look.

"Good for you. Just don't, you know, fuck it up." I wrapped my fingers around the cup and took a sip. Alice walked out of Rose's room.

"Jasper, can you come in here, we're having a small problem with the dress." Jasper got up without another word to fix a probably very small insignificant problem.

"You know, I'm not even surprised anymore when you ask Jasper for help with something girlie." I put my coffee on the table and leaned backwards.

"Yes, well, you're not exactly the best person for the job." Alice walked further into the room and sat down on the edge of the couch. Tense, I noted. I chuckled.

"I know. I'm positive that I was born the wrong gender." I saw her crack a smile. "Would you like a coffee?"

"Please, thanks. Two sugars, no-"

"Cream," I finished. "I know." I smiled and walked back into the kitchen.

"Here you go," I handed her over the mug which she put on the table.

"Thanks. Sorry but this has been driving me crazy," She stood up and walked up to me. I held my breath. She pulled out my shirt sleeves and folded them over a couple of times, folding it over the hem of my jackets' sleeves, then smoothed down my lapels. "There. You don't look as unkempt, even if the shirt is too big for you."

"Thanks," My voice came out like I'd huff some helium. I cleared my throat. "Thanks, I'm not really good at suits."

"It's hardly a suit, Bella." She chuckled, tugging at one of my sleeves down.

"It is by my standards." I swallowed heavily and screwed up my courage, leaning forward slightly, expecting her to move away, slap me and then tell me to never come near her again, but that didn't happen. Her eyes were guarded but she stayed put. I started to lean forward more but the front door burst open. Alice jumped up and away from me.

"Whoa, sorry." Em darted his eyes anywhere in the room except us. Alice was moving her eyes in a similar fashion.

"I'm going to... uhh see how Rosalie is doing." She left the room so quickly I'm surprised she didn't leave behind smoke.

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't know you'd be making your move." Em said, looking apologetic.

"Meh," I waved my hand dismissively. "Doesn't matter, she'd probably slap me afterwards; it'd just make the situation worse and it's finally getting better... kinda." I unbuttoned my jacket and threw it on the table, flopping down on the couch. "How was work? Spit in anyone's food cause they pissed you off?"

"No," He chuckled, sitting down next to me. "It was a slow day compared to the normal." He put his feet up on the table "Is that your best man suit?"

"Yup, as non-formal as I could possibly find. You know, if you don't mind, I could use your chef pants instead of jeans, they're a type of uniform." They kinda looked like pyjamas but the black and white chequered pattern had a certain appeal to them... in a circus sort of way. Em laughed.

"I don't think Rose will approve of that, and don't anger the future Mrs. McCarthy." He almost glowed with the last word. I smiled.

"Yea, less than 48 hours and she's the bear man's woman, and _you_ get your balls collared with a jingle bell." I glanced at my watch. "Right, we're having your stag night tonight so I don't have the worry trying to get your fat hungover ass out of bed on the wedding day. So, call up people and tell 'em stag night."

It'd just gone passed eight when someone knocked on the door. I was pretty much in the same position when I talked to Em earlier, different shirt on and beer in hand. "Hi suckers!" Benjamin's natural Italian accent, that he somehow was able to keep over the years, rang loud and clear through the apartment. You would immediately label Benjamin as a bad boy with the greaser look he had but he couldn't be further from that. He had a slight olive tone to him – thanks to his Italian genes – chin length black hair he either combed back, no gel, or tied into a small ponytail, dark brown eyes and has grown a little beard since I last saw him. I tilted my head to the back of the couch, looking at him upside down and smirked at the little Italian fuck.

"Hey nobjocky, been awhile since you breezed through my door."

"If you gave me a ring every once in a blue moon, I'd come a knocking." He walked up behind me and gave me a kiss on the nose. He untied his trusty old motorcycle boots and placed his feet on the edge of the coffee table, his normal gentleman self. He rolled up one of his shirt sleeves and showed off a new tattoo on his biceps. Benjamin was the one, along with Char, who got me into tattoos in the first place, was there when I got my first tattoo and nearly had his hand broken when I squeezed it too hard.

"What you got there Benny?" I lifted his sleeve further up and inspected his new ink.

"It is a phoenix; I'm creating a new start for myself and I wanted to mark the step in my life. Do you like it?"

"Very nice with your skin tone. What is this new start on life?"

"I'm starting college. I was accepted into Stern school of business and then afterwards I'm going to find a school for mechanics." He stated proudly.

"That's great, you and Charlotte can go into business together. One part of the building can be a tattoo parlour and the other part can be an auto shop."

"A million dollar idea you have there, Bella." He laughed. "What's the plan for tonight?" He turned his head towards Em. Em shrugged.

"Wait for the rest of the guys and then... go drinking, maybe a night club since for some reason there's no point in going to a strip club." He pouted at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Like you really want to go to a strip joint. You're so pussy whipped they could be dancing tit naked around you, which most of them do, and you wouldn't noticed." I pointed out.

"Pot, kettle, black."

"No, I'd noticed just not act on it." Benjamin looked at me oddly. "What?"

"Not act on it? Are you in a relationship? Is it with Alice, I always thought you two would be delizioso together; balance one another." I think he just dug himself a nice little hole there.

"Yea join the club. No, we're not together, probably never will be. Can we get going now?" I stood up.

"The rest of the guys haven't arrived yet. We have to get least one beer in us before we set tracks." Em disappeared in the kitchen and returned with three beers.

"Set tracks," I snorted. "You're spending too much time with Jasper." I took my brand from his hand, twisted the cap off and took a swig. We talked about trivial stuff; Benjamin moving to the East Village, planning on what to do with his career ideas, the wedding that's immanent and... meaningless bullshit. I was down to my second beer while the other two were still nursing their firsts when the doorbell rang... since when the hell did they have a doorbell? Em jumped up from the couch and bounded his way over to the door, swinging it open and bear hugged the poor bastard on the other side.

"Mikey!" Mikey was Em's old college roommate. I've only met him a couple of times since he left for Europe to do... something. From what I heard from Em, he's opening up a bar or a deli in Brooklyn soonish. It might be a brothel now that I think about it. Despite the name, Mikey is nothing like a guy from the mob more like... a rougher version of Em, they even look fairly similar though Mikey's hair is more wiry than curly and he doesn't have the dimple, and kinda has a square head.

"Peter, Elliot, Jesse, Toby, Russell, beers are in the kitchen, help yourself." He waved them through.

"Russ!" I more or less jumped over the couch and pulled Russell in a death grip, winding my legs around his waist. Yea, I know this might be a strong reaction but Russ is my oldest and best friend next to Jasper. We've known each other since New Mexico where we were the closest of friends up until I was 13 where we lost a bit of contact cause I moved to New York among other cities, then his family moved to Upper East side – daddy a very successful lawyer – and we had a very small relationship when we ran into each other but then I figured out I liked women better.

"Bella, baby!" His husky voice flew passed my ear as he returned the hug. "Ugh, I missed you. How are you, is everything okay?" He looked down at me. I rolled my eyes and waved my hand.

"Usual usual. How about you? Wife, kids, whole nine hundred yards?"

"Of course not, only a girlfriend in the time being." He gently lowered me to the ground. "How are you in the relationship area? A proper one on the horizon?"

"Of course not," I repeated him. "No relations of any kind at the moment. It's a barrel of fun. Uhh... what the fuck is this?" I turned his head to the side and grabbed his ear after moving his shaggy chestnut hair out of the way. "Since when the hell did you like spacers?" A small ring, just large enough to stick your pinkie through adorned his left ear.

"Since seven months ago. What's wrong with it? I think it suits me perfectly."

"Yea but... if you show up one day with a plate in your lip like those Amazonian tribes, I will pull it through your chin." I poked him in the chest and walked back to the couch. "So, who is this wonderful woman that has captured your fluttering heart?"

"How much of these have you had?" Russ leaned over the back of the couch and took my empty bottle.

I shrugged. "Two, why?"

"You're always more poetic when you've had a few, then turn incoherent." He grinned at me.

"So funny, Russell. So who is the girl?"

"You know her. It's Lucy." _Oh. Fuck._

"Oh. How is she?... Is she still walking with the limp?" I asked hesitatingly.

"No, no! She's in perfect health. She's still a tiny bit annoyed at you." He held his thumb and index an inch apart.

"I really didn't mean to hit her, she came out of nowhere."

"Oi! When you two ladies have finished skipping down memory lane over there, we'll be at the bar." Em waved at us as he made his way to the door. I rolled my eyes and went to grab my jacket.

"Okay, lets get this bastard drunk and left cuffed to a lamp post, you know the usual."

We started slow with a bottle of beer here and there at the first two bars before we started getting really into it; three rounds of tequila shots, two of jello shots and a round of a shot called a 3 dollar hooker that was fucking lovely, and we even got a barmaid for Em to take a body shot off of. We were at our sixth... seventh? I think seventh bar, Em and Peter trying to play pool but failing miserably and the rest laughing at them, with the exception of Toby who looked close to passing out, while I was at the bar getting the next round.

"Hey there beautiful, why is someone as pretty as you all on her lonesome?" A girl, fairly drunk, spoke next to me. She was... pretty hot I guess, not my type but I guess I can see a certain appeal.

"Is there something you want?" I barely glanced her way. I heard a giggle to my right and then a pair of hands latch on my arm.

"I can see something I want in front of me." She slurred at me. I barely had enough control to stop grimacing in nausea.

"Let go of me and walk away."

"Now don't be like that, pretty face. You look all lonesome, let me change that." Her hands moved lower until they were on the hem of my jeans. I grabbed her wrists and turned to face her fully.

"Go now before I pop those fake tits of yours and make you fly around this room like a balloon." I pushed her away, picked up the guys drinks and walked over to the pool table. "Here you go guys, even though I think you two have had enough." I pointed to Em and Peter, who were still trying to pot the fifteen balls. I can only see this ending in tears when one of them hits the other with their cue.

"Na, we're good for a couple dozen more," Em giggled like a little girl and lined up his shot, missing the white ball completely. I rolled my eyes and sat next to Russ, passing him and the rest their drinks.

"Right, where to next? Hopefully these drunken dicks will finish soon."

"Oh I know!" Russ slapped his hands on the table... for some reason. "We can go to the Antarctica, we need to leave Toby somewhere." He put his index finger on Toby's forehead and pushed his head back. Toby was definitely on the cusp of passing out. "Good idea, right Jesse, right?" I think he meant to nudge Jesse but more or less elbowed him in the ribs. I don't think I've ever met Jesse before cause I can't place his face anywhere in my mind, all I know is that he's quiet when he's drunk.

"Is he knocked out?" Peter stumbled his way over to the table and pointed at Toby.

"Pretty much." I finished off my beer and pushed it to the collection of bottles and glasses we kept in the middle.

"Lets shave his eyebrows." Peter gained a sparkle of mischief in his eyes and started searching himself for a razor, I guess.

"You shave off his eyebrows and Charlotte will have your balls." I informed him.

"I'm not scared of her."

I snorted. "Right okay, and I fucked Elizabeth Hurley." I started stacking the shot glasses in a pyramid, surprisingly hard when your hand eye coordination is shot to shit. "Come on people, lets hit the next drinking hole; they've run out of Corona."

"Em's finished with pool anyway," Em was slumped over the table, cue still in his hand and was bouncing the white ball off the cushions. "Lets go, don't forget to bring snoozy over there."

We made our way to Antarctica, it taking twice as long as usual, and stumbled through the door. Adrenaline Rush, Big O, Flaming Cocaine, Sweaty Mexican and Slippery Sailor to name a few shots we did on the last leg of our drinking tour, and by round Flaming Cocaine, Toby was well and truly unconscious, head on the table and a string of drool coming from his mouth – goddamn lightweight. We decided to call it a night when even Benjamin was close to dropping, that guy can hold liquor like no other. We finished up our last drinks and first dropped Toby off at his apartment that was above the tattoo shop, that taking over ten minutes because he couldn't find his keys, left Russ with people that would take him to his apartment and left Benny at the hotel he was staying at. I don't know why he's at a hotel. I can't remember what happened to the rest of the guys.

Me and Em supported each other as we made our way to his apartment, laughing far too loudly at... something. How we got up the stairs was a mystery since we could barely stand and walk. We tried to be as quiet as possible as we walked through the front door, failing miserably.

"Great night Bella, best stag night I've ever had." He slurred horribly, making the sentence sounding like one long word.

"Only stag night you've had. Night Em, don't wake the missus." I patted him on the head, hitting his face once, and made my way to the couch, my bed for as long as I stayed here while Jasper had the spare room, don't know how that happened but I'm pretty sure I was tricked. I didn't bother taking off my shoes – don't think I was capable – just fell on the couch and passed out.

**XxX**

**Each shot is real, each shot I have had. The next chapter is the wedding and shit actually happens!**

**I know it might seem like after lines of dialogue there seem to be stuff missing but I've never been a big fan of putting he said she said after every line. I really only put how they say the line, sometimes forgetting that, and whose saying the line.**

**Review, and could someone suggest a reception venue for Rose and Em's wedding. At the moment I'm very vague about the details and where it is.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Right wedding time! In advance, I'l like to apologize for any inaccuracies there are in the wedding. I've never been invited to one, can't imagine why, and I can't think of a single movie, series, or play that has a wedding in it that can give me a rough idea of what to do. No, that's not entirely true. The only wedding I can think of is the Red Wedding from Game of Thrones, and that isn't the kind of thing I want happening at all. If anyone is reading the books, do not Google Red Wedding, it is one of the biggest spoilers of the whole book.**

**I've finally, _finally,_ finished this giant agonizing pain in the arse of a story. I just finished the epilogue about 5 minutes back. What do you guys think of a sequel? Though it's not really a sequel, more of a mini series, kinda like a thank you and a reward for the readers that have stuck with this story since the very very beginning, which was what, at least two years ago? Shit, has it really been that long? People have written and published proper, better books in lesser time.  
**

**XxX**

_Throb... throb... throb... throb... throb..._

Jesus, what the crap happened last night? Shots... more shots... more shots... some girl... a bit more drinks. Oh right, that explains the pain.

"She looks like a drunken angel."

"Really? Because I was thinkin' passed out hobo."

"I am conscious you know." I rolled over and found Jasper and Alice staring at me. "You know, if you both are a couple of inches closer that's a great way to scare the crap out of someone whose just woken up."

"Oh darlin' you wake up lookin' like that and you'll scare the crap out of anyone." Jasper told me.

"Well... thanks for that, I feel even more better than I do already."

"You don't look like it, you look like someone hit you with a shovel, buried you, dug you up an hour later then rolled you through a bush." It was nice that Alice was throwing in her two cents on the matter.

"Don't I feel special, you said that with so much love." I yawned and stretched. "Right, anything interesting happening today or can I go back to sleep?"

"It's the rehearsal today in two hours; you've been asleep for over 13 hours." She sounded so disapproving, I kinda felt like a child being told off.

"It's not my fault we got in at 2 in the morning, it's not my fault we were so drunk I'm pretty sure we left Toby in a pub somewhere, and it's not my fault I'm late for the rehearsal."

"You're not givin' yourself a good case, Bella." Jasper informed me.

"I know." I sighed. "Why do I have to go to this thing anyway, I'm not the bride or groom."

"No, but you are the best man and at the reception you have to make a speech." My eyes widened. Ah shit, I knew there was something I had to do. "You haven't done it have you?" Alice didn't sound that surprised. I shook my head. "Jesus Bella, it was the one thing you _had _to do. Do you think you can throw a quick speech in an hour?"

"No." I said simply. It was the truth, I would have trouble getting it done sober without the hangover so there wasn't a hope in hell I'd get one done now. "Wake me up in an hour." I rolled over and tried to settle in the tiny ass couch.

"Rose, she's not gettin' up."

I heard a sigh. "Get the bucket."

Bucket?

Ice cold, fucking freezing water was poured over me. I jolted up and off the couch, shivering and probably looking like a hungover drowned cat.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Before I could complain further Rose was suddenly inches away from me. Oh shit.

"Today is my wedding," I wanted to correct her but I just knew that would end badly for me. "And you are not going to ruin it. You are going to get your alcohol soaked ass dressed, looking presentable and able to string a coherent sentence together, do you think you're capable of that?" I nodded, albeit shakily. "Good, now hurry up." She stormed off into her room.

Jasper let out a low whistle. "I don't think I've ever seen Rose that... that..."

"Angry?" Alice supplied.

"No... determined fits somewhat more."

"Shut up you two." I bit out. "I'm getting dressed."

"Yes, better do what Rose tells you before she shouts at you again." Alice snickered. I laughed mockingly and went to grab a clean set of clothes. I brushed my teeth instead of the usual washing my mouth out with whiskey after a night of drinking, then ran my fingers through my hair, trying to tame it before spraying myself with some Lynx.

"You're not wearing that." I didn't even have my second foot out the bathroom before Rose zeroed in on me. I looked down at myself and didn't see anything wrong; the new shirt I bought, a pair of black jeans – not ripped – and a pair of socks that had a hole in it. I wonder who took off my shoes, and my jacket for that matter.

"What's wrong with it?"

"You look like one of the waiters." She pushed me back in the bathroom. "Change."

"Rose, I say this as a friend," I took both her hands in mine. "You're acting like a crazy bitch. Calm down. Tomorrow is your wedding day and I promise you it is going to be perfect and you're going to look beautiful. I can look a little scruffy since it's the rehearsal today but tomorrow I'll be presentable, promise." I dropped her hands and walked to the couch, collecting my jacket from over the back of it and shrugged myself into it. "Are we ready to go?" I found my shoes and began lacing them up. "Cause I heard it was going to rain and I don't want this shirt to be anymore see through."

"I can already see your bra Bella, I don't think it matters." Jasper pointed out as he passed me. I looked down myself and yes, you could see my black bra quite clearly.

"I won't wear one tomorrow, problem solved."

"Oh great, that's all we need," Rose's calmness had obviously worn off. "You up there while everyone sees your nipples staring back at them."

"What did we say about calming down? I'll have a bra on and have my jacket buttoned up, no one will see anything inappropriate." I muttered crazy bitch under my breath. "Come on, drag Em out from his hiding place and let's go."

"Hey, I've got a question," I started as we got on the subway to head down to East Village where the venue was. "Are all women this fucking crazy when it comes to their weddings?"

"Yes, that's what happens as soon as the ring is on their finger." Jasper sat down next to me. "Don't worry, you'll be like this when you get married." I burst out laughing. Holy shit, the thought of me getting married to anything was fucking laughable. Clearly.

"Sure, I'll get married when the South gladly welcome homos with open arms, and we _all _know that's never gonna happen."

"Do you always have to tell stereotypical jokes?" Alice wondered.

"Yea, cause it's the easiest way of getting a cheap laugh."

"And when no one laughs?" I pursed my lips before I huffed and rolled my eyes. "That's what I thought."

...

"I am so pissed at you, Bella." Rose threw her purse on the couch as we came back from the not so well rehearsal. She glared at me. "You had weeks, _weeks_, to write a short speech and you haven't even started!"

"I'm sorry okay? It slipped my mind." I tried to defend myself but she cut me off before I could continue.

"Oh yes, between your very hectic life of sleeping with any woman and getting drunk I can understand why it 'slipped' your mind. For god sake Bella, grow up!" Then she stormed into her room with Em following her, looking apologetic at me. That wasn't the worst thing she's said to me but it's up there. I huffed out a sigh and took off my jacket, throwing it over the arm of the couch.

"Right, well, I'm gonna go out for awhile." I headed for the door.

"Oh Bella, come on. Don't let Rose get to you." Alice reached for my arm. I looked down at her hand then to her face. This is the first time she's touched me, skin to skin, willingly since the whole Tanya thing.

"I've got thicker skin than that, plus do you think this is the first time she's said something negative to me, about me?" I smiled slightly. "I'm just going outside to smoke since my smoking step is not allowed anymore." A week earlier the guy who owned the apartment block found me on my smoking step and tore me a new one. I shrugged Alice's hand off me, which hurt cause that touch was probably a one off thing, and walked out the door, slamming it shut behind me.

I heaved a sigh as I fell back on a bench in James walker park and pulled out my half empty packet of cigarettes. I haven't touched these since the smoking step incident. I got a few dirty looks thrown at me from people walking passed me, some even coughing exaggeratedly but all I did in responses was roll my eyes. You know who else had anti smoking laws? Hitler... yea, think of that when you're about to stop me from smoking in a car. I stubbed out my cigarette and sighed. Hopefully when the wedding is over everything will calm down... hopefully.

Wedding day.

"Come on everyone, get in the car. Rose will have my left nut if we arrive after her." Em looked... hell, the boy looked good. The classic black tux looked great on him but Em was Em so his tie had balls and chains on it. I'm positive Rose doesn't know he's wearing that cause I can't see her agreeing to it. Chuckling, I tied up my Converses and grabbed my jacket or blazer as Alice corrected me.

"Rose is going to tear off your arm and beat you with it when she sees you wearin' jeans." Jasper told me while he was adjusting his cummerbund. I was glad that Alice dragged Rose to her place to get her and the other bridesmaids ready.

"Ah, yes, but here's my theory; she'll be so deliriously happy that her wedding day is here she won't notice what I'm wearing. All she'll see is Em walking towards her via aisle." I thought it was a good idea but Jasper disagreed, obviously.

"Bella, you do know that will never work in a hundred years?"

"Ugh, pessimistic. Okay hubby to be, lets go." I patted him on the shoulder as I passed. Jasper and Mikey were his ushers and both had matching navy ties, something to do with the colour scheme, while I had none, only having my nails painted blue to match. We climbed into Em's Jeep, which he rarely used, and headed to Middle church. When they decided on a church I was quite surprised since I don't think neither of them have stepped a foot into a church, at least since childhood.

"You ready to get married, bear man? One woman, rest of your life, mortgage with 2.5 kids?" I was trying to get the sleeves of Jasper's shirt under my jacket but it didn't want to cooperate with me.

"Are you trying to talk me out of marrying Rose?" Em glanced over at me. I snorted.

"Of course not, I'm the one that has to tackle you if you do a runner down the aisle, best man duty and all."

"Jesus Bella, stop while you're ahead." Jasper leaned over from the back seat. "Shouldn't you be drivin'? It's not right for the groom to be driving to his own weddin'. Does that not fall into your best man duties?"

"Nope. Hell, I'm pretty sure the groom deserves a car with a chauffeur, not just the bride."

"It doesn't matter," Em shrugged, grinning at the wind shield. "She can have anything she wants today; she'll make it up to me tonight." Then that dimple popped out.

"Yea, of course she will." I rolled my eyes. "Where are you taking her exactly for the honeymoon?"

"Ma and pop have a cabin in the woods in Tennessee."

"Wow, you're going to drag your newly wedded wife out to the middle of some woods to have some dirty, kinky outdoor sex. I bet that cabin has a bear skin rug in front of a roaring fire."

"It's sheep skin if you must know."

"Jesus, I think that's worse." Em stopped the car opposite the church. "She'll love it Em, trust me." We walked into the church and it seemed we weren't as late as we thought we were, only half the guests appeared to be here.

"How do I look?" Em looked nervous for the first time this day. The other guys wandered off to say hellos I guess and I turned to look him over. Shiny shoes, freshly pressed suit, crisp white shirt that was either hardly worn or brand new and his hair was neatly combed back. I smiled and straightened his tie.

"I'd marry ya. Rose's a lucky girl but remember, if you ever hurt her I'll have to chop your balls off... though I'm pretty sure she wouldn't need any help with that." I reached up and kissed his cheek. "Tell papa bear I said hi, I'm going to the restroom." Papa bear AKA Em's dad was Em thirty years later, attitude and everything. He was the spitting image of him and I'm sure the mother wasn't in the equation when Em came about. I turned but stopped short. "Do churches have bathrooms?" Em laughed and pointed to the back. I muttered a thanks and headed in the directions, still not 100% sure where it is.

I was washing my hands when the door opened and someone ran into me. "Whoa, easy now."

"Forgive me, I not see you there." That unmistakable fucking Russian accent hit my ears. I took a step back and glared at her.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I hissed.

"I am here for Rosalie's wedding. How are you?" Tanya smiled like we were the best of friends. BFF with the big fucking bitch... BFF with the BFB. That made me chuckle.

"How am I... I have the weirdest urge to tear out your fucking hair, how about you?" I smiled tightly.

"There's no need for the violence." She reached out to touch my arm but I quickly sidestepped her.

"Don't come near me. Don't touch me, don't talk to me, stay the fuck away from me." I slammed the door behind me shut and searched for Em. I found him talking to Rose's mother. "Hey Em, can I talk to you for a second? Hello Mrs. Hale." I smiled politely to the stuck up bitch. She came from money then married very well and now thinks she owns the world and God is her butler. Mr. Hale... I don't think I've actually ever met him, all I know is that he's a plastic surgeon or an architect or something, but I know he tears stuff down then rebuilds them ten times better. All in all, how Rose didn't turn out like her bitch of a mother and, what I suspect, spineless father I'll never know, but eternally grateful along with everyone else.

"Beatrice." Every times we've met she's mispronounced my name and I've been getting increasingly pissed off about it.

"If you'll excuse me, Mrs. Hale." I followed him around a corner. "What's the matter?"

"What the hell is Tanya the Russian whore doing here? Isn't she suppose to burst into flames when she steps into a church?"

"I didn't know she was showing up, I didn't do the invitations."

"Did you do _anything_ in this wedding, your wedding? Clothes, decorations, transport, venue, reception venue, any of the guests?"

"We both agreed on the venues and I had majority sway over the food, with my background and job."

"Ah, okay. Those are the only two things that are important, the rest is pretty much padding."

"Bella," Em placed his hands on my shoulders. "Whoever you end up with will be a remarkable person, especially if she or he can deal with your crap." He grinned at me. "Come on, my wedding's about to start."

"Brilliant, Rose's finally going to make an honest man out of you. I'll see you in a minute." Em grinned at me before jogging down the aisle. I walked outside and the sight of Rose and her father coming out the car greeted me. I smiled and walked down the steps.

"You've never looked more beautiful Rose, and I've seen you naked. Hello Mr. Hale." The first thing he's ever heard out of my mouth is I've seen his daughter naked. If it was Mrs stuck up bitch who heard it her head would probably explode. My eyes slid passed Rose to the car she arrived in. "Oh my god, is that a Hudson?" I practically humped the car as I ran my fingertips across the hood. It was a beautiful hunter green 1936 Hudson, otherwise known as Godfather car to me.

"Do you want me to leave you alone so you can try and make my car pregnant?" Rose's voice tore me from my haze.

"Sorry. I don't know shit about cars but this is a beauty." Another car pulled up behind Rose's car – less extravagant – and the right side door opened. Some pretty redhead, not as pretty as Rose of course cause that's how it works right? No one should be more beautiful than the bride. I think her name was Daisy or Lilac or Rain, some hippy name anyway. Another women stepped out the car, Latino I think, very va va voom in the Megan Fox way; sexy but looks very unapproachable and probably a giant bitch. Seriously how come I haven't met these people til today? Then to round it off, Alice stepped out; two bridesmaids and the head bridesmaid to match the ushers and me, god forbid if they mismatch. I stepped around Rose, minding the train and helped Alice out. "You're beautiful."

"Thank you." She released my hand and smoothed her dress down. I didn't know if she was thanking me for the compliment or for helping her out, maybe both, maybe I was that lucky today. "And you look... what's wrong with your sleeves?"

I looked down myself and saw that both the sleeves of my shirt where sticking out of the ends of my jacket. I sighed. "They won't cooperate with me, I was thinking of just cutting them off and be done with it." I held out my arm which she took and walked back into the church, the rest already inside.

"It's not difficult." She smiled at me as she removed her hand from my arm, then began rolling them up, tucking the end over the bottom of my jacket sleeves. "There, perfect. Though... can I?" She gestured to my hair and I bowed my head slightly so she could reach it all. "You could have done something with your hair, even a ponytail." Alice gave me a sort of side parting so most of my hair fell over my left shoulder. "I've never noticed that scar before." She lightly touched the small scar I had on my right temple. It was so light now that you wouldn't notice it unless you knew it was there. I gained that lovely little reminder while with... can you guess? I'll give you a hint, female and first girlfriend? Yup that's right; Kate. Ten points to you.

"Bella, Alice, glad I got you before the wedding starts." Rose appeared out of nowhere. She really has to stop doing that. "Peter and Charlotte haven't showed up and they both were suppose to do a reading. Can you both do it, please?" She handed me a folded note.

"What the hell, is Peter dead or something? I've barely seen him except for the Stag night." I took the piece of paper from her hand and unfolded it, quickly skimping through it.

"Unless he'd died in the last 12 hours, I'm sure he's still breathing."

"Okay, I'll check in on him after everything's done today, make sure dogs aren't eating his dead body lying on the floor of his bathroom." Both Alice and Rose looked at me oddly. "What? Bad imagining? Oh forget it. Whose suppose to read what?" I handed the paper back to Rose.

"It is highlighted, how more clear am I suppose to make it?" She pushed it back into my hands.

"Yes, I got that, but what colour am I, yellow or blue?"

"Blue, now can we get on with it? I want to get married sometime today." She huffed.

I smiled and leaned forward, kissing her on the cheek. "Emmett is either a very brave man or an insanely stupid boy to be married to your craziness and bossiness." I heard the music start up and the other guys found their bridesmaids, getting into position. First Mikey and hippy name, then Jasper and Latino Megan Fox and then me and Alice. I offered my arm to her again, which she took with a smile and we walked down the aisle. Hmm, well if this didn't freak me out a tiny bit. I leaned down to Alice's ear. "Well, well, well, never thought I'd take you down the aisle. Maybe we should get hitched?" Alice's head whipped round to me, stumbling slightly, with wide eyes. I barked out a laugh. "I'm kidding. Never knew the thought of marrying me would be so horrific." Before she could come over her shock and say something, we came to the end of the aisle and gently removed her hand from my arm. I inclined my head slightly to her and smirked before sitting next to Jasper in the front row, who shot me a sidewards glance. I subtly shook my head, telling him not to bother going into it.

The music faded out and then the violins started up and everyone stood up. Twenty seconds later, which I think was a little bit more delayed that it should have been, Rose stepped onto the aisle with father dearest at her side. Let's see if the boring fashion bullshit Jasper's tried to drum into my head all these years takes effect. From what I could see, Rose was wearing a... some designer's dress, ivory, strapless and had quite a small trail. Her hair was piled on top of her head, a few strands strategically left to fall down, while her make-up was of dark eyelashes and blood red lipstick that contrasted with her blonde hair and white dress. Mr. Hale handed Rose to Em – it's a short aisle – then took his seat next to Mrs. stuck up bitch, after the reverend asked who gives this woman. The reverend introduced himself – Clover – which I thought was a bit weird since I've never heard one of them do that, then told us why we're here, as if we were all stupid not to understand.

"Now for this part of the ceremony I'd like to call forward your friends here who have some words they'd like to share with you. Toby?"

Toby stood up from the fourth row on Em's side, I think he was on that side because of his relation with his sister who was association with me and I was Em's best man, wearing a blue suit with the usual white shirt and a burgundy tie already undone. He smiled at the both of them before pulling out a slightly crumpled piece of fold paper.

"Maybe, we are suppose to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. Maybe, it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives. Maybe, the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Maybe, the best kind of love is the kind you can sit on a sofa together and never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had. Maybe, you shouldn't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Maybe, you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trails to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy. Maybe... maybe love is not about finding the perfect person, it's about learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." I heard him clear his throat and smile again at the couple before sitting back down.

"That was lovely, Toby. Russell, may you read yours now?"

Since Russell wasn't an usher, Em thought it was fair to make it up to him by letting him read a little poem or whatever he was going to read. He stood up, his normally untidy chestnut hair brushed back, holding a small piece of paper that looked like he tore from a notepad.

"I'm very happy for you two and Rosalie, Emmett thought this was a good poem so be angry at him." He looked slightly uncomfortable in his jacket, obviously hired since I've never ever seen him in a suit... don't think he's even been near one since he got that one. "Beyond watching eyes with sweet and tender kisses, our souls reached out to each other, in breathless wonder. And when I awoke, from a vast and smiling peace, I found you bathed in morning light, quietly studying all the messages on my phone."

I burst out laughing and could only stop when I bit down on my knuckles. I apologized and calmed myself down. Russell was grinning at me as he sat down.

"That was... lovely, Russell. Our last reading for the day is by Bella and Alice."

I stood up, pulling down my jacket, trying to get comfortable in it, and took out the page from my inner pocket. Yea, it's that posh. I passed the paper to Alice, when she stood next to me, for her to read the first line.

"When I'm feeling like there's no love coming to me," She passed it back to me.

"And I have no love to give." I held it out in front of us since the passing back and forth was going to look stupid.

"When I'm feeling separated from the world," She recited.

"And cut off from myself." I replied.

"When I'm feeling annoyed by every little thing,"

"Because I'm not getting what I want." What the fuck?

"I'll remember there is an infinite amount of love available to me."

"And I'll see it in you."

"I'll remember that I am complete within myself,"

"So I'll never have to go to you to complete me."

"And most of all, I'll remember that everything I really need I already have, and whatever I don't have will come to me when I'm ready to receive it." We both said the last sentence together. There was silence that bounced off the church's walls after the last word left our mouths. I roughly pushed the paper back into my pocket and sat back down beside Jasper. He looked at me then patted me on the knee, leaning in so no one else could hear, whispering that everything was going to be fine.

"Yes, well..." Clover looked quite awkward. "Thank you for that. This part of the ceremony will consists of the couple reading vows which they have written themselves. Rosalie, may you read yours first?"

When she started she didn't take out a piece of paper like everyone else, which isn't really surprising since she's got a memory like... I don't know, two elephants. "I can never express the gratitude I have for you for believing in me. When I experienced self doubt you were there to help me push through and reach my goal. I hope whenever you will or have experienced doubt I was there to help you through it and encouraged you to carry on. People thought we wouldn't last, that we were too different to have anything in common. I'm glad we proved them wrong. Emmett, thank you. Thank you for the happiness you've given me since the day we met."

Clover only smiled at her. "Emmett, your turn."

Em, completely different to Rose's way, checked in his pockets, pulling out what looked like a bottle cap, a Q tip and... was that an army guy figurine?

"Here it is!" He held a very crumpled looking and slightly torn around the edges scrap paper in the air, looking proud of himself. "Right, where am I... Rose, I love you. I don't have fancy poetic words to offer you or wealth beyond your wildest dreams, but what I can offer you is a long and happy life with me, filled with as many children as you want. It might not be a lot to most people but as long as I share all those experiences with you, it'll be more than I could ever ask for and I'd surely be the most luckiest and richest man in the world." He pocketed his speech and grinned at Rose.

"May the bearer of the rings bring them forth?" Every eye in the church turned to me and Alice. I felt a flash of panic go through me as I searched blindly through my pockets. Alice gave Rose's ring to Clover while I was still looking. I stood up and found the rings in my back pocket. I smiled in relief and handed it to Clover who gave it to Em. "Emmett, place this ring on Rosalie's fourth finger of her left hand and repeat after me. With this ring I thee wed,"

"With this ring I thee wed," He was positively beaming now.

"And with it I bestow all of the treasures of my mind, heart and hands." Em repeated all and slid the ring on Rose's finger. Clover gave Rose the other ring and she repeated what he said. "With the power invested in me and the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife." He didn't have to say the words, cause them two were tongue banging like they were going for gold medal.

"Jesus. I bet that cabin in Tennessee is going to be destroyed when they're through with it." I whispered into Jasper's ear. He smiled in agreement. The entire church stood and applauded as now Mr. and Mrs. McCarthy walked back down the aisle to their Godfather car to drive to the reception.

**XxX**

**I'm not the best at writing sappy, sentimental stuff... love, to be honest. I'm just wondering, can anyone name the three readings? Toby's, Russell's, and Bella and Alice's? And no Google cheating.**

**Come on people, we're 6 reviews shy of 100. How about, 100th reviewer can suggest a scene or just a line of dialogue and I'll try with all my might to find a place and put it in?**

**Oh, and as a little something extra: www. stumbleupon su/video/3aBtx5**


	20. Chapter 20

**I've got a computer question for all you lovelies. I have a laptop, it's old as hell but works brilliantly... kinda. I recently got a new battery cause it couldn't hold a charge for more than a minute, and a new charger cause a rabbit chewed through it, but it still doesn't charge. At all. It's officially a tiny desktop. What the hell is wrong with it? By the way, I'm not getting rid of this laptop until it refuses to start one morning, so no one suggest a new laptop.**

**I couldn't remember Jasper's boyfriend, couldn't remember if it was Embry or Quil or someone else so if it's a different name from the other chapters, someone tell me.**

**XxX**

"Shouldn't they be here by now? We left after them and still beat them here." Jasper stood in front of the head table, a glass of champagne in his hand and a different set of clothes. He changed out of his suit into a more casual purple jacket and blue trousers, got rid of his tap dancing shoes and replaced them with something that looked like a cross between a sneaker and a loafer.

"You know, I was thinking about getting you a sash that said 'I am gay' but that suit says it all." Jasper didn't look amused. "They probably asked the driver to stop so they can fuck in the backseat." I sat at one of the small tables, a bottle of Corona clasped between my hands as I leaned my forearms on my knees.

"_Or_," He stretched out. "They're most likely stuck in traffic."

"If you knew the answer, why did you ask me?" I straightened up and unbuttoned my jacket. I didn't bother changing clothes like Jasper cause... to be honest, I thought only the bride changed clothes for the reception.

"To keep myself from talking to you about the poem you and Alice read at the wedding."

"I didn't plan it; blame your brother for not showing up. Do you know where he is?"

"No; I left three voice mails on his phone but I haven't heard a reply." He looked worried.

"You don't think he's dead do you?"

"No..." He trailed off. "No, of course not. He knows how to take care of himself. He most likely lost his phone and forgot about the reading."

"Hopefully." Then Jasper's phone rang and he ran off, grinning like a moron, which could only mean that Embry was ringing. Them two were so sweet it was sickening. I got up from the chair and did the rounds – that's what best men are suppose to do right? - saying hello to stuck up bitch and Mr Hale, one of the bridesmaids, can't remember which one, Russell and a handful of other people who I haven't met before. I sat back down in my old seat and tipped back my beer.

"Look whose the social butterfly tonight." I nearly jumped out of my skin and spill my beer over myself. Alice came up from behind me and took the chair next to me. I shrugged and hunched over.

"It's the best man's job to be all friendly, right? Plus, it's easier to be friendly with people you don't know who the fuck they are."

"You know people here."

"You, the ushers and Rose and Em don't count. Knowing eight out of two hundred people isn't a good ratio."

"Maybe its a sign to broaden your circle of friends." She crossed her legs, causing the blue hem to raise a few inches up her thigh.

"I'm happy with the people I have. Besides, I don't think these people would like me very much." Jasper came back to the table.

"I just saw their car pull up, you need to be on stage and announce their arrival."

"Someone quick, roll out the red carpet and play the royal trumpets; the queen of the world is coming."

"Don't let Rose hear you say that," Alice warned. I smiled and jumped up on stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the guests of honour are arriving..." The doors to the penthouse still hadn't opened. "They're taking their sweet time with it. There we go," Em had taken off his suit and tie and rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, and Rose was wearing this white, knee length, off the shoulder thing that looked incredible. "Damn, will you look at that. I shoulda tried something before all this." Rose glared at me from across the room. I smiled sheepishly. "That answers if the microphone is working. Ladies and gentlemen, guys and gays, Mr and Mrs. McCarthy!" Everyone clapped, and I jumped off the stage – feeling something in my knee click – and joined the line to congratulate them.

"Why couldn't Jasper do the introduction?" Rose asked as I hugged Em. I shrugged.

"Cause you don't get my amazing charm." I grinned and held out my arms. "Come on, you know you wanna." She wrapped her arms around me and dug her nails into my shoulder a little too hard. "Ow, fuck, okay, got it."

"If you think I haven't noticed you wearing jeans, you are sorely mistaken, and don't think I've forgiven you for what you've done to Alice." She whispered in my ear, squeezing hard once more before joining Em, Alice, and Mr and stuck up bitch Hale.

A couple minutes later, everyone sat at their tables, and the speeches started. I swallowed heavily and went back up on stage. "Hey," I tilted my flute of champagne in greeting. "This is the moment I've been dreading. This and dancing with the maid of honour." I glanced at Alice and saw she didn't look impressed. "Oh, wipe that look off your face, Alice. Before you start worrying, I am the best man not some crazy guy whose wandered on stage." I ran a hand through my hair and took a swig of champagne. "I should start talking about the couple, it's why we're here, that and this amazing alcohol." No one looked that amused and Rose looked ready to kill me. I cleared my throat.

"I haven't known these two for long compared to some people in this room, how I bagged the best man role I'll never know. I met Rose the first week in high school and I admit, I thought she was the prom queen, queen bee of the school, ice cold bitch overall, but when I got to know her I found out she was, yes a bitch, but a fun bitch." I smiled despite trying to hold it in. I glanced around the room and noticed bitch Hale's face look like she ate a lemon, Jasper looking at me through his fingers, and Alice was looking at me, her hand wrapped around Tanya's. "Rose went to... you know what, we know where Rose and Emmett went to college and high school, we know their life histories. Look, their relationship isn't a fairytale, happily ever after one, it's a real one. They fight, they fall out, Rose even slept on my couch because they broke up for a short time. The thing is they didn't let that stop them, they didn't let the small things ruin something so great..." I frowned and looked down at my glass. "They didn't let their stupidity or mistakes destroy the best thing that's ever happened to them. I think that's something we all should take into account."

I looked up at Em and Rose sitting at the big round table that seated them and their families, and smiled. "Despite what I say and what I do, I love you guys. Though Rose, I could easily stop loving you." I raised my glass and drank the last drops. "To the happy couple, I know their life together is going to be incredible." As everyone toasted, I jumped off stage and sat next to Jasper, the space next to me – Peter's chair – empty.

"That was very good," Jasper complimented, refilling my glass halfway. "How much of it was off the top of your head?"

"All of it."

"It was good for something you made up in twelve seconds." Alice said, letting go of Tanya's hand to take a sip from her champagne. I didn't notice the shot of joy that went through me at the motion.

"I'd say it was more nine seconds," The rest of the speeches came; Alice, Mrs and Mr Hale, only Mr McCarthy since Mrs looked like she had a few too many. It was at the end of Mr Hale's short speech when Peter crept into the room, taking the seat next to me and giving a short nod to everyone at the table. He looked like a bartender from the wild west with the black waistcoat over the white shirt and black suit pants, and the close trimmed sideburns weren't helping the image.

"Where have you been? The wedding started hours ago." Jasper whispered in Peter's ear, leaning across me.

"Not now," Was all he said, keeping his eyes on the stage.

The food came out after everyone had finished toasting. For starters, Crab fish cakes with a tartar sauce, venison steak with a red wine gravy and roast potatoes and carrots for main, and for dessert, a rich chocolate torte with a raspberry sauce. It was fucking beautiful and I wanted to roll around in it. When everyone digested the food, the couple cut the cake, had their first dance – song 'Book of Love' – and the party was in full swing.

"What's with the face? This is a happy occasion." I looked up and saw Alice standing behind my shoulder. I leaned my chair back against the table, having turned it around to watch the drunks dance awhile ago, and smiled.

"Yea, it is a happy occasion. I'm sure even happier if you have someone to share it with." I averted my eyes from Alice and looked at the band playing, taking a sip from my flute. I noticed Peter and Jasper were talking close to the stage, Jasper's back to me and his arms flying around his head. Then Peter walked passed the head table to the room behind it, Jasper on his heels. I frowned. "What the hell was that?" I pushed the chair forward to all four legs and followed them outside to the balcony.

"This is why I didn't want to tell you today." Peter had his arms over his chest and looked tired.

"But what about the holidays? How long will you be gone?"

"Six months, but it could be longer. I'm sorry, Jazz."

"What's going on?" I asked, stepping closer to them.

"I didn't want anyone else finding out," Peter sighed. "I'll tell you tomorrow."

"Tell them now. If you don't, I will." I still couldn't see Jasper's face but I've never heard him sound like this.

"Jasper-"

"He's going back on tour; he's going back to Iraq." I saw his shoulders rise then fall shakily.

"What the fuck, Peter?"

"I didn't ask for this. It's where I've been today. Please don't tell Rosalie or Emmett, I don't want to dampen their happy day." Peter patted Jasper on the shoulder and went back inside. I wrapped my arms around Jasper's stomach from behind and squeezed.

"You wanna cuddle?" He nodded, not speaking. "You wanna kiss?" He nodded again. "You wanna cry?"

"A tiny bit." He turned around and hugged me back, dropping his head on my shoulder.

"I want to say I know how you feel but I don't. This is his job, Jasper, it's a bastard one but it's his."

"It sucks."

"Yea, it does suck." I kissed his temple and stroked the back of his head. "Now, don't cry or your mascara will run."

"You had to make a joke?"

"Yup, or the niceness turns to poison and kills me." His shoulders shook as he chuckled. "Come on, homo, let's get drunk and make morons of ourselves on the dance floor." He lifted his head, his eyes bright with unshed tears, and allowed me to lead him back to the reception. "I agree with Peter. This might sound selfish but I think it's a good idea to not tell Rose or Em about this, not today."

"I agree, but..." He sighed. "I can't believe he won't be here for Christmas, it's so close." He lowered into my chair and finished the champagne I passed him. I heard him sniff. I crossed my arms over his stomach and shoulders and laid my cheek on his head. "Why are you being so nice?"

"I do have a heart, Jasper. Yes, I only bring it out on special occasions but I've got one. Think it might be second hand though." I kissed his head and straightened up. "You know your roots are showing?"

"Shut up and comfort me."

I pulled a chair next to his and took a bottle and a glass from the table, filling both glasses up. "He might not even be in combat. They ship them over to train the police now."

"It doesn't stop them from getting shot, patrols, turncoats, friendly fire, not even counting IED's." He counted off, his voice becoming more high pitched.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm the fuck down before I slap you. Why are you acting so hysterical? Your only brother, your only sibling, going off to war, I understand that but this is his third tour. Why are you taking this so hard?"

"I want him to be done with the army. I know it sounds incredibly selfish of me, and I hate myself for saying it but I fear for him every time he leaves."

"Put it to the back of your mind. It sounds impossible but try. He's a good soldier, he can take care of himself and when he can't, he has friends and allies to protect him." I took his hand and squeezed. "Don't lose sleep over this."

"I can't promise you."

"I'm going to have a smoke. Talk to Em, he'll cheer you up with his bullshit." I pulled my jacket off the back of Jasper's chair and kissed his head. "I love you, homo."

"I love you too, for some bizarre reason." I left him there and pulled on my jacket and pulled out my packet from the pocket. I inhaled and sat on a bench. I was a quarter down when the door opened, music filtering through then cut off when the door closed.

"What's wrong with Jasper?" Alice asked, sitting down next to me.

"I'm not supposed to tell."

"Oh, come on, I told you about the proposal; you owe me."

"This isn't as joyous. Please don't tell anyone, I mean anyone. I kept silence about your secret, I want the same trust." Wrong word, wrong fucking word to use with her. "Same courtesy."

"I can keep secrets. And will you ever stop smoking?"

"I know you can, and no." I saw Alice shiver and wrap her arms around herself. "Here," I pulled off my jacket and covered her shoulders. "Crazy bitch. It's December, it's cold as fuck and I'm positive it's gonna snow tomorrow."

She smiled, and pushed her hands through the sleeves and buttoned up the jacket. "I have missed you, Bella."

"How so? I thought you'd still want to bury my face in the pavement."

"At times I do. I've missed your blunt, deadpan charm, and your sarcastic humour. Even your swearing is a part of your charm."

"I have charm?" I asked surprised. I finished my cigarette and put the stub back in the packet. "I always thought it was a social complex."

"That as well." Alice sighed and her breath looked like smoke in the cold air. "I don't know if it's the wedding or the drinks, or enough time has passed but I forgive you, completely."

"I feel like there's a catch." I was weary.

"Don't be a bitch to Tanya." I groaned and slumped against the railing. "No jokes, no green card, Russian whore, Russian mail order bride, and no STD comments."

"Oh god, why don't you just rip out my heart?" She just looked at me. I sighed. "Fine, I won't talk to her. Can I think of the comments?"

"Bella."

"Okay, okay, no thinking of her either." I bumped my shoulder against hers. "Thanks," I smiled.

"You're welcome. Don't mess it up."

"I'll try." I stood up and offered my hand. "Come on, the party's still going on."

"No you don't, you still haven't told me what's wrong with Jasper."

"Ah shit, I thought I'd distracted you enough." I sat back down and put my cigarettes on my knee. "Peter's being shipped off to the war zone again, and of course, Jasper's not taking it so well."

"Oh. Oh, poor Jasper. When's Pete leaving?"

"I don't know, he hasn't told anyone the details. All I know is that he won't be here for Christmas."

"What? Can't he ask his superior for an extended leave?"

"I don't think it works like that but I'm sure Peter would've tried it. Look, I'm not that great with the emotional, touchy feely, talking crap, so could you keep Jasper company?" She nodded, standing. "Thanks. I'll buy you a good Christmas present in return."

"Okay, but nothing from Chinatown again." She held the door open for me.

"What was wrong with the Zodiac sign?" I sat down at our table and poured a fresh glass. I glanced behind me and saw Em doing a very piss poor robot. Good luck, Rose.

"It was a sheep statue." She took the bottle from my hand and poured herself a glass.

"It was a mini statue, more of a paper weight. Maybe you didn't like it cause the sheep sucks."

"Oh, and the horse is so great?"

"Hell yea. We're quick witted, and hot headed, hot blooded," I raised my eyebrows. "We're contradicting bastards, and have fuck loads of sex appeal." I grinned.

"Well us sheep are, charming and elegant, we're caring and romantic, and very creative."

"Good compatibility; one calms the other while one heats the other up." I smiled and stared at Alice. I never noticed she had a small beauty spot thing by her eye. Tanya came behind Alice and put a perfect fucking manicured hand on her shoulder. I dropped my eyes to my drink. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom for a minute." I walked through the dance floor, Em grabbing my hand and spinning me, and pushed the bathroom door open. I sighed and supported myself on a sink.

"That was a lovely speech you gave." A smoky voice teased behind me. All the muscles in my body tensed, and I slowly moved my eyes to the mirror. I saw smirking red lips and green feline like eyes.

Oh god, no.

**XxX**

**Has anyone seen those trailers about The Croons? Well, imagine that owl going 'dun dun dun!'**

**I think we all know who that was but try to look surprised in the next chapter.**

**We've passed 100 reviews! *Party poppers, top hats and lots of champagne* No one made a suggestion so there's a free suggesting spot. Hurry while stocks last! I... yea, I think I had too much sugar.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Ladies and gentlemen, I finally know what to do with my life, career wise, with the rest I haven't got a fucking clue. If this writing stint doesn't fly, which is 80% likely, I'll open a burlesque house, first confusing it with a brothel and spending two hours researching laws and loopholes, and if that doesn't work out I'll be a runner on some series, preferably something with nakedness and or blood, but if I either fuck up or can't get in I'll just have to spend the rest of my life at the stables.**

**Ooh, we're getting closer to the end! You might think that I'm coming along with the sequel, on my fifth or sixth chapter, but no cause it's me. I've just started chapter two and already I'm a bit 'uhhh... what now?' I need a bit of help actually. I'm trying to think of a body type, the word is on the tip of my tongue but I just can't think what the fuck it is. It's something akin to burly but that's not the word. A great reference is Jorah Mormont, or Iain Glen to others. It's been driving me insane for about two days now, so please someone give me the word.  
**

**XxX**

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I span around and spat out.

"That's no way to greet a long lost friend." Kate tilted her head and took a step towards me. She looked like she hadn't aged a day. The same pale blonde hair hung passed her tits, the ends curled, and a side fringe covering one of her dark eyebrows. Her lithe body wrapped up in a little black dress, and black heels made her a couple inches taller than me.

"Fuck long lost friend. What are you doing here?"

"I'm someone's plus one." Her eyes ran down me then back up, her lips curling in a leer. "You've grown up well. Still on cigarettes?"

"None of your goddamn business."

"I'll take that as a yes. Smoking anything... extra?" She sat down on the built in bench and crossed her long legs. I kept my eyes on her like she was carrying a gun.

"No." I gritted out.

"I suppose that means you're not a friend of the White Powder anymore. Shame. I remember us having fun times with them." She picked off a piece of lint from her dress and glanced at me. "How has life treated you, моя игрушка?" She smiled pleasantly.

"I'm not letting you play around with me. I am not ruining Rose and Emmett's special day."

"How very considerate of you; not like you at all."

"What do you want?"

"What makes you think I want anything from you? All I want to know is how you are, I haven't seen you in... how many years, five?"

"Too fucking short if you ask me."

"You always did have an enjoyment for cursing. How are your relationships, been stringing a fool along? What was that girl's name in high school... Janice?"

"Alice."

"Ah yes, Alice Brandon. My sister has been singing her praises since she met her."

"Sister... Tanya?" I felt the sink's edges cut into my palms as I tightened my grip. "Oh my god, you-" The bathroom door opened and a heel clicked on the tiled floor. "Get out." I barked without taking my eyes off Kate. The door clicked shut. "You planned all this. You made Tanya go out with Alice to get to me."

Kate laughed. "How paranoid and self centred of you. You give me far too much credit. But could you imagine my delight when I saw who my little sister's new girlfriend was?" She stood up and walked over to me. She ran her nails up one of my tense arms.

I grabbed her hand, feeling a bit of blood rub off, and pushed it back. "Don't fucking touch me."

"Ooh, you've become feistier over the years."

"Go, before I end up killing you."

"Why would I want to leave, we're having so much fun," She rubbed my blood into her skin and sat back down on the bench. "Tell me, do your friends know about our relationship, really know about it? Do they know you were a naïve, little druggie who opened her legs for me whenever I pleased?"

I kept silent, clenching my jaw and feeling the muscle in my neck twitching.

"No? Interesting." She stood up and straightened her dress. "I should return to the reception and spread the joy. It has been lovely meeting you again, моя игрушка. Call me if you ever want to relive old times." She smiled and slipped a card in my front pocket, heading for the door. She gave me a wink before the door closed. I closed my eyes and breathed through my nose as far as I could. It took everything in me not to punch a wall or the mirror.

I threw open the door and made a bee line to Tanya.

"Hey, Russian." I grabbed her shoulder and turned her around.

"Bella!" Alice stood up and tried to push me away. I ignored her.

"You tell your bitch of a sister to stay away from me. You know what, you fuck off with her, I don't want to see another member of your family in my eyesight ever again. And you," I let go of Tanya and turned to Alice who, by the way, looked ready to kill me. "Stay away from her," I pointed to the Russian.

"Excuse me?" She puffed up to her full height, putting her hands on her hips. "I don't know who you think you are but no one has told me who I can and cannot date since I was 16. Did outside have any effect on you, did any of it sink into that thick skull? You promised!" She hit my shoulder on the last one.

"You don't know this family-"

"And you do?"

"Intimately."

"Ugh, I could kill you!" She walked away, dragging Tanya with her.

I heard a chuckle behind me. "I can still get under your skin so easily." I clenched my hands and turned around, fist aimed at Kate's face. She took a step back smiling, easily missing the hit. "And you're still very predictable." She walked away laughing.

"Bella, did I see you try to hit that woman?!" Jasper appeared at my side, sounding alarmed. I nodded, trying to find the blonde she devil in the crowd. "Why... I don't even know how to react. Why would you want to hit that wo- wait a minute. She looked familiar."

"Kate Sokolov."

"Ooh... Why did you try to punch her though?"

"I have my reasons, and it'd be best if you didn't question them." I took out my cigarettes from the jacket that hung on the back of the chair and stormed outside. I groaned slumping on the bench and covered my face with my hands, making sure the cigarette poked through between them. Why, fucking why, has that bitch strutted back into my life? I leaned back against the railing and glared at the sky.

"You having fun fucking with me up there?" I sighed and spent most of the time outside smoking my body weight and slowly freezing my ass off. Jasper came out awhile later, probably an hour later, and sat next to me.

"Em and Rosalie are plannin' to leave soon, think you'll come in to see them off?" Jasper gave me my jacket.

"Sure, even though I can see them from where I'm sitting." I dropped my cigarette and stomped on it then followed him inside. I kept away from Kate, Tanya, and Alice, mostly staying around Jasper or Peter. The happy couple left ten minutes later. The party was winding down so I took three bottles of unopened champagne and headed home with Jasper, Peter, Toby, Alice, and Tanya all wedged in Em's car. Em told me to keep the car keys and take the apartment keys.

I dropped off Tanya in Chelsea, then Toby in The Village, Peter getting off there as well, muttering about needing to talk to someone, then drove me, Jasper, and Alice to Hudson Square. I gave Jasper the house keys and told him I'd come back later. He gave me a look but kept quiet and got out.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Alice leaned over.

"I've driving you home and then you're going to invite me in."

"Excuse me?"

"We just got back on good terms and I'm not letting that go so easy."

"You burned that bridge after you manhandled my girlfriend and told me what to do." My hands tightened around the steering wheel.

"Yes, and I'm sorry 'bout that but... I saw someone and I didn't react the best." I turned at the end of the street and braked at the lights. "What's your address?"

"33 King Street."

"Oh yea. How do you like my apartment?" I turned in my seat.

She shrugged. "Its a good apartment." She looked out the window and ignored me the rest of the drive. I turned left on King Street and parked a couple cars away from the apartment. I walked her to the door and waited for her to open it. "You seriously think I'm letting you in?"

"Yea and if you don't, I'm staying on this step all night."

"I'm not letting you-"

"Okay," I sat down on the step, leaning my back against the brick railing.

"Bella, go home. You're not staying on the stairs."

"You know how stubborn I am, Alice, I'll stay on this step til the sun rises." I pulled out my last cigarette. I got two puffs in before Alice yanked it out of my mouth and broke it in half. "That was my last cigarette."

"Good. I'm sick of seeing you killing yourself." She sighed and opened the door. "You're allowed in, but only for half an hour."

"Thanks," I squeezed her hip as I passed and walked up the stairs. Why doesn't this fucking apartment block have an elevator?

"I'll be back in a minute." Alice closed her bedroom door and I laid across the couch waiting for her. She came out barefooted, her face washed of all make up and a pair of boy shorts poking out from under a Greenwich village sweatshirt. "Feet off the couch." I sat up and turned around as she went behind me to the kitchen, and I heard a kettle hiss. "You have under thirty minutes; use it wisely."

"I'm sorry I manhandled Tanya but..." I hesitated. Tell her the truth or tell her I'm insane or bipolar? She'd probably believe the bipolarity insanity. "I'm bipolar."

"What?" She turned around with the classic 'what the hell' look.

"I'm insane."

"You're wasting your time, Bella." She turned around and poured herself a cup of coffee.

I got up and sat at the small kitchen table. "What happened to your sense of humour?"

"I'm not in the laughing mood." She sat opposite me.

"You're telling me," I sighed and slouched deeper into my chair. "Okay, okay. Do you remember Kate Sokolov, my first girlfriend, the college student?"

"This better not be a boast of all your conquests, but yes, I do."

"Kate was at the wedding, and she got me... tense."

"That doesn't excuse your behaviour towards Tanya."

"Apparently Tanya and Kate are sisters. Betcha didn't know that about your little girlfriend." She glared at me. "Look, if Tanya is even an ounce like Kate, I don't want you anywhere fucking near her. Who do you think got me smoking, drinking?"

"That's the only reason I should stop seeing Tanya? Because her sister started your habits, which you could've stopped on your own."

"I know but Kate's..." Evil, vicious, taunting. "A bitch. Please believe me this one time, and stay away from Tanya. Break up with her, say you want a break, you prefer men now, just please don't let her fuck you up like her sister did me."

"No. You've given me no real reason apart from two bad habits."

"I can't give you the real reason! I wish I could but I've spent the last five years blocking out that part of my life; I'm not opening that door just yet." I laid my forehead on the table and closed my eyes.

"I knew you during those five years and three years before that, what happened?"

"Remember those two weeks I went to Colorado to visit Renee? They connect with the real reason."

"Did you and Kate do something that made you wanted by police?"

"No, I wish though. Those two weeks were..." I sighed and raised my head. "Do you have anything stronger than coffee to drink?"

"I might have a beer in the fridge." I got up and searched the fridge, finding a bottle in the back. We spent the next five minutes in silence, me staring at my bottle and Alice staring and waiting for me to talk.

"What do you see in me?" I think that was the million dollar question. I tapped my thumbs on the neck of the bottle, waiting. "Cause I see this... flawed as fuck, lowlife who will probably never achieve anything great, not to mention being a drunk." I saw her eyebrows raise in surprise. "What, you thought I didn't realize or notice? I know I've got a problem, I'm just used to it."

"I see this woman who, yes has flaws, but is also loyal to the people she cares about, stands for the things she believes in, has humour and has her moments of using logic and reason."

"Are you sure we're talking about the same person? I'm talking about me, who the crap are you describing?"

Alice smiled and took her mug to the sink. "Yes, we're talking about the same person. I admit you haven't been all these things lately but you do have these traits. And the occasional rounds of honesty."

"Occasional honesty, huh? Let's turn that into an uncommon." I tapped my thumbs against the bottle's neck, nervous taking over. Bastard, traitor emotions. "Okay," I got up and did a walk around the living room, ending by the window. Alice sat in the green armchair and looked at me. "The... How's ugly naked guy doing?"

"He's lost weight. He's surprisingly cute." I nodded and swallowed.

"Okay... The reason I reacted so bad to Kate, and almost hitting her," Alice opened her mouth but I made some weird noise and cut her off. "And if you interrupt once, I'll lose my nerve and not tell you and leave." I sat down on the built in bench and leaned my head back on the cold window.

"The reason I reacted badly to Kate was cause when I was with her I had a run in with drugs." Silence. I didn't look Alice's way, I didn't want to see her face. Her opinion of me was only slightly rising. With this, it was probably back down to the ground, hell, kicked down to the underworld and sitting in Satan's inbox on his desk. "She was my first girlfriend; a college student. She was new, exciting, experienced, and I let that drag me in and blind side me. It's no excuse, I know. I remember when it started, roughly. It was a frat house party thing, and booze was there, one keg stand in each room, and someone was passing a joint around. I didn't think, I just did it. I mean, it's weed, what's the worst that could happen? The coke came in a bit later, at a random person's house party, someone was doing lines on the edge of the bath, Kate was there and she offered and I took.

"I'm just glad that it didn't get so bad that I was whoring myself or selling my stuff to pay for it. I noticed it was going to get to that point when I woke up one day and saw myself in the mirror. It sounds cliché and film like, I know. I was pale as hell, paler than this, I looked like I hadn't slept in weeks, I just looked sick overall. I went down to Renee's a week later and more or less locked myself in my bedroom for two weeks to detox myself. Thank god there was a flu going around, it didn't look so weird." I sighed and almost felt a weight slip off; I've been holding onto that bastard for five years. "I know it sounds like I'm trying to make it sound worst than it is, drugs aren't a big issue anymore, it's not like I killed someone, but I hate that I gave in. It's like... like I fell at the first hurdle in life."

I glanced at my watch and stood up. "My half an hour is up; I should get going." I walked passed the couch, keeping my eyes away from Alice. I passed the table when I felt a body hit my back and arms wrap around my stomach. "Of all the reactions, I didn't expect this. Unless you're trying to choke me and just can't reach my neck."

"How can you make a joke now?"

"I wouldn't call it a joke, more a fact." She squeezed my stomach painfully. "Guess I can never get a short comment passed you. Look, as much as I'm enjoying this, I should go so you can decide if I'm lying."

"Bella, even you wouldn't make up drugs as an excuse." Alice turned me around and led me to the couch. "I'll extend your time to an hour. How did we not know?" She sat down on the couch while I sat on the edge of the coffee table. I shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess I was better at hiding stuff than I realized. Could you not tell Jasper this? You're the first person who knows anything about all this."

"Of course. Why didn't you tell us? We could've helped you, we would've helped you."

I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I didn't want you to see me weak. Besides, I think I did alright on my own; kicked it, well replaced the habit with smoking, and only got a bitch of an ex and short term memory as the consequences." I smiled and slouched more. Does past drug use fuck up your posture? "Bet this makes you love me less."

"No, I still love you for some absurd reason." She glanced at me before lowering her eyes to my knees. "Do you find it odd that this fact is known but nothing is being made of it?"

"What are we suppose to do? You're in a relationship and even if you were single, would you want to be with someone who didn't love you? We like each other, there's obviously sexual attraction, so the formula is there for me to love you. It's just..." I stopped, not sure how to end the sentence.

"You don't feel the same," Alice nodded and crossed her legs Indian style. "I understand."

"Maybe soon though, you never know." I smiled.

"Maybe, but know that I won't finish my relationship with Tanya because you clicked your fingers."

"I know; you have too much respect for that. I've said what I wanted to say, I should really go." I stood up and kissed Alice's head. "Goodnight, Ali cat."

I drove to Rose and Em's apartment, where me and Jasper would be looking after it while they go fucking in the Tennessee wilderness. Getting buzzed in, I wasn't allowed a key for some reason, I was pulled into the apartment and pushed into the couch with an eager Jasper in front of me.

"I'm feelin' down, as I rightly should, so tell me what happened so I can laugh and feel happy for the rest of the night."

"It's nice that my pathetic little life brings you joy, but nothing happened. You can call up Alice but she'll say the same thing. I think I'm going to bed." I pushed Jasper back and headed for the main bedroom.

"It's not even eight, and you're not sleepin' in the big bedroom."

"Why the hell not? I've slept on the couch for three fucking months, I'm pretty sure there's a dip in my spine that shouldn't be there. I think I deserve a little comfort."

"Sleep in the guest bedroom."

"That closet with a mattress? Fine, sleep in the bed soaked in Em's cum."

"Good try, but I changed the sheets today. Goodnight, Bella," I went into the spare bedroom, and I wasn't fucking about; it really was just a single mattress and a wardrobe. I got rid of most of my clothes and slipped into bed. This is probably the earliest I've gone to sleep since I had no tits. I heard Jasper talking quietly as he moved around the apartment, and awhile later, his phone snapped shut.

"I told you she'd tell you nothing." I rolled over and tried to sleep. I should probably tell Jasper about Kate. Does Hallmark have a 'sorry I didn't tell you about my druggie past' card?

**XxX**

**I really hope you like Kate, cause I do and I'm a bit sorry she doesn't play a bigger role.**

**So... whatcha think? Myself, I'm a bit on the fence about it.**


	22. Chapter 22

**I was in London this week and I wonder why I live in this country. I don't hate Britain, we're quite good when we put our minds to it, but I can easily see us sinking into the ocean like Greece will any month now. Then again, Greece has been quiet recently, maybe they're getting back on track. Anyway, I was walking down Piccadilly and this couple or mates or whatever they were, were walking towards me and as they passed I heard the woman say to the bloke, I shit you not, 'I agree, Richard, that was the finest bowl of watercress and Stilton soup I've had for a very long time.' in this very beautiful English accent, or what you Yanks would call posh. That was the best thing I've heard for months, and I had to sit down to compose myself. That is why I stay in this country; the people. That and we're cheap compared to most countries.**

**XxX**

Rose and Em went off to Tennessee the day after their wedding, Peter left two days before Christmas, and Toby and Charlotte went up to Nova Scotia to see family for the holidays; so Christmas was pretty quiet and kinda depressing.

"Morning," I grunted out, eyes half shut and vision blurry as hell. Jasper replied from the kitchen, and I heard the frying pan hissing and plates moving. Jasper came out balancing two plates on one arm and holding two mugs in the other hand. "I've never wanted you more, Jasper." He was wearing an 'I was a gay cowboy before it was cool' shirt that had a coffee stain down the bottom, pink shorts with two holes – one on the side and one under his ass – and to bring the whole thing together, one black sock pulled halfway up his shin.

"The feelin's mutual. Ham and cheese omelet, and coffee with a splash of brandy since it's a special occasion." He set the plates in front of us and put both mugs on coasters.

"This might be a little too early to tell but I think this Christmas is going to be worst than the one we spent trapped on Governors Island."

"Oh yes... It was windy that day. And rainin'. Merry Christmas," He clinked his mug against mine.

"You want to invite Alice over?" I asked after we finished our breakfasts and watching the Grinch. Jasper sent a smirk my way while he raised an eyebrow. "What? With just the two of us it'd be so depressing I'd have to slip a cyanide pill in your drink."

"Such a drawn out death?" I shrugged. "Fine, I'll call Alice." He got up and searched for his phone while I went into the kitchen and put a bit more brandy in my coffee. Alice knocked on the door twenty minutes later, a few presents under her arm and no Tanya in sight. Woohoo, maybe this Christmas won't suck after all.

"Oh yea, presents." I went into my wardrobe of a bedroom and dug around in my bag for Jasper and Alice's presents. "There you go," I sat next to Alice on the couch and gave her her present. I wrapped the book in newspaper, don't judge me, the branch that made the pages cost more than I make in four months.

"Are you okay?" Alice took the book from my hand and rested it on her knee. I sighed.

"This is one of the reasons I didn't want to tell you about... that. You're going to see me differently now, waiting for me to slip up, wondering if I'm doing it now."

"Bella, don't be ridiculous. I know you no longer take drugs," I shifted at the mention, and glanced at the bedroom doorway. All I needed was Jasper to find out by overhearing. "You have more strength than me or Jasper or Rosalie or Emmett. And I do see you differently, but not in a bad way. I look at you with more admiration, not down at you."

"Thanks." I bumped my shoulder against hers. Jasper came out with two shiny wrapped presents in one hand and a pair of reindeer antlers in the other. "That better not be for me."

"Of course it is." Jasper smiled and slipped them on my head. "Adorable."

"I'm going to shave your eyebrows again." I threw his wrapped soap bar at him.

"Don't do that; it took them so long to grow back." He left the presents on the coffee table as he turned the gift in his hands. "I'm concerned about the quality now."

"Have faith in me. Now gimme," Jasper threw me mine and passed Alice hers. I tore it open like there was money in it. "You bought me a magic eight ball?"

"You bought me gay soap?!" He shoved the packet in my face.

"What's wrong with that?" I pushed it away.

"It's pink!" He shoved it back.

"It's rose scented."

"It says gay bar on it. What is wrong with you?"

"Look under the soap, homo." I turned the eight ball in my hands. "What's the point of this?" I shook the ball.

"When I'm not around and can't answer your life's problems, ask the ball."

"You insane bastard. We've finished squabbling, open your present." I waited for Alice's reaction. I glanced at the ball. Will Alice like the book? I shook it lightly... Ask again later. Oh, what the fuck?

"Lolita? I already own a copy."

"I know, but it's a first edition and," I took the book off her hands and flipped to the page printed with the title. "It's signed."

"Holy... Bella, how did you find this? How could you afford it?" Alice flicked through the book, being so gentle with it, it was like she was expecting it to burst in flames.

"I got Char to prowl all the old book stores this side of New York with me. Considering what it is, it was very cheap. So... do you like it?"

Alice leaned over and wrapped her arms up and around my shoulders, giving me a kiss. I blinked in surprise. "I love it. I feel my gift won't compete now."

"You don't have to worry, you know I'm easy to please." I heard Jasper snort. I was tempted to throw the ball at him. She passed me a small wrapped rectangle, just slightly bigger than a box of matches. I ripped the bottom out and a black lighter fell in my hand. I turned it over and saw a silver Rolling Stones tongue carved on it. "Wow. This is really nice but I would've thought you'd buy me nicotine patches, and if that failed, a shock collar."

"The shock collar was my first gift but this was cheaper."

"Thank you, Ali cat. I think I'm gonna try it out now." I grabbed my cigarettes and headed out to my smoking step. When the flame came out of the lighter it rose high enough to almost take off my eyebrow and singed the end of my fringe.

"What's that smell?" Jasper asked when I came back in.

"Slightly burnt hair. The lighter had more punch in it than I expected." I sat on the couch next to Alice who was reading. "What's the plan for the day? Drink then more drinking?"

"We have no one to visit, a lot of places will be closed. I suppose we'll see how the day goes."

We ended up going to Antarctica for Christmas lunch since no one thought about buying food for today. Even though bacon is made from the gods it wouldn't do for Christmas, unless wrapped around tiny sausages. We stayed in the bar until they closed at four, then went back home to continue drinking.

Rose and Em came back on New years eve to find me asleep, or maybe passed out, on top of the breakfast table, Jasper asleep on the couch and Alice asleep on top of him. Alice had spent most of her time here, and no Tanya in sight. Santa obviously read my letter. I climbed off the table and made myself a cup of coffee when Rose pulled her coat, which I was using as a blanket, off me and hit me with it.

"I would've thought a week full of sex would calm you down and not make you act like a bitch."

"Sex doesn't stop you from acting like a bitch, why should it change me?"

"I've missed you as well, Big bird." I lifted Jasper and Alice's feet off the couch and slid underneath them. "Got any plans for Years eve? Cause we," I pointed to the still asleep Jasper and Alice. "Thought about just going to Antarctica since Times Square's not worth it anymore."

"That sounds like fun, right babe?" Em sat down in the corner of the room that was the 'official' TV room. They still had one of those TV's with the fat back which... well, you just don't see those anymore. Alice stretched as she woke up and ended up kicking me in the face.

"Ow, fucking Christ, woman." I rubbed my cheek.

"Sorry," She mumbled as she pushed herself off Jasper. Rose greeted Alice more warmly than she did me, and they talked about the honeymoon for awhile. Jasper woke up a couple minutes later and got up, without kicking me. Rose cooked us a late lunch then took a shower, Em joining her.

"Hey, since the New Year is close and the end of the world turned out to be a bust, I think I should say a couple things and try to get 2013 off to a good start." I leaned back in my chair, trying to ignore the noises coming from the bathroom. Jesus, you would've thought they'd have enough up in Tennessee.

"Are you finally comin' out of the closet?" Jasper asked, drinking his coffee.

"A couple years too late for that." I stood up and nodded towards the front door. "Alice, could I talk to you in private?"

"Remember the last time you asked me that?" She broke a Ding Dong in half and gave one piece to Jasper.

"I know, but I promise this will be a happier talk."

"Okay, I believe you." She followed me out the door, and I closed the door behind us to make sure Jasper or the other two wouldn't hear.

"I just want to apologize for... everything. Yea, I think everything covers it. I'm sorry I've been such a bitch to Tanya. I let my experience with Kate cloud my opinion on her. I bet Tanya is a nice person, in some ways." I smiled and slid down the wall. Alice sat down next to me, crossing her legs. "Even though we haven't talked about it since it happened, and you almost putting me back in hospital, I'm sorry I slept with Tanya. Very, very, truly, one of the things I'll always regret for the rest of my life, sorry."

"Why are you so apologetic suddenly? Have you done something?"

"No..." I thought for a second. "No, no. I just want us to be on good terms by the end of the night."

"A clever idea," She stood up and knocked on the door.

"Friends?" I held out my hand, partly so I could get up.

She hesitated then nodded and grabbed my hand then grabbed my forearm, pulling me up. "God, Bella, how much do you weigh?"

"Hey, it ain't my fault you're so tiny and weak." Alice let go of my hand and I fell back against the wall. "That's just immature." The door opened. Alice smiled and went inside.

"What happens when I'm not lookin'?" Jasper asked, pulling me up and pushing me through the door.

"The usual. Jasper, I've got to tell you something," I stopped when I saw Rose sitting at the table. "Oh, yea. I might as well tell you guys." I ran my hand through my hair. "Remember when I dated a woman called Kate early on in high school?"

"That stupid premature middle life crisis of yours?" Rose snorted as she read the newspaper. "How old was she, 24?"

"She was only four years older than me."

"She was in college and could drink legally while you could barely have sex legally."

"Look, Rose, shut up." Rose looked affronted, and Em turned down the TV. "Kate was at the wedding and it got me remembering things I would've liked to forget, but since that ain't gonna happen, I think it's about time I told you." I sat down and stared at my feet. I wonder if my pinkie toe nail will ever grow back.

"Well? What's this amazing revelation you're to tell us?" Rose moved from the table to the armchair to my right. Jasper stood by the fireplace, Em was still in the TV corner but had turned the TV either off or on mute, and Alice sat next to me, acting as a buffer between me and bitch Blondie.

"While I was with Kate, I was doing coke."

It wasn't like when I told Alice, no. Jasper and Rose were talking over each other as soon as I finished. Jasper was asking question after question but I could barely hear him since Rose was almost shouting. I was hoping they'd run out of stamina but after a minute of questions and shouting, I could feel my head start to pound with a headache.

"Shut up." I said loudly. They continued. I grabbed the closest thing to me, my coffee mug, and slammed it down on the table making it break and some coffee drip over the edge of the table, and I felt a couple pieces dig into my hand. "Now shut the fuck up." I stood up and, ignoring the pain in my hand, turned to Jasper. "You go first."

"I'm shocked. Bella, I'm so disappointed in you," Oh, no, don't be disappointed, be pissed off like Rose. I looked at my feet. "How long have you been on cocaine?"

"I'm not still on it. Remember when I visited Renee when she was living in Colorado? It stopped then. It started... I don't know, a few weeks into the relationship."

"I can't believe it. How did you keep this from us for so long?"

"I'm obviously more cunning than I realize." Rose snorted behind me. I sighed and turned around. "Okay. Let me have it, Big Bird."

"It's perfect," She laughed. "You're the full package; you're a smoker, a raving alcoholic, have your legs open so much I'm surprised they know how to close, a cheater, and to add the cherry on the top, you're a little druggie. You're officially the dreg of the earth."

"Rosalie, that is enough." Alice stood up and between me and Rose. "I would've expected a resemblance of understanding from you."

"Clean up the mess you made." Rose went to her room and slammed the door shut. Em followed her, throwing a sorry in my direction.

"I'll help you get the glass out." Alice took my other hand and lead me to the bathroom, pushing me down on the edge of the bath, searching through the mirrored cabinet and took out a tweezer and a bag of cotton balls. "I can't believe Rose said that. Even for her that was harsh." She knelt in front of me and turn my hand around, wiping off the blood that ran down my fingers.

"Are you really that surprised? I was never her favourite." I hissed as she pulled out a piece from my palm.

"It's not right. It's bad enough she thinks those things, let alone say them aloud." She pressed a cotton ball against the cut. "She doesn't mean what she said, you know? I'm sure it was only shock."

"If you say so. Thanks for getting Rose to back- ow!" I flinched back and pulled my hand away.

"Oh, shush." She rolled her eyes and pulled my hand forward. "You've hurt yourself far worse than this."

"Yea, yea." I gripped the edge of the bath as Alice pulled out the rest of the glass. She stood up and took out a roll of bandage from the cabinet and wrapped it around my hand.

"All better, but please hold back from breaking more mugs. Give Rose a day and she'll calm down." She kissed my cheek then left. Jasper was cleaning up the coffee stain and the few drops of blood.

"Jasper, don't, I'll clean it up."

"I'm finished." He put the cloth on the table and sat on the couch. "Why didn't you confide in me, Bella? You know I would've helped you, I would've kept it between us."

"I didn't want you to be disappointed in me, like you are now." I found my jacket and took out my lighter and a bent cigarette. "I'll be back in a minute." I hit my knees in a beat as smoke swirled in my face, making my eyes water. The apartment door opened and Em came back to sit next to me. "Hey, how's Rose?"

"She'll be back to normal." He shifted his weight so he could squeeze in the small space between me and the railing. I moved and sat on the step below.

"I'm sorry I ruined your honeymoon period. I should've waited or not told anyone at all."

"No," He waved me off. "You don't keep something like that locked up. You know pa was an alcoholic?"

I looked up at him, surprised. "Papa Bear had a drinking problem?"

He nodded. "It was before I was born. He was a functional one, that's why it was hard to spot it. He hid it from ma for seven years."

"How come I've never heard about this before?"

"I don't tell everyone I meet, it's pa's life. Only Rose knows, and you now."

"Why are you telling me then?"

"To show you it's best to tell people. If pa didn't tell ma, he may still be a drunk. People can help you defeat your problem and support you. I'm sorry you went through it all by yourself." He stood up, pulling me up with him, then grinned. "Kate was hot though."

"Yea, she was. Thanks, bear man." He grinned and opened the door. "Uhh... guys, there's more to the story than I just said. More than I told you, Alice. I might as well finish while you're still disappointed. Kate was quite controlling. When I'd say I was meeting one of you guys she'd distract me." I hoped I didn't have to elaborate. I cleared my throat and walked up to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. "There was this time where she didn't have money for some coke and demanded I fuck this guy as payment. I said no, obviously. She did it instead, in the next room, but not leaving until she made me feel this small," I found an olive and held it up. "She actually made me feel guilty for not whoring myself.

"She hated you, Alice. She knew we had something and she fucking hated it and was extremely jealous. We had this big, _big_ fight a couple weeks before it ended and I lost." I moved my hair and showed off the scar, which they probably couldn't see clearly from down there. "This was done by one of those metal nail filers. Never knew they were sharp enough to cut through skin. You know what," I left the olive and water and headed for the door. "I'm a bit tired from all this show and tell. I'll be with Toby."

I stayed with Toby at the tattoo parlour for a couple hours, helping him with clients and the phone when he was busy marking someone. I asked him to come along when I decided to headed for Antarctica. He said he would show up if it was quiet.

Antarctica's ceiling had a net filled with balloons pinned to it, a banner across the TV and not much else for decorations. Instead of nuts in the bowl, there were poppers and blowers.

"Do you just work here full time now?" I asked Charlotte as she stopped in front of us.

"I'm doing a favour for a friend while she's on holiday." She adjusted the New years hat and smiled. "What's your order? First drink is free."

"Free?" My eyes scanned the spirits lining the wall. "Okay... okay, I'll have a neat double whiskey."

"You're not the first to order an expensive drink," She sighed. "Did something happen? Jasper and Alice seemed subdued when they came in." Char frowned at me before turning around and doing my drink. I ran a hand through my hair.

"Yea... yea, there's a reason. And no, I'm not gonna tell you." Char came back and gave me my drink. "Why didn't you call to say you were back? We could've got wasted and talked about Christmas."

"As lovely as that sounds, I was busy. And I'm busy now. The pair are by the quiz machine." I nodded and took a sip. A couple more drinks later and I pushed my way through people to the touch machine in the corner, where we ignored what was said in the apartment and argued over every question the quiz gave us.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Of course dolphins have teeth." I tried to push the button but Alice pinned my hand to the side of the machine.

"Why would they need teeth? They don't tear into flesh, they eat their food whole like whales."

"Whales are a hundred times bigger than dolphins and they only eat tiny goldfish things." I tried to press the button with my other hand but Jasper pinned it down.

"Alice's right, dolphins don't have teeth." Jasper went to press but I shouldered him out the way.

"You're all idiots." I heard her sigh behind me. A blue painted nail hand reached over my shoulder and clicked on they do. It was correct. Rose set her wine glass on the table next to the game. "On the rare occasions I think about you, Bella, I wonder why you aren't in college, even a community one, and then I see this and other examples."

"Well, aren't you full of praises tonight." I stepped back and let Jasper and Alice continue. "Am I forgiven for the mistakes I made when I was even more stupid?" I asked.

"No, but Emmett has made a few understandable points. And that a new year is to start soon, shall we be pleasant to one another?"

"Of course. Until I say the next thing to piss you off." I asked Em to get me another beer and went back to arguing about whether the sun rose in the East or the West.

"The ball's going to drop, everyone!" Char shouted from behind the bar a couple hours later. Some people paired up but most of them just got louder and more drunk.

I drank the last in my bottle and searched for Alice, finding her by the pool table talking with some random drunk. "Hey Alice," 10... 9... 8... "Can I?" I nodded towards the TV. 6... 5... 4...

She glanced towards the TV and then nodded. "Okay, but one small kiss." 2... 1...

I smiled and squeezed her hip, giving her a small kiss while everyone else was shouting and a loads of small bangs going off. "Happy New year, Ali cat."

Alice blinked and then slowly wrapped her arms around my shoulders, kissing me properly.

**XxX**

**Yes! Yes, we finally did it! We finally got there!**

**One more chapter and then the epilogue. I think you guys are going to love the next chappie, a lot of shit happens.**


	23. Chapter 23

**What does everyone think of the site's new design? Not crazy about it myself. Some stuff actually happens in this chapter. Gotta say this is one of my favourite chappies. Heads up; there is a point in this chapter where you'll probably want to punch me, it involves BxA, but push through that cause I like to think I make up for it.**

**Only the epilogue to go!**

**XxX**

"I think I'm still hungover." I groaned as I stumbled to the kitchen two days later. Jasper was cooking this time, an apron tied around his waist. Rose were sitting in the TV corner, quietly talking on the phone. Em must've gone to work already.

"I'm not surprised; you drank enough to kill a normal person." Jasper commented, flipping the pancake.

"It was New years." The doorbell went off. "Jesus, this early?" I opened the door and Alice walked through.

"It's 12:45." Alice kissed my cheek.

"Don't you have an apartment somewhere?" I asked Alice as I followed her to the couch. "I think Rose should start charging your visits."

"Don't you have a house somewhere?" She teased back.

"You're right, I should get back to it." I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bowl, milk and Rice Krispies.

"I was only teasing, Bella."

"I know, but I should start thinking about getting back to Washington. I was going to talk about it yesterday but I was too hungover." I sat at the breakfast table and poured a late breakfast. "The wedding is finished, which was the original reason for coming down here, the holidays are over, what's left to stay for? I'm not moving back here, I can't be bothered to pack everything up again."

"Right..." Jasper untied the apron and hung it on the back door handle. "I'll start packin'." He headed for his bedroom.

"Oh no you don't." I caught his wrist and span him around. "You're staying here."

"What?" He frowned.

"You're staying here. You don't belong in the middle of fucking nowhere backwoods town. You belong in a city, you belong here. Jasper, you've been so happy here, so much happier than you were in Washington, I feel like I'd be incredibly selfish letting you fly back with me."

"What about Embry?"

"You can make a long distance relationship work. He has relatives up here, so when he visits them he can visit you, and you visit him when your hand gets too boring." I stood up and took his face in my hands and smiled. "We have been friends for years and years and have lived together, I'm finally getting sick of seeing your face."

"What about you? Won't you be lonely in the wilderness on your own?"

"Wilderness?" I snorted. "Homo, please. It's a forest at best. I'll be fine, I've got some people I like up there." I kissed him. "I'll get the ticket tomorrow. You've got to be thankful, Rose, not having my drunken ass on your couch."

"Yes, I'll be glad when I see the back of you. You eating and drinking me out of house and home is not as fun as you made it out to be."

"Mmm, I can feel the love come off you in waves." I pressed my hand to my chest. Jasper's phone rang. "What do you think, Alice?"

"Can I speak to you outside for a moment?" I felt my insides slightly, just slightly, shrivel up in fear. I nodded but stopped when I saw Jasper's face.

"Hey, Jasper, what's wrong?"

"I'll be there soon." He hung up then stared at his phone. "That was the hospital. Peter's been emitted, he's... he's been shot."

"Shit... Okay, tell us where he is, Rose we're taking your car." I grabbed my jacket and shoes, and threw Rose her keys. We piled into her coupé and drove up to the Bronx. Jasper bolted out of the car as it went passed the entrance, not waiting for Rose to park.

"Sir, sir, please calm down. I cannot help you if you're acting irrational."

"Why aren't you tellin' me anythin'? I need to know!" Jasper grabbed the doctor's sleeve. I pulled him back and pinned his hands to his side.

"Sorry, we just got some news that wasn't the best." I patted his arm and pushed him towards Alice. "Look, we just want to know about a Peter Whitlock, he was emitted today."

"I am sorry but I know nothing of this patient. Take a seat in the waiting area and I'll find his doctor." We lead Jasper to the waiting room and put him in one of the free seats.

Twenty minutes passed and a new doctor arrived, quickly reminding me of a ginger Nathan Lane. "Who is the brother?" His eyes jumped us, staying on Rose for a bit.

"I am." Jasper stood up and ran a hand through his hair. "What's happened to him?"

"Your brother was shot while on a patrol. He was hit twice in his torso and once in his left arm, luckily missing all vital organs. When he was transferred here we thought the medics in Iraq had healed him, but we saw he showed signs of internal bleeding. We saw in the X-ray a piece of shrapnel had caused the bleeding. He is now in surgery and we are removing the shrapnel and stopping the internal bleeding. I will tell you more as it progresses." He nodded once and turned and walked back to the surgery room.

Jasper dropped into his chair and covered his face with his hands. Rose sat on the armrest and stroked his hair. I leaned against the wall in a gap between a couch and someone sitting in a chair and crossed my arms, pressing a set of knuckles to my mouth.

"Bella, I really need to talk to you." Alice asked, standing in front of me.

"Now really isn't the right time."

"Don't use Peter as an excuse to get out of this."

"I'm not, I'm being considerate, unlike you."

"Me inconsiderate? I wasn't the one giving false hope two days ago and promising something that I had no intention of doing. I left Tanya because of you, for you!" She punched my shoulder, closer to my collarbone. I gritted my teeth to stop from groaning and maybe shouting at her, and clutched my shoulder.

"You need to calm the fuck down, Tinkerbell. What do you expect me to do, stay on Rose's couch for the rest of my life? Move in with you? And you should be goddamn grateful you left Tanya. She was a manipulative bitch just like her sister."

"Not this again. There is no proof that she is anything like her-"

"She cheated on you! How is that not enough proof for y-"

"Stop it!" Jasper shouted, standing up. "You two are arguin' over somethin' meaningless and petty while my brother could be dyin'." Then he allowed the first tear to fall. Rose hugged him and whispered in his ear.

"Do I need to escort you two out?" A security guard came around the corner and glared at all of us.

"No, you don't need to do that." I rotated my shoulder. "I need to call someone." I pushed Alice out the way and headed outside, dialling her number. "Char?"

"Bella, hi, how are you?"

"Yea, I'm... yea, can you come up to the VA hospital in the Bronx? Peter's here and... just come up here okay?"

Charlotte came running through the doors thirty minutes later looking worried. "Bella, what happened? What's wrong with Peter?" She sat down next to me on the couch, furthest place away from everyone.

"He's been shot. He's alive," I reassured her when she turned four shades paler. "But some shrapnel got him and..." I trailed off.

"And what? Tell me Bella, or I swear to god." She gripped my collar.

"I don't know. He's been in surgery for at least half an hour and I don't know if that's good or bad. We just have to wait and see."

Charlotte let go of my shirt and then hunched over, resting her elbows heavily on her knees and covering her mouth with her hands. "How did you know to call me?" She asked, her voice coming out muffled.

"Just a hunch." I rubbed her back as we continued to wait for the doc to come back. He did awhile later. Char and Jasper were the firsts to jump up.

"Peter has come out of surgery and everything is fine." He smiled. "We've put him in ICU to monitor him for the time being, and you can visit him if you want. Family only though." He stopped Char when she started to follow him to Peter's room. "I'm sorry, what's your relation to the patient?"

"I'm his fiancée." She didn't miss a beat. I felt my eyebrows shoot up. Guess my hunch was right. Jasper and Char followed the doc to Peter's room while the three of us finally relaxed.

"I should call Emmett." Rose went outside, leaving me and Alice alone. She was reading what looked like a two year old US Weekly, unless Tiger Woods married Elin then cheated on her again, while I was chewing my thumb nail down to the knuckle.

"What were you thinking?" Alice closed the magazine and slapped it down on the table next to her.

"Don't start again." I sighed. "I can feel a bruise coming on already."

"I want to know your thinking." She came to sit next to me and glared. "Why would you propose a new relationship if you were going to leave three days later? Why did you even bother talking to me that night?"

"I don't know, I don't fucking know." The woman across from us looked at me disapprovingly. "Ma'am, if you didn't like what just came out of my mouth you're gonna hate the rest of this conversation." I ran my hand through my hair. "Look, I'm being a contradictory bastard and completely unfair to you but... I don't know what I want anymore. I've never known what I've wanted."

"Don't drag me into your mid-life crisis. I will not be collateral damage." She stomped off in the same direction Char and Jasper went. I blew out a breath and covered my eyes.

"You certainly know how to clear a room, Bella." Rose sat down next to me and crossed her legs.

"One of my many fabulous traits." I leaned back and raised my eyebrows. "Come on, let me have it. Load up your insults and shoot."

"I feel sorry for you."

"Is that all? I gotta say, Big bird, you're losing your edge."

"I feel sorry for you because you make your life exceedingly and unnecessarily complicated. You don't allow yourself to be fully happy and you toy with the emotions of people who love you. It's almost like you're punishing yourself for the mistakes you made while still a child, and I believe even you aren't that stupid." She picked up an old Car and Driver. "You said at my wedding that Emmett and I didn't let our stupidity and stubbornness ruin our relationship, and that we should all take heed from our example. I'd hate for you to come to regret something you didn't do because you didn't take your own advice."

I stayed silent as I stared at my feet. Heels clicking on the floor made me look up. Char's mascara was running and was clutching something in her left hand. I quickly stood up and hugged her tightly. She was breathing unsteadily and her body was shaking.

"It's okay, Char, he's going to be fine now."

"Jasper wants you to see him." She whispered. I nodded and let Rose take over and left after giving Char a squeeze. I asked a passing nurse and she lead me to Peter's room. I knocked and Alice opened the door. I nodded to her and walked closer to the bed. Beeping. Lots of beeping and nothing else. I kept my eyes to the floor, holding off looking for as long as possible. I took a deep breath and dragged my eyes up, over Jasper sitting in a fold up chair, over a heart monitor and an IV drip and tubes, and then down to the man lying in the bed. I felt my throat tighten.

Peter was white, not pale, white. Even his lips looked white. A tube was connected to him, helping him breath I guess. His hair was limp and not its usual shiny gold, his left bicep was bandaged but I couldn't tell the rest of his injuries since the hospital gown and sheet covered the rest of his body. He looked... he looked dead.

I stepped behind Jasper and put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I'm more okay than Charlotte." I saw him rub his eyes. I took the chair from the end of the bed and sat down next to him. "Did you know about Charlotte and Pete?"

"I had a feeling but I didn't think I was right. I'm sure they're not engaged though."

We went back to the apartment when we were kicked out after visiting hours and mostly tried to comfort Jasper and Char, Em joining in on the party when he came back from work. I offered to drive Char back to work when she got a text from Toby, and Alice asked if I could drop her off at home. I borrowed Em's car and drove Charlotte home first. I told her to call me if she needed anything and gave Toby a warning.

"Uhh," I cleared my throat as I stopped the car at a red light. "Sorry I screwed you out of a relationship." Alice didn't reply and just stared out the window. "Really. I would say it was the drink but that's a piss poor excuse. But..." I hesitated, not sure if this was going to be the right or wrong thing to say. "You have to admit it wasn't the best coupling. I mean, did you even have anything in common?"

I looked in the rear-view to see her clenching her jaw but didn't answer. I was a couple blocks away from her apartment when she did answer. "We don't have a lot in common."

I parked outside her door and cut off the engine. "I won't be leaving tomorrow. I'll wait until Peter's woken up."

"How considerate." Alice unclipped her seatbelt and got out the car.

"Yea..." She slammed the door shut. "Yea." I rolled down my window and shouted for her. "Alice," She turned around, key in hand. "Forgive me. Please." She turned around and went inside. I sighed and drove back to the apartment.

"You okay?" I sat down next to Jasper on the couch and bumped my shoulder to his. He nodded and put his head on my shoulder.

"Are you leavin' tomorrow?"

"No, not until Peter wakes up. Want me to come with you tomorrow?" He nodded. "Okay, but we'll have to take the sub; I heard Rose's doing an interview." He nodded again. "Jasper, I'm sorry about today. It was incredibly inappropriate to start arguing in the middle of a hospital."

"I'm too tired to chastise you, Bella." He stood up and rubbed his eyes. "I would like to leave early."

"Don't worry, I'll be up." I stood up and kissed him lightly. "Peter's okay now. He's healing and he's fine. Sleep well, homo." Jasper smiled and went to his room.

"What are you doing still up?" Rose came out of her room wearing a short red robe. "Bella, stop staring at my legs."

"Sorry, but they're very lovely." I turned off the TV. "Why are you up at two in the morning?" I stood up and set my wine glass full of whiskey down on the breakfast table. I couldn't find a tumbler.

"I heard noises."

"Sorry, I forgot you're a light sleeper. Go back to sleep, and if you're having trouble I'll go out and find some rohypnol."

"I always assumed you had a box with you at all times. Why else would women sleep with you?"

"Great, your wit is sharp as fuck no matter what time it is." I sat down at the breakfast table and watched Rose make herself some of that hippy green tea. "Rose... when you and Em had that falling out, how did you get back together?"

"We talked." She pulled out a chair and sat opposite me, mug of tea in front of her.

"That's it?" I didn't mean to sound so incredulous.

"No, we did more but talking was what helped us the most. Alice still loves you, she even trusts you, but she believes you only want her in your bed." She took a sip. "And you're not rushing to correct her."

"Yea, yea, yea, I'm a douchebag." I ran my hand through my hair. "How do you do it, Rose? How are you confident in everything you do? You don't let people ridicule you, you don't let people manipulate you, you don't take their shit lying down. You know what you want in life and you do whatever you can, whatever you need to do to get it. How do you not get drowned in your own self doubt or just give up when the obstacles become too tough?"

Rose smiled, a rare sight when it's directed at me. "Because I'm driven. When I see something I truly, one hundred percent, without a doubt in my mind, want I grab it and don't let go. I didn't lie in my vows when I said Emmett helps me greatly when I become insecure. Especially in my career choice. Do you know how many people have labelled me as the blonde that doesn't have a single thought in her head? I've worked in four different mechanic shops, and I think three people overall took me seriously. I've been mocked, I've been the brunt of many jokes, I've been groped more times than I'd like to reflect on. But I hold my head high and I continue on through it all because I love what I do and I will not let a group of grease monkeys drive me away from it." She pulled the folds of her robe together and I thought I saw a hint of nipple. "But even though I push through I can't help but let some of their comments hit me. I'm not confident in everything I do.

"This is going to hurt me to say, Bella, but you're not stupid... in some ways. You are not stupid and you are not easily manipulated. You were young and Kate was your very first girlfriend, yes?" I nodded. "Your drug use was not your fault... entirely."

"Rose, you've never been this nice to me. I'm a little scared."

"Don't become used to it." She took her mug to the kitchen and gave my shoulder a pat when she walked back passed me. "Get some sleep. You're taking Jasper to the hospital soon."

"Wait, how do you know that?"

"I was in the room. You're not observant but you can find a bottle of alcohol like a blood hound."

"Night, Big bird." I heard the bedroom door close. I slowly finished my drink, turned off the lamp by the couch and went to sleep.

...

"How long do you think your brother has been boning Charlotte?" I asked Jasper as we walked through the hospital doors.

"Oh, for the love of god, Bella! What is wrong with you?"

"It's a completely reasonable question. Lets not be naïve about this and think they just play chess late at night." We stopped in front of Peter's room just as his doc was coming out.

"Jasper, isn't it?" He smiled and shook Jasper's hand. "Come in, Peter woke up today."

Charlotte was already there looking much much happier. "I didn't peg you as a Nightingale kind of chick, Char."

"I think it's sweet." Peter smiled from the bed. He looked more alive, had a bit more colour around the edges. "How's my little brother?" He cleared his throat.

"Better. How are you feelin'?" Jasper took the spare chair and sat down next to Char.

"Take into account I was almost dead 48 hours ago, I feel great." I rolled my eyes, Char sighed and Jasper shook his head. "We'll laugh about this one day, I know it. I'm surprised you're still here, Bella."

"I'll probably leave tomorrow or the next day. You on the other hand, you stupid bastard, don't you know to duck when bullets come flying at you?" I sat down at the end on the edge of his bed, and poked his foot.

"They forgot to teach us that in basic training, but I'll remember next time."

"Next time?" Charlotte's voice went two pitches higher. She couldn't lay into him and verbally bitch slap him since someone knocked on the door.

I've never met them but I've seen photos of them, and Jasper's parents walked through the door. Jasper and Char turned in their chairs and then Jasper went fifty shades of pale. The father... shit, what was his name? Hoyt I think. Hoyt looked like a dick and nothing like Jasper or Peter. Blonde hair, thick black eyebrows, wide cheekbones and an uneven jawline. With that body though, he did look like he could crush me with his thumb. The mother on the other hand... fuck, she was quite beautiful actually. Beautiful but in a scary kind of way, like if you'd pissed her off and hugged her she would slid a knife in your back.

I leaned towards Jasper. "How come you didn't tell me your mother was Spanish?" I whispered in his ear.

"It never came up."

"I always thought you tanned quickly." They both completely ignored Jasper and went to Peter's side, one on each side.

"My boy, look what they did to you." Mary... Mandy? Pushed Peter's hair away from his face. "Are you okay? Do you need a nurse?"

"I'm fine, mom."

"That's my boy! You don't show any weakness." Hoyt patted Peter's shoulder, his injured arm, and I saw Peter cover a grimace. "You see, Jasper, this is a real man. He's fighting and bleeding for his country. What have you done since you left my house?"

I felt my jaw drop a couple inches. I got up off the bed and stood behind Jasper, putting my hand on his shoulder.

"I'm not a fighter and even if I was, the Army isn't partial for allowin' gays in." Hoty's mouth twisted at gay.

"I can't blame them; we don't want Nancys going into a war zone." I tightened my hand on Jasper's shoulder to keep myself from leaping over the bed and making this fucker's jaw more uneven. "Who are you?" His eyes went between me and Char. I was too busy biting my tongue, literally, to answer.

"Mom, dad, this is Charlotte. Charlotte, this is Hugh and Maria." Peter smiled and squeezed Char's hand.

"Are you his girlfriend?" Maria's eyes went from their hands to Char's face. She nodded and didn't shrivel up under the intensifying gaze. Maria hummed and went back to fixing Peter's hair.

"You?" Hugh eyes narrowed at me.

"Bella. I'm a great friend of Jasper and Peter."

"Even though he's a queer?"

"Yes, even though he's gay." My hand tightened again. Jasper reached up and patted my hand.

"Are you one of those lesbians?"

"And if I am? Are you doing to splash holy water on me and start quoting bible verses?"

"I will not be talked to like that by some foolish dyke."

"You know, people who are so strongly against gays and hate them so greatly, most of the time they're in denial and extremely gay themselves." His face went red and he looked ready to shout at me. "Come on Jasper, let's go get some food." I pulled Jasper up and walked out the door towards the cafeteria. "What a pair of cunts." Passing nurses and some patients looked appalled.

"They're still my parents, Bella." Jasper didn't look too pleased about my language either.

"Maria completely ignores you, though I gotta say that's better than what that dickhead does. How do you put up with that? Why do you? If I said even a quarter of what that guy said you wouldn't talk to me for five months and definitely stick Rose on me."

"He's my father; he's family."

"Exactly. You don't talk to your family like that. If you don't like a member, you don't talk to them." We grabbed a table in a corner of the room. "I don't want to leave you alone with them two."

"Bella, even though I find this new found gentleness adorable, I'll be able to look after myself when they're involved. I've lived with them for most my life, I can handle a few hours." He smiled. "Go home tomorrow, make sure your house hasn't been robbed or taken over by woodland animals."

"It's not Snow White's house, homo."

...

I zipped up my bag and threw it over my shoulder. "Well, that's everything." I grabbed my wallet and put it in my back pocket. "Rose, when you decide to pop out a little devil child, call me. I'll be there for its first drink, tattoo and lesbionic encounter."

"And if it's a boy?" Rose asked, opening the door. I wouldn't be surprised if she pulled out party hats and popped open a bottle of champagne when I leave.

"Then his first drag queen contest. I'll drag Jasper along as well." I opened my arms and grinned. "Come on, you know you wanna." She rolled her eyes but hugged anyway, slowly sinking her nails in my shoulder. I smiled and pulled back. "Tell Em I'll see him when I see him."

"Bella," Jasper pulled me into a hug. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, but for what?"

"Allowin' me to stay, helping me with dealin' with Pete and my parents. Even for bein' my friend for all these years."

"Alright, homo." I pulled back and rolled my eyes. "Stop before you start growing a pussy." I kissed his cheek. "I love you too." I ran my hand through my hair when I turned to Alice. "Could we talk outside for a minute?"

"Do I get a big goodbye speech from you?" Alice asked when we were in the hallway.

"Not quite. Could you keep an eye on Jasper, and to an extent Charlotte? I'm still worried about them two and Peter. And that the parents from hell are here and I won't be able to kick that bastard of a father in the balls."

"Okay," She nodded. "I'll make sure they're coping. Was that all?"

"More or less. Though could we leave on good terms? Jesus, even me and Rose have come to an understanding."

She stared at me for ages, probably seeing if I was fucking with her. She finally nodded and hugged me. I felt an electro shock go through me. Ha, I'm only fucking with you. What the hell is it with book that say that?

I hugged her tightly. "Thank you." I looked at my watch over her head. "I've gotta go." I smiled and squeezed her hip. I clicked the elevator button, it's finally working, and stepped in. I smiled again at Alice as the doors closed.

_1 month later_

It turns out when you don't call your boss to tell him you'll be away for a couple weeks, he gets a tiny bit pissed. So, I came home to no job, still don't have one, an empty house and pissing with rain. I sent Jasper a box full of his clothes so he wouldn't run out of boxers and then the rest of his stuff when he told me he moved into Peter's apartment. I can see that working out fabulously.

I finished my unofficial vow of chastity when I had a one nighter with Leah. It was... not the best, and Leah agreed.

"_That was... umm." I stopped as I pulled my shirt over my head._

"_Awkward as hell? Felt like sleeping with your sister?" Leah sat up against her headboard and wrapped the sheet around her._

"_I was going to say not in my top ten but your words work just fine."_

A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts. I rolled off the couch. It was raining again and cold as fuck, the wind biting my bare legs when I opened the door. I felt my breath catch in my throat and blinked a dozen times.

"Alice?"

"Hi Bella."

**XxX**

**Now _that_ is how you end a chapter. So, did I make it up to you?**

***Le gasp* I used the C word! Yea, I had to, it seemed only fair. I've used every swear out there that isn't British, so I might as well complete the set. Has anyone watched Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps? It's kinda like that. They swear in every episode but they only use the C once every series.**

**I really thought about killing off Peter but na, I'm not one to kill characters. Fuck over their lives and get them put in hospital, but not kill. I don't know medical stuff... at all, so I had to try and be logical throughout this chapter. But me and logic aren't always the best of mates, and I think we were having a fight when I wrote this chapter.**

**Review for... what holiday just went by? St. Patrick's day? Yea, review for St. Drinking day.**


	24. Chapter 24

**LAST CHAPTER! Holy fuck, we finally finished this slow death. How long did this bastard take... two, three years? More?**

**I don't think I've ever done this: I don't own Twilight, the characters, the settings, or anything else, and I didn't own it in the previous chapters.**

**XxX**

_1 year later_

It's been an interesting year. Alice turned up on my doorstep and after lots and lots and lots of talking and a slap, that became one of the most awkward starts to a relationship. I found myself working at someone's stables and became the owners' bitch; dragging squares of hay weighing the same as me, shovelling mountains of horse crap, and light building that was mostly carrying planks of wood and passing them to the guys. That was until I fell off the fucking roof and broke my arm. My shoulder still hurts when it's cold... so, all the time.

Benjamin apparently skipped the whole business school, saved his money, went to an auto mechanic school and was planning on opening his own shop soonish, promising a second in command position for Rose. While all that was happening, Charlie was stabbed during a run of the mill grab and run, Renee and Phil eloped to Vegas, and I was told Kate was found with three ounces of coke on her but nothing happened. Woo.

Rose became pregnant about two months after the wedding, I know, they didn't waste any time, Peter made a full recovery and then moved in with Charlotte later in the year. Jasper took Alice's apartment, that apartment should be the official representation for recycling, but then I got a call from him saying he had moved to Seattle and was living in the University District with Embry.

I felt something hit the back of my head. I rubbed my head and looked at the balled up socks by my feet. I turned around and glared at Alice.

"Was that really necessary?"

"Yes. Go downstairs and get the last two boxes." She dropped a box on the couch and then did her version of a Superwoman pose.

"Why?" I whined as I grabbed her around the waist.

"_Because_ I have done all the work, and don't you deny it."

"I drove," I pressed my forehead against hers as I thought. "I... made you cum at least twice before we left."

"Those don't count. Go," She kissed me lightly. "Before I kick you out and you have to explain to Jasper why you're on his doorstep on our first night here."

"You drive a hard bargain, pixie." I squeezed her hip and went down the two floors to the car out front, taking both boxes in one go which nearly killed me when I found out one of them was filled with books. I sat on the boxes and stretched out my arms. "When did we have so much crap?"

"It's mostly yours." Alice sat down on my knee. I laughed.

"Me? Most of the boxes are your fucking clothes. I don't even know if we're going to able to fit all of them in here."

"My clothes collection is the perfect size, it's you that wears the same clothes like a cartoon character." Alice got up and went into the kitchen, plugging in the kettle and made coffee. Jasper got the coffee maker... and the big TV and also the good laptop. It's almost like we divorced and I got the shitty stuff. I stood up and leaned next to the window. It was busy in the city today.

"Do you think Seattle is going to like us?"

"I don't know about you but I know Seattle will love me." I chuckled. I rolled my shoulder and heard a click. "How's your shoulder?" Alice came up behind me and passed me my mug. I hummed and took a sip. "Bella, tell me."

"It's fine. I'm pretty sure it's never going to be the same so it's fine." She kissed my shoulder and then went into our new bedroom. I continued to stare out the window and left after a strong wind turned a woman's skirt inside out and showed off her pink thong. Alice had the bed already made, the tall thin bookcase filled with DVDs, most of my boxes were on the other side of the bed, and she was putting clothes in the wardrobe next to it. "How long was I staring at that woman?"

"What woman?" She put a pair of heels at the bottom and straightened up.

"Some wind came and showed her thong."

"So that's why you wanted to move here. Or it is because you would be closer to Jasper?"

"Even though I can't live a single moment without the homo, I think the wind wins out." I fell back on the bed. "Only just though." Alice dropped the dress she was holding and jumped on top of me, caging me. "You're very cuddly today... Did you do something?"

"I'm always cuddly. How do you feel about going back to school?"

"It'll be fine. It's college, you don't get that stupid whiny bullshit drama and problems you get in high school. You spend most of your time in frat houses, smoking pot, experimenting, and pretending to pay attention in class."

"That's what people like to think college is." She rolled over and laid on her side. "How do you think the room is coming along?" I looked around the room and shrugged.

"Since it seems your side of the room is pretty much finished, I better start on my side." I started sitting up but Alice pulled me back. "Whoa, easy there, Tinkerbell."

"You can unpack later, but right now..." She trailed off as she started tugging at the bottom of my shirt.

"New apartment sex?" I grinned and turned around.

"Just because you put something in front of sex doesn't make it a thing, Bella."

"Don't screw up my logic." I grabbed her hips and rolled us, her coming out on top. "I think everything's going to turn out alright." She nodded and I kissed her.

**XxX**

**I know this was very short but I thought it was the best way to go, I think I tied everything up, it's a good place to start the sequel, and you get a little Bellice fluff. Expect the first chapter of the sequel in... ooh, two weeks at the least.**

**For old times sake, throw a review my way.**


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